StonerStoryz

Come on now, the title pretty much explains itself.
Everyone has at least one hilarious story about a time when they were high, or had some crazy shit happen whle you were buzzed
So go ahead, spill the beans, cuz admit it, stoner stories are the funniest to hear and the best to tell.
You could talk about your first time, the funniest thing that ever happened to ya, whatever you want, let it out

 

I guess I'll start with one, why not let it be the first time I got high?
Well lets see, first of, I'd smoked FOUR times before this, and never once got high. It was a dime on only three heads (thats not much now, but back when you first started, that'd be way more than enough). But finally, that day did come.
I was with six other people, and I can't really remember how much we smoked. It was night time, and then it jus kinda creeped up on me (has anyone got that feeling?) It was crazy, the first time I ever felt anything like that. I was just kind of out of it, I hadnt even realized that my friend will had been talkin to me.
They all wanted to go to CVS to get some drinks and shit, cuz we all had cotton mouth like a mother. So we made our way over there, it was only acrss the field and the street, it was within sight range, but it felt so far away.
When we finally got there, I started laughin at nothin, walking up and down the aisles. Everyone else left me cuz I was actin too obvious. Then when it came time to pay for the shit, they left it up to me so I pulled out mass change and made the cashier count it out while I continued to try and stifle my laughter. As soon as it was rung up I grabbed the shit and got out of there, I was startin to get paranoid cuz of the way the cashier was lookin at me.
We were heading to my friend justin's house. I dont remember the walk there at all, I just remember getting there. But supposedly we got shot at cuz we went through someone's backyard. I dont believe them cuz I'dve remembered that, but they swear it happened to this day.
Anyway, when I got to justin's, we all jus chilled upstairs, and Watched the movie SPUN. I ate an entire container of cool whip with a spoon, and I swear it was the best thing I've ever eaten. then somehow, I wound up home and in bed. I know Its not as funny, but it was my first, so there ya go

 

i guess ill tell you about one of the more painful stoner outings iv had, a few months ago me and 2 friends baught half ounce of white widdow off this guy we new and we smoked it all in an hour, so we were totaly out of it walking around when we went down a dirt road and we were walking down this road and the next thing i new i was falling face first onto the ground, im there rolling around in pain and my m8s are laughing thinking i was just really stoned which i was but id also got my foot stuck in a pothole and fallen to the floor. After about 30 seconds of rolling around i started laughing too but at the same time saying i cant walk call an ambulance. my friend told me to try and move my foot and after 3 tries i did and i was sooo happy i was shouting out "i can move it, it moves! " then later wen id sobered up it hurt like hell and it turned out i had fractured my ankle.

 

oh sht there are so many...

My best friend was in my calculus class and there was this kid(we call him "the gooch") who has NEVER drank, smoked or done anything to be non-sober. he vowed not to drink until he is 21. well he works at a meijers(like a walmart but smaller) and he always tells us stories about dirty ass people gettin caught shoplifting and like tackled by the secret shoppers..

well we were like "wtf the gooch we wanna see somethin cool like that." so me and my buddy get all blazed and decide to get munchies and go make fun of The gooch at meijers, so we go and as we're wandering around, out of nowhere this trailer-trash meth addict lookin lady is runnin down the aisle and this guy and a manager chases her down and slams her into the aisle about 2 feet away from my face... needless to say it was sweet but even sweeter cause we were stoned and we were griping about not seeing cool sht like that earlier in the day .

all we could do was just sit there and like laugh while they held her down lmao

 

My first time was about three years ago. I had just gotten home from the first day of work in my life, and when showed up at my house my friend Jeff was waiting there to pick me up. I didn't even know he was planning on being there, but we drive over to our friend Nick's house who was having a small party at his house. So we were hanging out at his house for maybe 20 minutes when he comes down from his room with a pipe made out of playdough and a gram of weed. Jeff, Nick, and I were the only three there who were going to smoke. So we go out to back deck and start hitting this homemade pipe. It was kinda of weird because I never smoked anything in my life, but could naturally hit the pipe. After two hits my friend Jeff says it hurts his throat too much and stops smoking. Me and Nick continue and he says he wants to smoke the whole gram just to get rid of it. So we kept packing and smoking bowls and as were outside smoking we see a girl from the house behind us watching, but just continued not caring. After we finished smoking Nick went back inside, and I stayed outside felling "different". I dont remember how long I stood out there but I just stood on his deck spinning in circles. Two of my friends were outside smoking cigars and they sat there watching me spin. After some amount of time (?), I walk back inside and Nick ask me to play some video games. So I sat there trying to a play, but I couldn't. I said this game is way to complicated for me right now. He just started laughing at me, because we were choosing characters and didn't even start playing yet. But then one of my friends who was outside smoking a cigar, came saying that the cops are outside in the front and there was knocking on the door. Scared the crap out me, thinking that the girl from other house called the cops, only to find it was as prank and it was just the other kid smoking a cigar. Then we order pizza, which was the best food I've ever tasted in my life, and chilled out for the rest of the night.

