do you think they'll fire me?

ok, so i have posted some about working at the animal shelter. i started out as a volunteer, and last week, they hired me to work monday through friday, in the afternoon. i do all kinds of things...feed, walk, administer medicine, help with adoptions, etc etc. everything was going great until 2 days ago, when i had to help euthanize an animal for the first time. up until then, i was unaware that i would be expected to help put the animals down.no one ever told me. basically, my job is to go get the animal, bring it to the exam room, hold it down while it gets the injection, clean up the inevitable mess, put the animal in a trashbag, and put the trashbag in the freezer.all the vet actually does is administer the shot, and make sure the heart has stopped. so yesterday we put down 9 more animals, including a whole litter of tiny feral kittens.
it's too terrible and cold, and it isn't nearly as humane as it sounds. the animals don't always die right away, and they cry.
i have had trouble sleeping and nightmares for the past 2 days, and i have also spent the better part of the past two days crying.
i know that it has to be done, and in theory, i can agree with all the reasoning behind it. but i can't do it. there's no way i can do this every day.my husband and my mom said maybe i should quit, and go back to just being a volunteer, since they don't expect volunteers to do things like that. i don't really want to quit, and i know that it would really be a hardship for everyone if i did, since we are so shorthanded. so i'm thinking about telling the director that i like my job and i do want to keep it, but that i cannot take part in euthanizing the animals. do you think she'll work with me, or tell me to hit the road?

what would you do?

 

My heart breaks for you. I give you big CHEERS for even considering staying especially knowing that has to be done there. (maybe not the way they do it )

I think you should do exactly what you suggested. Talk to your boss and see if they will work with you.

I give you another CHEERS for having the love for the animals that you do.

Will you let us know how it turns out for you?

In the meantime I am sending you a big hug

 

peanut, thanks for the support. i'm hoping that they don't think i am being overly dramatic. i thought i would be able to do it, but i see now that it is just too much. i feel as if i am betraying the animals. they think you are getting them out of the cage to take them for a walk, or play with them. they wag their tails all the way to the exam room.

i will let you know what ends up happening. i am trying to get up the nerve to talk to the director today, before i clock in. i know of at least one sick dog that is going to be put down today, and i don't want to take part in it...

 

I don't think your being overly dramatic AT ALL! I think your heart sounds huge and I have a lot of admiration for that.

Thinking about the position you are in chokes me up and I am not even there having to see it all.

If it was me, I would say a prayer before I talked to the Director.

If you did not know that was part of the job then I would tell them that. Share your heart like you did here this morning. They just might surprise you for the good.

I wish you well.

 

Say your a buddhist and youre against harming animals. They cant fire you either can they since that would be like religious descrimination?

 

well, it turned out ok. the director said she didn't know that i had had to help put down 9 animals in one day. she said she wouldn't expect anyone to do that. she said if i couldn't do it, she understood.


the kennel manager (my immediate supervisor,) was generally ok with it also, although i did have to agree to help out if there was an emergency, and no one else could assist. i guess i can handle that.

i'm so glad i spoke up, for a change. i feel like a huge wieght has been lifted.

 

I think that is great. I am happy for you that you spoke up and your happy with the outcome.

 

For what its worth I think you did the right thing.Working at an animal shelter is a very admirable job, but you can't stretch yourself to breaking point every day. Its great that they respected your decision and your family obviously cares about you a lot.