Girls...

I don't know where this should go, and I'd like for this to stay in this forum considering it regards my abortion and BITCHY girls.

The girl I lived with for the last three months, has been my "best friend" for 14 years.... I ended up moving out because she was pretty much insane, and I couldn't deal with that kind of stress.

Anyway, I made a point to her that after I was out, that was it, and I didn't want anymore contact with her. However, she texted me about 8 times yesterday, badgering the fuck out of me...and she does this often.

Whatever, if she does it again I'm having her number blocked...

Today, I find out that just days after my abortion she was making fun of me, laughing about to everyone at work...while at this point and time she considered herself my "friend"--- I am so disgusted, and hurt, and pissed about it, and it's making me feel gross inside having sooo much negative energy towards her.

WHAT can I do to rid myself of this crappy frustration and irritation I have towards her? I know I am above this sort of childish crap, and I feel that if I let my emotions/frustration get the best of me, that I will fall down to her level.

I need advice, because I'm overly stressed about this and I don't WANT to be because I KNOW it's NOT WORTH IT.

 

thats the key. knowing it really isn't worth it. i know this is cliche' but it works...breathe. and i dont mean just breathe..i mean BREATHE to fill your lungs. people usually don't breathe enough to fill but just the tops of their lungs. so do that and it should help you relax and realize this isn't that big of an issue. 14 years of friend ship is a lot and this shouldn't erase all those years. girls love to gossip whether its about their enemies,or even their friends. she might have been pms'ing or having a stressful day...or she just might have been being sarcastic. who knows. but the point is its not a life and death situation (so thats good)...and ya'll have been friends for so long. now i can understand not wanting to live with someone cuz there is a huge difference in being someone's friend and actually living with them, but i wouldn't just break off 14 years like that. i mean theres probably more to this i don't know...but if she's still texting you either 1. she wants to get back at you for just ignoring you....or 2. she still wants to be your friend(which i think is more likely, whether or not she being bitchy about it or not). girls =drama. thats how it is. so communicate with her and try to get all of this resolved. personally i think 14 years is a lot to give up over a possible rumor of her talking about you

 

Take a deep breath.

Now, congratulate yourself for getting out while you did.

Good job woman. She sounds like a leech. You will be happy the further you put yourself from her. Keep digging for a few days love, and make plans for a good weekend without her. Try to get out and do something new, even if it's just a walk in the park.

 

PrincessJewel-- iknow it might seem that way, but i dont think its possible for me to explain all the things ive been through with her, IN that 14 years... i truly feel like it was foolish of me to forgive her so many times, because she has done so much time and time again.

its not just about the wrongs shes done to me, but its also the kind of person i am...im sorry i just cannot remain friends with someone who laughs at a child in a wheelchair (one of the things shes done)---

i dont need advice about what to do about her or myfriendship i need advice on how to not let it consume ME

 

wait a minute, she has been your friend for 14 yrs, and you never noticed how she laughed at a kid in a wheelchair, all of a sudden you do now?

Is this wheelchair incident something that happened yesterday? few months ago? years ago?

hmm I wonder why she is texting you so much... it could be that she is insane , in that case you should call the appropriate services or it could be that she really wants to talk to you either to apologize or save the 14 yrs of friendship.

 

Anyway, if you don't want advice about her and don't want it to consume you, then please go do something good for yourself, go eat some ice-cream, courtesy of Jedi , or go get yourself a new outfit and forget about what is happening with your cell phone. At night , go rent and watch a horror movie , so that you won't think about her all night instead you can think about the ghosts that might eat you up at night.

 

She's obvious a worthless person and a worthless friend. The only thing you can do is forgive and forget and move on. This was her loss....as you're a great person, or so you seem on here.
That's really the only thing I can suggest as I've never been through something like that.
Love and light.

 

I've had a few "freinds" like this. I always feel bad because I think that I "should have known" that they had a screw loose. But, really, it isn't your or my fault, or any other dumped on freind, when people turn on you.

You did the right thing. Ending a freindship, even if you KNOW it was the best thing, is like a divorce, you rethink it, you wonder if you did the right thing, you might attempt a "reconciliation" and it is all for naught.

