Can you help me with my moral dilema?

you should tell her how you feel, be calm and just explain the situation. i think it's fair to give a 'warning' a chance, she's worth it. ( we all are)

and well, going out with other girls would be a shitty thing to do. your gf would find out anyway and think about those other girls - you could hurt their feelings too


talk to your girl, let her know and see if it helps and if things wont get better after that... leave her and start dating again

 

SO.......................I'd like to know what happened? Or what you decided to do?

 

yea me too..its ike he asked our opinions & didnt bother waitin for answers

 

Hope she didn't rip his head off...

 

I can honestly say, if my boyfriend ent on date with other women and didnt consider it cheat I sure would and I'd rip his nuts off and feed them to him.

 

I completely agree.

Cheating is not about the physical acts you engage in. Cheating is about lying, betrayal, sneaking around, etc. If your girlfriend agrees to an open relationship, you could have sex with 20 other women and I would not call you a cheater. If your girlfriend does not know about it and you go through with what you are proposing (dating but not getting physical with other women), then I would call you a cheater, and a pretty nasty one at that since you're attempting to justify it on the grounds that your gf is going through a mental health issue at the moment.

 

that just sounds so damn selfish to me man... and i know what i am speaking of when i say that doing that will crush your girl, i've had it happen to me. i think that people like this don't deserve to be with anyone worthwhile, but for some reason they often are.

stop being a pussy, and talk to the person you claim to love.

 

FYI..for guys it is very much about the physical acts that their cheating girlfriends engage in. We are not a sconcerned w/ the mental aspect as women are. I still voted no, and think dating w/out kissing is cheating.

The reason I am posting, other than the fact that I am bored at work), is that he may want to consider moving on. He is only 24. He does not need to be treated poorly because she's depressed. There is a strong likleyhood that she will stay depressed throughout her adult life...it's possible anyway. If I was 24 I'd move on and wait for one w/ out the emotional problems (clinical depression).

 

word a nova brother.... you definitely have that nova outlook on things.

personally i would have no problem staying with a girl while she is depressed, i understand that stuff pretty well. i am also slightly defective myself that way, and would hate to be judged based on that... there is a whole lot of other stuff about me.

also, as a male i am just as bothered, if not more, by the mental aspects of cheating. at least physical shit is a serious instinctual impulse for us and you can get sex with just about anyone, so someone stealing the mental connection is worse for me. Not to mention acts usually follow thoughts.. if he gets her mind, most likely he will get her body.

 

i think your not only being direspectful to her for even concidering this question..
but also disrespectful to every one of us who bothered to help with your lil moral dilema by not even responding
why bother asking for advice if you never even bothered reading it?
or maybe ya read it but wont respond untill someone says yea go for it?
i'm guessing if 100 people say no its not cool..but 1 says yea u should..you'd only listen to that 1 that reinforces your selfishness

 

I'm guessing you love her, but aren't 'in love' with her.

Going out with another person, to most girls, is the same, if not worse, than jumping in the sack with them. Women percieve life on an emotional level. Most of them are more worried about where your heart is than where your dick is.

If she is depressed, leaving her will only make it worse, and if you do love her, why would you want to do that.

Question is, is it love you feel for her, or is it comfort, combined with the laziness to confront the issue?

 

I'd disagree. Several of the people that got me to think about what was at the root of what exactly is cheating (instead of taking the "I know it when I see it" emotional response) were men. Granted, several of those were men involved in polyamorous or open relationships, which are based on an explicit acknowledgement of cheating as betrayal, lying, etc., not physical acts (which are explicitly not cheating if one follows the agreed upon guidelines in an open relationship).

I agree that he should probably move on. A relationship is only worth staying in as long as both parties are willing to work on it. The fact that he is even thinking about dating someone else suggests that he has already checked out of this relationship, but perhaps is afraid to be single (find the next one before he dumps this one).

As I see it, the depression is peripheral. Whether he is having a hard time because she is depressed, she snores too loudly, works too much, etc., the issue is that something is causing problems in the relationship and his first thought is to date someone else rather than ask how he can work on improving his current relationship.