what's a single old hippy woman to do?

Yeah I'm hearin the oldwolf howlin on this bright sunshiny day. We are so trained in the thought system of fear and attack that we get to the point where natural thinking -- love -- feels unnatural and unnatural thinking -- fear -- feels natural. It takes real discipline and training to unlearn the thought system of fear. Lots of people are in the dark but they don't even know, huh? Emily Dickinson said that - That it shall never come again is what makes life so sweet. I'm runnin with emily and oldwolf and robspace2 in this thread. The ladies just seemed to be a bit closed up to all the wonderful possibilies.. and hey my favorite authors are women. What you dear ladies readin these days ? And huh.. who wants to train a new one..oops I think it was ..break in a new one... at this late stage in her life ...Huh ? You mean like...sit man...shut up man....take out the trash man
And shameless heifer i know you might say that you were kiddin now but you deep down that's how you think it is....that's the sad philosophy that so many woman/men suffer from and it's what keeps the suffering cycling thru generation after generation. Sincerely Shameless Heifer and Earthmother ..Maybe you could go to the library or bookstore and read the book by a wonderful and enlightened woman author name Marianne Williamson...pick just one A Woman's Worth or A Return to Love, or Enchanted Love- The Mystical Power of INTIMATE relationships and there's more....Just a thought Reading a good book for just 15 minutes a day can transform your life after just one short year...Wow do the math.. think of all the possibilities people
Peace&Love
Paul

 

I am sure that what shameless meant was that we've gotten pretty set in our ways and it would be more effort than it was worth to start over with someone who would have to get used to our "stuff", and we would have to get used to theirs. And we ALREADY have someone who is acclimated to how we are. Thinking about starting over at that point seems like a pretty insurmountable obstacle. Like sliding all the way to the bottom of a sand pile and having to struggle all the way back up to the top. Living with ANYONE is a challenge. EVERYONE has their things that may not be the most sought after traits. Then put two together. It's like fitting a jigsaw puzzle together. Any old piece wont do. If you have a couple of pieces that fit relatively well, you probably shouldn't mess with it, 'cause you could spend alot of time and frustration trying to find one that fits better.
No, we're not sitting here like dog trainers, believe me. But being an animal lover, I DO find that most men are like large, potentially dangerous, and mainly uncontrollable pets. So, seeing them as uncontrollable, means that I can't "train" anybody, and I realize that fully. We can only be in control of ourselves (hopefully) and if someone does not want to control themselves, I don't remember "lion tamer" as being in my job description. It's just nice when you have been around someone long enough that there are no surprises. Life is growing too short for all that. My diaper days are over...

 

Yes it is if you that's what you think.. Misery does attract misery, don't you think ? You say ...More effort than it's worth... , hmm Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind. That's the hard thing for most people, isn't earthmother ? Changing thoughts that we've clung to for years....You know a rut is just a grave with the ends kicked out

 

Living a life alone and lonely ain't a picnic. And the older you get, the worst it is. Especially if you're, "doin' the sentence, but committed no crime."

Peace,
poor_old_dad

 

man i aint even old n sometimes i think i am at about my wits end with all of it.... ... amen to the men thing n for those that dont know me n earthmomma are alike in alot of ways just on smaller scales.... the men cant handle us when they got us but the women think we be mean evil witches or sumthin

oh n earth mama,,,, i have ponered this for years,,,, it didnt start foro me though in middle age but very early twenties,,,,,so many attached male friends told me they wish there wife would learn from me n yet there wives didnt care for me n the guys i was with couldnt handle what i am ,,,, in alot of ways still continues today..... but... lil evil here i must admit,,, many of the exes i have had aint been happy since cuz all the new ones along the way were compared to me... this aint braggin ere or tootin me own hown,,,, oddly fact is stranger than fiction

 

hey girl hi girl i probably think i could ah,but i am on the outer
sometimes but not like ages ago when magic ruled the air,anyway you sound nice hope that your magic can happen

 

man i git what yer sayin,,, ya wanna keep gettin what ya gettin keep doin what you r doin

n my more consice yet,,,,, find yer self in hole stop diggin....

