Turning in my things

So today is my last day at work. I am going to do my last round of interviews and then go into the office and trade my laptop, cell phone, credit card and a plethora of other items I do not want to give back in exchange for my last paycheck, a severance check and an unemployment claim number (they were nice enough to set that up for me).
I am ok, I am just afraid I am not going to be okay tonight. I have to give up my Y membership too as do my friends, mom and grandparents, which is okay because I have a different gym membership but they have an Olympic size pool at the Y near my house, which my gym doesnt, they have an over shlorinated indoor pool.
Dude my lifestyle is going to change today, significantly. Going from a really good position to not working and going to school full-time next month and next semester is going to be difficult. I think it is a really good change that I need and am thankful it didn't come earlier, as this is the perfect time in my life-I am single and can just use this time for me.
I don't know how I am going to adjust to having so much time on my hands and not being able to buy whatever I want when i want.
Here's to a new life at 5:30pm today...wish me luck in holding it together.

 

It's the tough times- and how we cope with them- that define who we really are. At times when it seems appropriate to wish someone luck I can't help but wonder how "good luck" will benefit someone in the long run.

Your separation anxiety will be insignificant unless you allow it to overtake you. Wrap things up with strength and dignity and move on. You're coming into a time where you'll demonstrate what you're made of. Unless one is tested, one does not grow spiritually. Be thankful you have a chance to develop as a person. Luck? Bah... find the strength, luck has little to do with it.

 

you can do it - you'll be fine with all the changes. we've talked about having a base plan on what to do and you already have that setup. just stick to it, modify/add things and you'll be fine.

 

very well put, thank you. It will be nice to eventually taste equanimity...I just know that I first need to find fortitude, which is what I will have time to work on.

I am most upset about losing things and impressing people with my job...but I need to assure myself that there will be much better things around the bend and after my break I will be in state where I will be refreshed enough to make a difference like I used to and I will be mature enough to manage having carreer. I wasn't mature enough for this job, not the job it's self, but rather the things it threw at me personality wise. I feel like I failed the test.

 

I can do it but it is still hard. Working in high profile positions for 3 years and then...not working at all. I thought taking a break was supossed to be easier than this. It's what I thought I wanted but now I am unsure.

 

yeah, that sucks. anxiety over not working is horrible.

 

In the past I've asked myself who would pass judgment on me because of my career and exactly why would I want to impress such a person. People waste so much of their life energy meeting other peoples' standards and wind up being profoundly unhappy because the ONE person they've failed to please is themselves. Your real friend will accept you regardless of what you do for a living and one big key to self-betterment is being truly happy. On the topic of self betterment- how has quitting cigarettes coming along?

 

It's just such a big change and it's so quick and to have to wait to see how much severance and unemplyment I actually get before I know if I can have a cell phone, keep the same hairstylist etc is tough. My mom is being really nice she offered to no longer chanrge me rent (which I had to take her up on) and to co-sign a loan for me for tuition since I was planning on going to graduate school at Springfield, which the Y owns and I had a total scholarship to...but not anymore.

I need this though really bad. Last night I did my own nails and I realized it was the first time I did my own in a couple of years. I need a step back to reflect upon how I have been acting, valueing things instead of people, not spending enough time with my close friends or family and such.

 

i understand thats its hard - and its either gonna make you or break you. you said you feel like you failed the test. don't be afraid of failure - i used to fear it, but now i embrace it. when you fail, you either learn from it or you don't. i'm gonna help as much as i can so this doesn't break you, but the majority of the work must come from you.

you're just beginning this break, so there is a lot of shock to you right now. it'll subside over time. if you work on doing things for yourself it'll go faster which i just learned in the past few days.

you have school coming up, you gonna graduate, you have plans to go up to SF, you have fitness goals, etc - you'll make it through this

 

Great! I taped one up that a found a few days ago and smoked half of it. Other than that I have been quit for one week and one day now. I crave a pack right now but I know the choices I make now will reflect how I carry out this period of not working and self-growth. I am going to get drunk tonight though, it helped the day I found out I lost my job and I feel a bit entitled to it.But I am going to try and mantain an attitude of drinking outta celebration rather than mourning.

 

Thanks I do have a lot of goals I now have time to work on. I know this is the best thing for me...but I might reevaluate my situation when I graduate in December. I don't know. I am commiting to taking a break from working until Dec 11th though...and if I am content with my choices I will just keep going for my teaching credential and not work.

 

Aaaaahh the desperate pangs of nicotine withdrawal- I still remember them well. Stay strong with that. Without that addiction you'll have more money for other things- like celebrational drunks.

Your real friends will be there to support you. Fitzy gave some very sage advice about embracing failure. Too many people opt for the safe path and never find what they're really made of. Learn to cope gracefully when you fall down and you get very adept at picking yourself back up. I find myself admiring MUCH more someone who has dealt head on with adversity and persevered than someone who seems to have continually stumbled his way into fortune.

 

yeah, Chris is a really good friend of mine. I wish I could be more like him in ways.

I quit starbucks and cigarettes in the same week. I have just been running like crazy (literally) to keep all these thoughts and worries out of my head. When I run the only thing that's in my head is that song 'rain drops keep falling on my head'...everytime since high school

 

I'm on day five without a smoke. I keep reminding myself how bad it smells from an outside viewpoint...

I think you are going to be just fine lynsey, you have so much going for you.

I'm in the middle of all kinds of changes, & it's scary but good.

 

Thank you...you Alright here goes the end of my big paycheck and the begining of self-discovery.

Thank you for everything guys

 

Weird timing...the county wants me to come for a second interview for the social worker II position...I just hve to remember that there will be great jobs next year too...this is the per fect opportunity to finish school

We are considering your
candidacy and look foward to meeting with you.

 

lol. i'm still kinda chuckling over the fact that you were amazed by having to do your own nails. hehe. the only time i've had my nails done professionally was for my prom and my wedding. most times i just chew them off. occaisionally i'll paint what's left of them, usually a dark red/orange or something obnoxious.

 

Very well put

Our lives are not only marked by our achievements (graduating from High School, College, Marriage & Children) but how we overcome and cope with adversity - the standard by which all men should be judged.


Hotwater

 

hah I know it made me laugh too and that was the point that I realized oh shit I am a spoiled brat and need to snap the fuck outta this little world around me and in my head.

and ya know what...I think they cut your cuticles off just for fun...I did not cut my cuticles and my nails look better than when I get them done

 

Ok just an update. I am great now that things are over! I got more severance than I expected so I am going to go get my old personal cell phone activated and I realized on the way home...I never have to drive this 2 hour commute again!!! and ya know what else? I get to finally graduate school and for the first time in my life I have no one or nothing to worry about but me. This is fucking awesome. I love it so far...a 6 month paid vacation...sweet