Well ?? I mean I keep on hearing in documentaries that the manifestation of god on Earth had a shag with some women - but a lot of christians deny it - whats the truth - man of the world - or shagproof god?? Actually when I think about it I wonder why christians believe the sexual act is dirty filthy minded stuff ? some mistake on their behalf surely - for a religion that says it knows what love is - also christ wasnt married so if he did shag it was pure love was it? And if he didnt wet his whistle then we can realise christians know wht theyre on about in sexual matters?
FedupAmerican you know an awful lot about the bible were you brought up by your folks as a christian? I never knew that there were faggoty saussagefest references in the bible
And a dose of clap by the sound of it !!! So it could have been that rather than drinking from the hairy goblet he may have eaten beef on the bone
"Behold how he loved him!" (John 11:36) "It's fabulous," exulted Brian, my bearded gay friend. "I get to be Jesus at the Easter Fetish performance party. First I'm laid out on a pink marble slab, with only a wisp of loincloth about me. Then -- hallelujah! Resurrection!" "You're too short," I muttered. "I'd be better." (The best part I ever got in six Catholic pageants was Bartholomew, the geeky apostle.) "Oh stop," Brian continued. "Listen -- slowly, I rise, for my very favorite part: 12 handsome men -- the apostles -- march in and kiss me all over my body." "Why do you have to make everyone queer?" I blurted. "Last week you said Hillary was a dyke. This week you're homo Jesus." "Tsk-tsk. You're acting so straight." "I am straight." "I'm sorry, but ... Jesus was gay. He's been in the closet for 2,000 years. But now he's out and he's glorious. My performance is historically valid." "Brian, you didn't learn anything about Jesus at synagogue. I studied Biblical texts in grad school." "Jesus was a fag. Case closed. Get used to it." A pause. "I read it on the Web." "History isn't a computer-game fantasy, Brian. It's real." I stomped home. As a classics nerd -- I adore ancient alphabets, mysterious cuneiform, fragments of shriveled papyrus -- Brian's invert revisionism pissed me off. I'll destroy his queer notion, I decided -- I'll prove that he's wrong! I can translate the Bible from the original tongues, but -- I don't own a computer. "Hey, honey? Can you help me?" I begged my modem wife. "I need to research something on You-Hoo." "Yahoo!" She winced. "What is it?" "Brian says there's some dribble on his computer about Jesus being gay." My wife brachiated through files; she tapped in keywords. Her Mac box spewed horrible sounds, like a robot grinding its teeth ... Three entries fizzed into view. Two listings were irrelevant, and Mormon -- they've invaded cyberspace like it's the new Utah, have you noticed? "Click, click." I pointed at choice No. 3. My wife snapped open a posting, titled, "Was Jesus Gay? Missing Fragments from St. Mark's Gospel." We bumped heads, leaning forward together. Our eyes bulged. The text claimed that a scholar from Columbia University named Morton Smith found manuscript fragments in a monastery near Jerusalem in 1958 that were allegedly excised from the original Mark. The lost and found passage says: "The youth, looking upon him (Jesus), loved him and beseeched that he might remain with him ... they went into the house of the youth ... And after six days, Jesus instructed him and, in the evening, the youth came to him wearing a linen cloth over his naked body. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the Kingdom of God." "They did it!" giggled my wife. "It's not explicit," I said. "But it doesn't sound like my Confirmation." My wife's an ex-lesbian with the same "outing" fervor as Brian. She shrieked, "2,000 years of oppression! What hypocrites!" "Quiet!" I bellowed, clutching my throbbing skull. "Civilization is crashing in front of me -- I need to concentrate!" I pedaled my Schwinn to the library; I flung myself into the stacks. I know Dewey's decimal system like I know my own name -- I found Smith's thesis, "Secret Mark," in less than two minutes. The "evidence," I discovered, was less concrete than the Web site insinuated. Indeed, the path meandering from Morton's fragment to the original Gospel is so labyrinthine it would give Borges a wet dream. Follow this, if you dare: The "Secret Mark" passages are scribbles penned in the endpapers of a 17th century book. They're enclosed in a text that identifies itself as a copy of a letter sent from Clement of Alexandria (circa A.D. 185) to "Theodore." In the letter, Clement identifies "false passages" in the heretical Carpocratian Gospel of Mark. The all-nighter with the eager almost naked youth episode is authentic, claims Clement, because it's included in an expanded Markan Gospel that was revealed to advanced parishioners of the Alexandrine Church. As you untie this Gordian knot, you realize its plausibility has more holes than Peter's fishing net. Errors, rumor, innuendo and forgery have had 1,600 years to chew on the manuscript's veracity. Adding to the murk is the fact that only Morton Smith has seen the manuscript -- the monastery archives have been mysteriously closed ever since. I bicycled home, eager to telephone some theology wonks. I knew they'd be happy to leap into the bully pulpit in this New Testamental debate. First, Columbia University: the lair of the antichrist himself. "I'm sorry," said the secretary. "Morton Smith died in 1993." "Drat," I muttered. "The gadfly is gone." Next call: University of California-Berkeley's director of religious studies -- "This is Birger Pearson." His voice was lugubrious, weighed down by eons of knowledge. A bottomless, philosopher's groan, buried in the solitary search for Truth. "Is the Morton Smith discovery authentic?" I asked. "His position regarding the letter fragments has been entirely discredited in scholastic circles. And ... he had a vested interest in maintaining ... that position." "You mean ... Morton Smith was gay?" "Yes." "What about Jesus' sex life?" "That is something that cannot be absolutely known. It is a conundrum that will never be solved." "Yeah, but ... what's your guess?" "In Matthew 19:12, Jesus says, 'There will be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.'" "Yikes! You think Jesus was celibate?" "Yes." The next scholar I interviewed was Dr. Walter Wink, a member of the esteemed research contingent "The Jesus Seminar." His 11 books express his political concerns. For example, in "The Powers" trilogy he examines social institutions and the evil and good they perform. Wink also discredited Morton Smith's fragment, describing him as "a closeted gay -- due to his time period -- who became a bitter atheist. There's speculation that 'Secret Mark' was his way of getting revenge on the church." When queried about Christ's passion and lust, Wink proposed that "Jesus might have been like Ralph Nader, an individual with relentless drive who sublimated all his sexual desires because he was totally preoccupied with the Kingdom of Heaven." It began to dawn on me: Closeted Morton sees Jesus sleeping with youths, activist Walter regards him as Naderesque, contemplative Birgen embraces a celibate Messiah -- is Jesus just a mirror where we glimpse our idealized self?
I heard that he was originaly called "sue" and that a country and western singer wrote about him in a song called "a boy named sue"
YOUCH first time in a while I was nearly offended by a post. Harsh dudes. LOL Well, if you're a Christian and you think he's God it's easy to believe the virginity. Sure to us sex is the grooviest but to a Supreme Being? I'm guessing not a real big thing.
