Business Man on an Airplane

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Dark Party, Oct 28, 2006.

  1. Dark Party

    Dark Party Member

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    The girl I loved first had
    yellow hair, a funny nose, and
    unbridled optimism.
    She danced to the Doors, and
    her father once
    caught me with my hands
    under her shirt,
    Saturday Night Live on his TV.

    I made her cry when
    college came.

    The second girl I kissed
    at a bonfire,
    fireworks filling the night.
    Her eyes.
    My temper and tequila
    and frat parties
    killed what we had

    She left my heart in a ditch,
    wanting to die.

    The third one almost
    got away
    with my brother’s best friend.
    But I fought.
    When her lips touched mine,
    my heart healed.
    I married her by the ocean,
    in a cold drizzle.

    When we quarrel,
    I wish for the other two.
     
  2. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    I like this a lot. I can't quite put my finger on what it is that makes this seem so... real, but it's there and that's enough.
     
  3. Dark Party

    Dark Party Member

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    Thanks.


    The "heart in the ditch" part feels tired, but I've struggled with the wording.
     
  4. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    I see what you mean. Everything else is so straightforward, but there you get metaphorical.
     
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