k i really need some advice on this... my friend had an abortion and its close to her due date and shes really depressed i dont know what to tell her help would be great!
It is impossible to simply ask for an abortion "close to the due date" anywhere in the USA. What was the week of gestation and what medical condition was the freind, or the fetus in, to warrent this most unusual procedure? A fetus can usually survive after 22 weeks, so in cases of maternal illness, the fetus is simply delivered early and put into the NICU until he or she recovers. Third Trimester abortions are NOT available "on demand" in the USA.
I believe what teh OP is saying is that if her friend hadn't had the abortion (eight months ago?), it would now be close to her due date. Don't tell her anything! Don't give her advice. Just be her friend and listen when she needs to talk.
oHHHHH, I missed that. I thought she was saying a freind had the abortion close to the due date. Sorry. Yes, please, just listen to her and let her greive, if that is what she needs to do.
I got a cat(rescued from the APL)after my first abortion. She made me feel better. She became my lower-maintainance, cheaper, less-stressful 3rd kid that I didn't have squeeze out. Turns out that getting a pet after an abortion or miscarriage is very common therapy and the bond that forms is unbreakable. I may have lost a potential human child but that opened room in my life and heart for an animal that may have faced death otherwise. My husband then got rid of her to hurt me. *weeps* I still think of her every day. Like I said, it's an unbreakable bond. If that's not something feasible for your friend then just support her and NEVER make her feel guilty or ashamed, that will increase her depression.
Do you know why she had an abortion? If it was because of something important, remind her of that, and that it was the best decision she could have made at the time, and that she shouldn't feel guilty for doing so. Reassure her that she is not a bad person for what she did, nor should she regret it. Maybe that won't fly well, I don't know. But to me, regretting something like that, isn't worth it, because clearly if she went to those lengths, it was for a good reason. And if it was for a good reason, she needs to be reminded of that. Instead of regretting her decision, rather she should learn from it. Anyway, and yes, just be there for her, and listen to her. I recently had an abortion [Friday, actually] and the mere thought of me ever regretting it makes me sick, because I know I made the best possible decision. If I ever feel guilt or regret, I know I'm going to need to remind myself of what the situation was, and that it wouldn't have worked anyway. But, I don't know her, so maybe that won't work with her.
I believe that these feelings are "normal" and felt widley by most women who have abortions. She endured a dramitic change of biology & hormone balance TWICE which takes time to recover from. Hormone imbalance can play a huge role in postpardom and abortion related depression. She needs to give herself time to heal emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Many women who have had abortions have a ceramony for their "children" around the time of their due date as a way to say goodbye and honor their "life". There are also plenty of online message boards, support groups, and (in person) group therapy for women who have had abortions. Tell her to search online "post abortion support group" and she will find many resources. That might be helpful to her to hear from other women who have felt what she is feeling and have gone on to be successful in their lives.
remind her theres always another chance wether or not this was the right choice now theres always hope for tomorow
Listen and be there for her, that is all that you can do. Just be a good friend because that is what she'll need. I'd like to think that with these types of things there is a soul waiting to come to this world and it just wasn't that souls time to be born, someday, when that soul and the mother is ready it will happen. I told my aunt that a few years ago when she had a miscarriage, she said it was the most beautiful thing anyone had said to her about the situation. I guess I was right though, my cousin Jonah is two this year.