but ol flowerman.... in my life,,,, i ahve a path i must follow,,, i know it before i walk it,,,,, life has taught me to listento what i am told by self,,,, therefore i follow said path,,,,,, when i know my time i coming i know it,,, in the mean time i have what i have,,,, for many a time when we walk these paths we are where we need to be to learn,,,,, when only one continues learning and other either stops due to outside influences, ie... alcohol , drugs, mental issues...ahemmmm... what ever our paths that once were together slowly go in opposite directions,,,,,
possibly misery seeks company,,, , but tis only misery when we learn that it is misery and move on,,,,,, nothing anyone can force upon anyone,,, it has to be something decided upon by ones own self...

 

Beyond all the roles we play, the co-dependence, and focus of having a mate, and maybe even beyond what seems to be inside the questions, doubts, or way we look at another, we should consider how we see ourselves. In this place Love can become an action, not a reaction. When we base our connections on someone needing us, or us needing them, are we not asking for our inner spirits to define love for us. We were never promised forever. The commitments we make must be to ourselves to be true to our path. Those we share intimate space with are there to share….not be our space, or path.

Me, feeling on some days like a forgotten grape left on the vine of life, I smile, an at 56 feel like a thousand year old mummy. Other days the view within the vineyard is like a fine wine waiting to be harvested. I do not have all the answers yet. My heart still argues with me at times, and then I read such a post as this, and wonder….. Am I asking the right questions, and where is my focus?

Not here to break in, or just get laid, not here to have two half’s make a whole. And not even here seeking to be relationship material, I find that when two wholes share intimate space there comes an open vulnerability that trust in, and beyond itself. There is that moment that the abyss offers us showing us the flesh is the illusion, and until we leap beyond what needs us, or our needing them, we can let go of expectations, and self imposed prisons, to see, to love with openness. We can become respect, and reverence for a journey we asked only to discover within ourselves. Where our courage lays may be another matter entirely.

When we stop reaching out for fears unnamed, or for excuses, and places we give up within ourselves, we find its not the men, or other women that spread salt in our awakening, but our own need to grow up while we are getting on with life. What a proverbial shame when we shut down, or turn off for want of something, or someone to save us from ourselves. So like rain we fall until we meet resistance becoming the reaction. Should we not then change perspective, and bow with wonder at our own stubborn wounds, and innocents, and reach out again, and again to become love in action, to heal and thus feed the whole with the amazing seasons of our lives? So what is a person to do. Maybe, without blame, Be the action, not the reaction?

 

Good-I used to think that for me to be a whole person I needed the admiration and attention of another-This is nice to have but very shallow to think I need another to make myself feel good about me-I had to learn to live in my own skin before I could invite someone else into my life-I am single now and would love to meet a women that I could drive nuts-I know she's out there -just waiting for crazy ass me to come along!-lol-Life's fun-wonderful journey! Way too short though-

 

Ok, let's see what we've got here...

Something stuck in the back of my mind about what ya'll said, and I just figured out what. Men who do all the "dumb shit" to those they should show love, men who "smack women around", men who don't show respect to others, around they aren't called hippies, they're called rednecks.

It's hard to get a lot of folks to agree on what a hippie is, but most of us (I think) agree on some things that dis-qualify someone. And I think disrespecting those who show you respect and/or using violence to try to control others and/or doing mean, hurtful things (the 'dumb shit') are things that would disqualify someone from being a hippie.

That applies to men and women. And lets not forget, women have done a lot of bad things to other women and to men. One thing I think all hippies have in common is a wish for Peace and an End to the War in _______ ( fill in your choice, I pick all the above); but if we can't get peace between men & women - - we won't get far.

I'd also like to point out to Ms. Heffer, Earthmother, Dilly, Old Crone, and ... well it'd be a long, long list, that most men, hippie men, around these forums DO respect you. Your opinions are listened to, considered, and thought about, indeed sought out...not always agreed with... but with respect. Some of ya'll may know that, I don't know. I felt it was important enough to just point blank say it.

