Kind of an embarrassing question... BUT... I'm going to be having anal sex for the first time soon and I'm nervous about it. I'm nervous about the pain, yes, but mostly about my ass... I'm afraid things may get "messy." I would be so embarrassed if my guy's dick had like, shit on it or something. I know me thinking about this and being all worried will make it a lot harder because I won't be able to relax and enjoy it. Does anyone have any tips, other than an enema (I've been told those help)?
Having never engaged in anal, I'll just pass on some other information I've heard. Have him wear a condom. It helps with any mess later on. Condoms are wonderful things. Do not be afraid of lube. Use lots and lots of it. Keep a towel handy if need be, and a little water if you're using water-based lube (since you can rewet the lube and it regains a lot of its slipperiness). Go SLOWLY, don't be afraid to back off and start again later. Start with fingers not a whole cock. and it's ok if you don't like it either.
i personally never had anal sex with someone i was embarassed to have see my shit. if the thought embarasses you, then why let him go where shit originates? just a thought. what does he/you think he will find up there? Elves dancing a jig?
watch out for elves!!!! but seruisly start with just a fingertip just as your starting to cum try that quite a few times till u can handle a full finger all the way in then u can try more..only if your confy dont try just jumping into anal untill your confy with a finger there while having sex a finger during orgasm can really make the orgasms stronger..& will help u get more used to it..& be alot more relaxed when the time comes for full on anal id never try anal without trying that for at least a week or 2 &..it takes trust...& willingness by both take your time..& dance with the elves awhile 1st
Just the both of you have to open your mind. You are right and in the intercouse with anal sex you could find something that it isn´t possible to find with a vagina penetration. That´s logic. But the question should be: what´s the problem?. Sometimes and we do anal sex very often maybe i found something in one of my fingers or on my penis but it didn´t bother me at all. I just take a piece of paper if i prevented that and nothing was happen. The game is not over for that little accident. This is the point. In other words in many ways we have to be matures if we want to enjoy anal sex. The enema is a good tip to prevent what is concerning you. My gf use it if she feel that somehing like that can be occur. But just occasionaly.
I have had anal sex alot in my life, prolly hundreds of times & in all that fun, only twice did the girl poop a lil. Girls for the most part are are pretty clean in there, i have used enemas on them, some fingering first will let you know if there is anything lingering in there, so once in a while after fingering a girl's butt for a bit, i have had to ask her to go sit on the potty so so i could fuck her ass after, when she was cleaned out.
If you go poo about an hour or two before sex you won't have to worry about a mess. Also I suggest purchasing a small butt plug to stretch you out first and go SLOW. Nothing kills the mood like your guy getting too excited and ramming something in there. My wife was very nervous the first time, but we took it super slow and she found out she loves it. Another point; the more often you do it, the better it feels, but your man should thrust gently or you could get hemroids.
I dont use condoms for anal, I always use the bathroom before anal, shower, and I am good to go, lube is a must though.
Good luck, me and my boyfriend are planning to try anal tonight, so the advice from your thread was helpful.
I actually was trying to try anal for the first time today... I did it for the first time a couple years ago it hurt but I got used to it but it hasn't happened since... now that I am trying again it hurts alot, we used a condom lots of lube and took it really slow.... he got in almost all the way after a couple trys but I told him to pull out cause it hurt... would it be easier if he was moving a little bit with light thrusting??? Cause he wasn't moving at all cause he was concerned about me. Does ass fingering daily actually help you build up dialation to do it within a week??? He really wants to do this and I am curious and want to mix things up a bit so if there is anymore tip OMG they would be so appreciated
Well. something you were doing wrong. First of all, did you relax your anus?, were you mentalize to receive his penis?. It is almost the most important thing besides the lubrication you have tu use. Once he get inside following with a circular move. He has to go a bit at a time. Certainly, you have not the obligation to get all of his penis in your ass, and worst, fast !! but he has to penetrate you with moving, other wise, so?? until ever you feel confortable without pain. Take pause. And then he can start taking the rithm slowly. In and out. Until you begin to feel pleasure, then you, and only you have to tell him if he can go forward into your rectum with more entusiasm. Increasing his rithm, i mean. Don`t forget that also you can go backward against his penis searching until you feel good. If you begin to feel pain, just stop. Something is wrong again. The secret is, take your time !!. Be patient !. You have to relax thinking than you have to let his penis go into your rectum. Well, the cause of the dilatation of your anus is also proportional as how much you could turn on. With the fingers what you can do is not much more that learning your anus to accept his penis. I mean to feel an object up your anus. At least that you`ll do exercises or masturbing with others objects like dildos. With them you`ll achieve to prepare a better dilatation. I hope that what i wrote will be helpfull to you. Good luck !!. And with my Engligh double luck...jeje
The essential thing for my wife is prepairing her with a butt plug slightly smaller than my penis. We've been doing anal for over a year and only recently has she been able to take me in her rear without preperation. Go to a sex shop with your man and find the right butt plug together, that in itself is a big turn-on for some hot anal sex. Also use only THICK water based lubes, the thicker the better. Astroglide is too thin by the way, it just dosn't work. Thick, heavy lubes also last longer.
