i cant get my boyfriends penis in, it gets half way then starts to bend and hurt him heaps. Iv only had sex about 4 times and its been hard to get in everytime. what to do? what to do? I try to finger myself and he fingers me alot before we try to try open me up but it never seems to work. its extreeeeeemely frustrating.!!
It 'sounds like' you *could* have this... I cant even remember the name but to sum it up you have a 'small opening' right at the frontish of the vagina. Im told this is approx where your hymen would have been before. Wait, Im just suggesting that as the most likely medical reason for something like this. But having said that... its entirely possibly you cannot find a way to relax enough and are clenching. Thats a pretty common sort of thing at a first try. (or fourth). Heres the thing. It doesnt need to go in all the way. I hate to sound like your wiseguy doctor but here is the obvious advice... if it hurts him to try and put it in that far: Then STOP doing that. Just stop it. Proceed to enjoy at the 'halfway' zone or less. But check that out with your Doc at the next exam because I know its not uncommon for some women to have that 'small ring' situation.
{heavy sigh} Sweetie, someone HAS to eventually tell you the truth; I guess this time it's MY turn. I think what you are experiencing is called "Vaginismus." My wife and I married as virgins and fought with this for almost two years after we were married. I wish someone (even medical professionals) would have talked with us about this. here's what Wikipedia has to say about it ... Vaginismus is a condition which affects a woman's ability to have sexual intercourse, insert tampons and undergo gynaecological examinations. This is the result of a conditioned muscle reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle in which they clamp shut, making penetration either extremely painful or impossible. The severity of vaginismus varies from woman to woman. It is important to remember that the woman does not choose for this to happen; it is a reflex reaction. Vaginismus can be compared to the response of the eye shutting when an object comes towards it. A woman with vaginismus learns to expect pain to come with penetration and so her mind automatically sends a signal to her PC muscles to clamp shut, thus making penetration either impossible or very painful. The conditioned reflex creates a vicious circle for vaginismic women. For example, if a teenage girl is told that the first time she has sex it will be very painful, she may develop vaginismus because she expects pain. If she then attempts to have sexual intercourse, her muscles will spasm and clamp shut which will make sex painful. This then confirms her fear of pain as does each further attempt at intercourse. Every time the fear is confirmed, the brain is being "shown" that sex does hurt and that the reflex reaction of the PC muscles is needed. This is why it is important that if a woman suspects she has vaginismus, she stops attempting to have sexual intercourse. This does not mean women with vaginismus cannot partake in other sexual activities, as long as penetration is avoided. It is a common misconception that these women do not want to have sex as a lot of the time, they desperately do. There is no one reason that a woman may have vaginismus and in fact, there are a variety of factors that can contribute. These may be psychological or physiological and the treatment required will usually depend on the reason why the woman has the condition. Some examples of causes of vaginimus include sexual abuse, strict religious upbringing, being taught that sex is dirty or wrong or simply the fear of pain associated with penetration, and in particular, losing one’s virginity. These are just some of the reported reasons behind vaginismus and there are many more. It is a very personal condition and so each case must be looked at individually as causes and treatment cannot be generalised to all women with vaginismus. Most women who suffer from vaginismus do not realise they have it until they try to insert a tampon or have sex for the first time and so it may come as quite a shock to them. The condition will not get worse or more serious if left untreated unless the woman is continuing to have sex/use tampons despite feeling pain on penetration. See more of this article at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
Could be vaginismus could be that you just need more foreplay could be that you just need more lube too..
I think you need to RELAX. Your tense and nervous and your muscles are tightening up. Its happens to MANY MANY girls. Especially when they are first experimenting with sex. Just take a deep breath, maybe a beer or two lol. But having a tight love box isnt such a bad deal. Im sure most guys would like that lol. But if its WAY to tight then maybe you should see a doc. Im SURE they could answer your questions confidently. But if he can get halfway in, i dont understand why he cant enter you completeley? He shouldnt "bend" like what u were saying if hes totally erect. Try doing some different positions (you on top and then slide down on him slowly) or something? Hope this helps.....dont worry, to me this does NOT sound like that big of a deal. Remember to keep taking deep breaths and calm yourself down to loosen your muscles. You want to have sex with a clear and passionate mind....I think this will help enormously.
Vaginismus. Heh, I never knew there was an actual name for it but that sounds very much like an experience I had with a one-time fiance. In that case there were three things going on: She was naturally TINY all over and that included downtown. She had what you describe as a psychological 'vaginismus' for some personal reasons as well as anticipating pain for the third reason.. She had a small 'ring' where what used to be where her hymen was. And I think this is called 'imperforate hymen' or something like this. In fact, Her mother had the same condition and it was relieved after childbirth when the doctor had to (brace yourselves) cut it open wider. He then stiched it up so it was wider after it healed too. So, here you have someone who is expecting pain and consequently is doing that sort of 'involuntary' clenching thing. And yes... yes that really can bend a penis its that powerful and strong. But yeah, your only at your first few tries so I would definately take a consideration of what buttonbear is saying. And again, You do not have to stick it in all the way here folks. Do what you CAN do and dont try and force anything.
There are, in most societies of the earth, medical practitioners referred to as, "doctors," or "physicians," who are eminently qualified through dint of schooling and hard studying, and who make themselves availale to the general public in offices contained in clinics or hospitals. Their purpose is simply to heal, not to judge or criticise. They are available to explain and help and may be trusted, especially in exegencies which are slightly embarassing. GO SEE ONE,and stop asking us amateurs, who never quite have our facts correct nor our sympathies tested. SEE A DOC!
I agree with fastswitch. There are too many things that can go wrong with a persons body to allow yourself to be examined here. Think of the possibilities; You could have Vaginismus. You could have a deviated cevix ("Tipped Womb"). You could just have a small build which precludes penetration. You could have a serious psycho-sematic disorder. You could have dozens of other troubles. "SEE A DOC!" No better advise can be given.