Peace,
poor_old_dad

 

thanks dad,, i think

as i said the other night,,, however may have been garbled a bit by outside influences...

i just feel that so often we start situations in this case relationships where we need them to be n then one person "grows" (n it aint always the female either) more than the other,,,, so many factors there i aint gonna list ... but when that occurs what we once thought was grand aint quite so grand no more....n its just a cycle thing really ,,, we just go round n round improving bits n pieces while the other bullshit remains,,, but again its right for the time n people ,,,,, n so it goes,,,... round n round the bushes like a bunch of monkies n weasels....

i just sorta been wondering bout the label mess,,,, but thats something for another day...

 

Yeah Dilly, I fully agree with you. Even if a couple is in a relationship they still keep changing. Sometimes they change, or grow, together, but sometimes apart.

Peace,
poor_old_dad

 

Dili,
As a brief aside - your post about eating what's in front of you and using it for learning and Growing - whether any other party does or not (my own slant on your words - and meaning ?) does come across and I find myself in resonance with that meaning.
Yes when it's time to Change, synchronicity comes a knocking - ours to hear and pay attention - until then, running from things general tends to make the lessons inherent loom a little larger, making the case for our learning the lessons.
Sometimes it's important to remember that we're here to learn and grow - Change -....the primary focus of linear/dualistic realities.
Enjoy your insights and the stream of consciousness you often move into to communicate them. Thank you


Blessings along the Way
- and with you and yours

Light & Love

Namaste (my spirit bows to your spirit)

 

luvvin u oldwolf....

glad someone "gets" me atleast on occassion..... perhaps if i actually read a book or something on such subjects in life i could use a more intelligent method of communicating ..... i just aint never studied much of anything on such things n have to relay it in the only way i know how n hope that once n a while,,,,it atleast sparks something along the same line as my thought.... not many do.... ,,, so my jury in my head is still out on whether tis a gift or a cup half empty thing...

 

Thanks, dad. There ARE a pretty special bunch of folks who hang around here. I think everybody knows who they are. It's nice to be appreciated. And nice to know there are some folks out there who have some real understanding of "stuff". Yup, the life of a hippy can be pretty isolated at times... Hard to find other folks on a daily basis who are pretty much on the same page.

Luvin' you...

 

Well said POD....We are suppose to risk honest and forthright communications.
Respect peoples right to say what they think and their opinions ,,,,whether agreed with or not. And we certainly have the right to disagree also..an old French guy said that "Lifes great consolation is to be able to say what one thinks"....
We should encourage one another to dig deeper into our own selves, to share our real experiences, our hopes and dreams, positive energies when we have them and risk asking for help and encouragement when we need it.
We should try and learn new things and ways of improving our communications skill no matter who we are.
I wise old woman said "That if we would just teach our children to become excellent readers that the rest of education would take care of itself."
I never read a book until I was 25....
There's a book exchange forum in COOL that has some outstanding ones listed....
.I have a list of my own that I have found really great in helping me learn alot of things that no one ever taught me at home or in school.
Just PM me if any of you wonderful people are interested.

Peace&Love
Paul

 

Heya ...

I thought the greatest challenge is to live with oneself, not with another .... as we can live with another in a million of ways ... but they often are a reflection of our own needs to change ... which we tend to forget.

It is also the greatest chance.

And no matter which age, no matter how fixed we are to our own self-image, there's always a chance to start over again and try and change it ... and readjust to who we feel we truly are, rather than to the obstacles ... specially if the self-image feels old and torn.

Have a good day everybody

 

Worked for me.

 

Fuck -I'mLMAO-Thats funny stuff man0You ought to consider stand up-lol-Your right though a good SINGLE childless woman is so hard to find-I have raised alot of other peoples kids for them-I.m done with that-

 

Try to remember that the best part of looking for someone new
is the looking.

I too am 54 and have a squeese that I have loved for 20 years,
G-d forbid I have to look again, but if I did I would try to enjoy
it.

I'm looking out the window of my moutain home and watching
about 30 deer having dinner in my back yard.

LIFE IS FUN, Let it out, cancel out the mind control and enjoy!



Dan