 

^^ wait wait wait back up. A pipe made of playdough? How does that work?

 

lol i love how EVERY one of these threads is a success, no matter how many times its done! always new stories too. anyhow ill go smoke a joint, think of a story and probably be back. adios!

 

okay got one, its not really a funny story per se but its a story.

So it's the middle of summer and I'm at the local park (it's a huge one with a big pond thing and really marshy) gettin' ripped. I finish my bowl and decide to head to Burger Baron (yum) and as I'm leaving the park I see this lady and her family running around screaming out for their sons. Apparently they lost them, a 3 and a 7 year old, somewhere... and of course me with a bike, I figured what the hell I'll go look. So I ride around the park for half a hour and then these two kids fuckin pop out of these bushes in front of me and I'm like OH SHIT and for some reason they started running and it was like a chase lol. Eventually they got the point and I took 'em back to the mom. I was so baked and I just felt so cool for finding these kids.

thats the end lol, i dunno if that was good or shite, like i said i just smoked one so im a little woohoo yippideedodaaday

 

I'm gonna tell about the first time I ever smoked a blunt.

I had been stoned MANY times before, but when you smoke your first blunt, it's like falling in love with Mary Jane all over again. This won't seem like an experience that I would hold in my heart forever because it's kinda fukt up, but it was special.....

Me, my cousin, and our friend bought a quarter of dank one day for $40, yes I said a 1/4oz of dank for $40. Anyway, my friend rolled up two blunts of the dankest bud I had tried in those days. We smoked both of the blunts back to back and I was lovin it. We listened to some pink floyd and three six mafia and I was zonin like never before. We pulled up to the mall parking lot and roached the second blunt. Suddenly, I realized that my heart was beating extremely fast, like 150-200bpm. As we were getting out of the truck, I fuckin passed out and had a siezure. I even had a flash of a dream while I was falling......The flash was of an office building, but I don't remember anything else. Anyway, I started convulsing in the parking lot and a lot of people were watching, according to my cousin. They picked me up and threw me back in the truck. I was still kinda dazed, so they kept slapping me around trying to wake me up a little bit. I was kinda going in and out of a daze. They gave me some water to drink. After about 30 minutes of slapping me and giving me water, I came out of it and I was feeling wonderful. We went to the movies and saw The Time Machine, but I slept the entire movie. Later that night, I smoked my 3rd and 4th blunt

 

Good job man.

 

^ damn (to the story)

 

yeah my friend made it the morning and let it dry during the day, it worked well and give it away to someone, saw it about two weeks later and it still worked. I've never made a pipe out of playdough myself, but might try it if I come across some playdough. The only thing is I dont know if its safe to smoke out of.

 

uhh i have already told this on here... but its really funny! So the first time i smoked a vaporizer, we were sittin around passin the whip, and i was starting to get really stoned, like sinking into the couch stoned, when the girl next to me farts! hehe i was the only one who heard it and i looked at her and just started laughing my ass off, and shes like shut up that was my stomach! and then i pretty much fell on the floor laughing.

 

Well. I was getting stoned with eight people in my friend's garage. Including her 11 year old brother. I tried to not let him smoke cause I think 1 is a bit young to start. Anyway, there is this toilet in there, not hooked up to anything. And the floor is dirt, mind you. Anyway. I lift it up and think about it. Then I sit down. Then about an hour later I decided that I needed to go piss. So I ask if I may please use the toilet and my friends said, 'do so wisely' or some shit, I don't remember. And I'm stoned while I'm telling you guys this, just so ya know. Anyway. I pull down my pants and there is like this metal love seat things beside me. LIke one of those porch swings except it's metal and isn't a swing. Anyway. So I pull down my pants and sit right next to her on the toilet. And I piss. And the sseat of the toilet was all Dusty and Dirty. D & D. Dusty and Dirty. Anyay. So I did that and we all laughed for about three huor.s My friend recorded it on her cell phone. Man.

And then two weeks later, I piss in it again with the group, the firen'ds who's house it is pisses AND shits. And hte keyboard feels so wierd right now. Anyw. So we lit her shit on fire. Amd tjem whoa. And then her fiance pisses in it. Man. Alright. that was just the toilet storires. peac/e

 

wtf is wrong with you people^?


and wonderboys a hero! yay

 

she lives in kansas...

 

Hahahahaha thats great


Hell yeah! for chasin after those little kids wonderboy

 

so people from kansas will just piss anywhere?

 

This time I killed my husband oooooh

 

Hell yeah wonderboy that must have been fun, I love having missions when I'm baked, I feel like jason bourne haha

Within the first dozen times or so I got stoned I smoked with a friend of mine and were cruisin around and we found ourselfs by the racetrack, which happened to be holding a race that day. As we drove by all of a sudden one of the cars goes off the track and comes onto the road like it ain't no thang haha that still weirds me out.