well.. i always go to the bathroom first to make sure everything is how its suppose to be before i have sex. I had my first anal the other night it hurt sooo bad.I do like a lil bit of pain during sex but i almost cryed. i only lasted about 5 mins and told em to take it out. I really wish he had some lube or somthin maybe it would have made it a lil better. 3 days later Im still sore.
Well, the absolute most important thing is for the woman to learn to relax her anus. You girls, yes you too happy_kel, should begin by being very comfortable with just a finger in you. Then, find an object, or a sex toy that is just a hair bigger. Then, once again, find something that was just bigger than the toy before. Do this for a few days, heck, a couple of weeks. Once the object is in, squeeze, then relax. Focus on the relaxing. Then move it in and out gradually working up to the pace of sex. Keep doing this till you can take an object just larger than his penis. Then, you should be comfortable taking his penis in when the time comes. Also, every time you plan to have anal sex with your guy, you need him or you to open you up a bit, one finger at a time.....or with a toy, very gradually and slowly over many minutes. In time, you will one day be able to lube up his cock, your ass, and take him inside of you right from the beggining with no fingering, or not much fingering. This will take lots of time. That bring us to LUBE. You must use lots of lube. happy_kel, not having lube must have really hurt. This increases risk. You must use lube. Oil based lubes tend to work best for anal sex. Water based ones may dry up. (Oil based ones break down condoms though). For a really cheap and safe lube, used vegetable shortening. The one that is like butter in a large can that sits at room temperature. You can warm up toys by soaking them in warm water also. To clean out for anal sex, an enema is best. I you don't want to buy an enema bag and set up. Try using a douche bottle. Douche your ass out with warm water a few times. Some women may find that just "using the bathroom first" works. If you do this, you may want to check yourself with a couple of fingers while on the toilet to be sure that all has passed out of you. This is still not the best way, because some more poop may be just above waiting to move lower. You must bear down hard when checking. This would be ok later after you're very comfortable with anal. Use a douche or something simliar with warm water first. As for the mess, you probably won't see poop, especially if you clean out well. Walk around the house.......then clean out again no sooner than 10 minutes... This gets all of it out. Do this before you even get cuddly and romantic with your partner. Even if you do see mess, it should just be a very tad bit, or brown colored lube or water, not pure poop. This may happen, but doesn't happen often. You just need to expect it mentally. The position will matter also. Don't be riding him in the begining. Keep your shoulders low and ass up......gravity will keep things inside more and your bowels won't naturally push things out as much. Lying on your back would work also......just don't ride cowgirl or reverse cowgirl till you are comfortable with all aspects of anal. Anal takes lots of patience in the beginning. Go slow, and gradually work up to taking thicker objects in your ass. That's it in a nutshell.
At first it will be painful without lube. personally I suggest using vaseline for lube. It is wonderful stuff and costs less. Has 1000 uses. After five minutes, you won't feel anything. THe more you do it, the more stretchy the anus becomes. It begins to loose tension. Pain is close to pleasure anyway.
Bad first experience, I am sorry to hear that. Hope you are willing to try again sometime with a lot of lube. It might be harder to relax after this time though....