If she couldn't accept your decision that YOU KNEW was the best thing for you, screw her. You are worth better friends than that.

Blessings, sister. You've been through enough. I know it's hard, but when we go through our darkest times, we find out who the REAL friends are. We are sometimes surprised.

Take care or yourself.

 

I don't know... I guess because we had been friends for so long, I never realized how cruel she could be... it was also one of those things, that I didn't see not living with her. When I moved in with her, I started really seeing her true colors if that makes any sense. Usually she wouldn't do that kind of stuff around me when we just hung out, but when we lived together, she was herself, and I didn't like what I saw.

She constantly bashed homosexuals, made comments about people with eating disorders, when she knows I have one, and was really mean about it...

Anyone who was friends with me besides her was a "lesbian" because I think she felt threatened that I cared for others too.

Like i said its a lot to explain in one thing here.... I could go on for hours ... but, the point is, I think I can make a good decision on whether or not shes a good friend/person, and I can see she's not...

I honestly am not upset about not being friends after 14 years...I know that these things happen growing up and stuff... it's life.

I'm just finding it hard not to be so angry with her, even though I know there's no point to it. I'm really pissed about her joking about my abortion, and I feel a lot of anger towards that...but I know its not worth it either and its bothering me that no matter what I know, I cant seem to get rid of this anger.

 

Wow. Making public jokes about something so personal is nothing that a friend would ever do. She seems to have really low self-esteem and takes it out on everyone else, even her closest friend. Mocking sexuality is one of my deepest peeves, and her mocking your eating disorder and abortion is more than I could handle.

And I know how you can be friends with someone for years and not truly know them. And her texting you is probably her way of trying to hang on to the only friend she has. And being angry with her is inevitable. Let yourself be angry, but take it out on things you like to do. If you paint, for example, just do that whenever you're feeling really pissed. Me, I write.

Just don't try to notbe angry, because that's unreasonable. You're going to be pissed at her so you might as well use the anger to be productive.

 

thanks, dances in pajamas... i have been doing quite a lot of painting lately, and it helps a lot.

i guess the reason i keep looking for ways to not be angry is because im honestly not used to being angry! it doesnt happen often and when it does it feels GROSS.

 

I really think that you should give yourself some time to be angry. Yeah, don't try to get rid of it all in one sitting.

 

Go ahead. Hate her with a deep and abiding passion. She isn't worth the effort it would take to properly tell her off.
Now that your mind is right, you can live your life and your deep abiding hatred for this bitch (you know that both her's and her mother's boobs are fake) will become part of your background rather then the foreground emotion that it currently is.

 

I wanted to update and say I have come to peace with the situation.

I am not, and will not be friends with her again, but I don't feel angry or wish her harm anymore. its a good feeling.

 

Good; glad to hear that you're feeling better about the situation.

 

Hey hun,
Don't worry about her. Easier said than done, I know...but you shouldn't surround yourself around negative people, so be happy that your life is free of negative vibes. I like to kill 'em with kindness. You could try that path?
Alicia <3

 

darlin im so glad to hear your at peace with the situation time has a way of healing things, dont it?

youre better off without her, i know cutting her loose was something way easier said than done considering your history. glad your feeling better

 

Congratulations!

 

Thanks everyone.

I can honestly say this is the first time I have experienced something this complex with another person though; usually I just always end up forgiving, and going through the same thing all over again.

But there's a lot more to this; I forgive her, but not in the sense that I will set myself up to be hurt again. I hope she's happy in her life, and I hope that someone else can have a better friendship with her than I did, sincerely. Yet, I don't blame myself for what happened.

growing up like this, being 20 and going through a gajillion changes at once, makes me feel so naive sometimes.

 

I know exactly what you mean. I had a friend exactly like this, she was my friend from age 5-21 Is that 16 years? And I should have dropped her at the very least 3 years before that, but most of my life I didn't see the drama, I only see it now looking back on it. The last few years I didn't drop her because everyone kept reminding me of how long we've known each other, it really doesn't matter.

I don't know how to help you stop it from consuming you, except to say that you're life will be without a lot of drama without her, and for that you should be happy. Go do things that make you happy she's not with you! And hang out with nicer people.