A letter from Santa to the world

Due the the recent events with high fuel prices, the war, the lack of interest in the true holiday spirit and George Bush not allowing me to enter the country due to the new 911 policies I shall not be allowed to make my rounds this year.

Please eat my milk and cookies and then deposit the processed goods into an envelope and mail it to the whitehouse.

 

What would Santa give President Bush for this Christmas?

 

Maybe Santa's boots up his ass but likely that would be enjoyed too much by Bush. Could give him Tammy Faye Baker for a wife, that would be hell on earth.

 

Good one! Can I share this with my friends. It would make a great ecard.

 

I call BOGUS!! This letter is NOT from Santa Claus. Santa is a merry old elf, who flies high above the foolisheness of us mortals. No action by the government or corporations can prevent him from keeping his commitment to the children of the world.

Fuel prices do not affect Santa or his reindeer. All he needs is the magic dust. A little bit for the reindeer, a little bit for Santa Claus (a little bit more for Santa Clause) and he will be on his way.

This letter obviously originated in the marketing department of some multi-national corp, hoping to panic parents. Not wanting their kids to be disappointed on Chirstmas, these parents are invited to buy corporate junk toys in the (futile) hope that those would be a satisfactory replacement for real X-mas presents.

 

Tell me is the title Santa Claws taken?

 

I once knew a polar bear. The poor fellow got stuck on an ice flow which floated south, melting with every mile. After a month, he saw a shoreline (it turned out to be in Nova Scotia) and swam ashore. Over the next few weeks he stayed on the beach, fishing and regaining weight. The local press called him Sandy Claws.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. A sandy tongue means my family is broke.