I feel like a retard, I have a supid little-girl cruxh on this dude! I'm very much in love with my bf, and the funny thing is that I know this other guy is not really even my type. He's a nice guy and all, and quite charming, and has a great body, but he's not the kind of guy I could actually BE WITH, and no part of me would even consider it. Yet, whenever I'm around him I feel like my face has turned bright red and I get all tongue-tied. (in fact, I'm sewing a custom garment for the guy and I felt more awkward than ever before when he came over here to get measured...). When he's not around, I've found myself thinking about him more than I probably should. I feel so stupid because I recognize it for what it is (a stupid school-girl crush that could/would/should never go anywhere) and yet I can't seem to stop it. I feel so obvious about it, but I can't say anything. Especially since I'd really like us (me and my bf) to be FRIENDS with the guy, I don't want my bf getting silly and jealous (even though he knows better, I can't expect him to help it when I can't even seem to help myself) Argh! This is seriously frustrating. Any advice?
I think that would be the worse thing you could do. Why do people always try to lead themselves into temptation? Just stay away from the other guy completely unless your boyfriend doesn't mean much to you. Think of it like this, would you be comfortable with some girl around all the time that he was crushing on. Wouldn't you expect him to keep his distance?
The thing is, he's a nice guy and he's made it clear to both of us that he enjoys hanging out (just as friends) I can't think of any reason I could give for NOT hanging out with him, except for telling them both the truth, which is honestly just totally embarrassing to me. Plus, he's in the same sort of circle as we are, so even if I made a point of not hanging out with him, we'd still constantly be at the same parties and whatnot. I guess all I can do is try to grow up about it, and maybe I'll get over it. I just can't believe the way it makes me feel - like it's not really even a positive thing, being around him just makes me feel all awkward and goofy like I'm 13 or something.
maybe the more time you & your bf spend around him, just in that circle of friends and whatever, you'll discover things about him that will just ruin that crush feeling. you already know it would never really work.. so its best to just let it die. i know what you mean though.. school girl crushes get me sometimes too, and i laugh at myself.. theyre hilarious to be caught into again. we all have crushes though, they're natural.. so dont worry about it.. it'll pass : )
Yeah, I'm sure it will pass. These things usually do, like everyone's said. I just hope I don't make a complete ass of myself in the interim. It annoys me, because I can think and speak rationally about this now, but as soon as this dude is around me I turn into a bumbling moron. It makes me wonder how the hell I ever ended up with my bf (oh yeah, he was a one-night-stand and we didn't realize how in love we were until after we'd "extended" out "hanging out" for several months! )
Yeah, you can't really have much control over feelings like that sometimes. That's why we have a rational sense to mediate our actions.
Try redirecting your crush feelings twards your boyfriend. When you think about your crush (or fantisize) direct what you would do whith him to your man. your boyfriend will love the extra attention and you can act on your fantacy impulses without guilt. I've done this before with my wife and it reminds me what a hottie she is and snaps me out of the crush. Not to mention it can lead to some awsome extra-freaky sex, and that's good for all concerned.
^^lol, yeah, well, I don't think I'm suffering from any kind of shortage of awesome, extra-freaky sex! I think I'm mostly over the crush thing anyways... admitting it to myself and realizing how silly and irrational it was was mostly all it took. And, I must admit, a few days of conveniently timed us-time with me and my bf did help... :X The whole thing, as it played out in my head, just reminded me how much I love him, anyway!
