I'm selling out

Hey guys. I figured this would be the best place to put this. I have sadly, or maybe not so sadly, come to the conclusion, that I have to basically stop being a hippie. I have found that while this lifestyle calls me, it doesn't call my husband. 2 married people living 2 totally different lifestyles causes problems. For instance, why spend $150 at Earthfare, when we can go to Bilo and spend $100. To me, the answer is plain. I can't be a hippie anymore. I constantly live in guilt. Guilt about what I eat, guilt about what I wear. I feel completly rejected from everyone I know. I have nothing in common with anyone I know. If I wasn't married, I'd certainly buy me a one way plane ticket to somewhere that soaring eagle was, because I know he could help me with my deeply personal issues about my place in a not so hip society. But this is not where I am. My hubby's going to school to be a teacher. I wanted us to have time to spend in the woods together . But no, it's always school and work. Yet I can't have a baby right now, because he wants there to be time for us. At least if I had a baby, I would have some other living, breathing human that didn't dispise me for my "weird" beliefs. And if I'd rather drive 40 miles out of the way than go to wal-mart, at least that baby wouldn't question me. Maybe I could even teach them by example. Either way, I am losing hope, and silly as it sounds, I've nearly killed myself over this. So....I am becoming one of those who I so dispise. I've combed out my dreadlocks ( 2 days old they were), put away my hip clothes, and made a grocery list for what I can pick up at walmart this week. Now, I'm off to take the curlers out of my hair, replace my patchouli with ralph lauren, and make the rest of the world accept me.

 

If you care so much about what the world thinks..

Why'd you worry so much about being hip anyway? Be yourself. I, personally, give a fuck less what people think of me. That's why I still browse this forum.

It's not gonna hurt you cause you stereotyped yourself. If your husband can't understand it, than is he really your husband? Or just some dude to call your husband?

 

EarthyGirl... when someone tell me something bad about my dresses or my lifestyle, i answer "What do you want? I can do everything i want!"

DON'T DO THIS, please!
Listen to me, flowerchild!

Think Different. Be yourself.
Give a fuck less what people think of you.

Think about it, sister. Or change husband

 

Nevermind what I was going to say here...edited

 

Wow this is really sad. I sense more than a taste of desperation here. I see that you are from the state of S Carolina. What a tough place to be a hippie! I think when people make these big sweeping decisions about who they are going to be so they can fit in and be"happy" is a very dangerous situation. If the guy you married has no sympathy for who you really are I have to seriously question this relationship. Look: divorce is not the end of the world. Many people do it and survive. Sure it is tough for a while. Just thank God you don't have children to fight over. You are still young. You can build a new life where there are more people like you. There are lots of these places. S Carolina is not one of them. If you sell YOURSELF out(and I don't just mean the hippie movement), you will regret it for the rest of your life so what have you gained? You will also resent the people around you and you cannot hide differences of character with clothes and lifestyles and all that bullshit so you'll never really fit in. This is a prescription for madness and will not exempt you from thoughts of suicide if you are already having these. Break on through girl. You can do it. Get yourself FREE! We're with you. PM me. I'm here for ya. There's enough mindless geeks in the world. Don't let your beautiful self become one of them.

 

can you give up all thats important toyou in favor of whats important to him? if so, your giving up ypur self..what of himself has he given up for you and your ifestyle and dreams
if a relAtionship is to work doesnt it have to satisfy both? can it work if 1 feels imprisoned by it?..im not saying run for the hills and get away fom him or anything, but im saying that you being you is all you have..if you cant be yourself ..what do u got? going through the motions pretending to be lil miss yuppy?

ask him..does he want a hollow empty IMAGE of a good lil yuppy wife whoi never says or does anything to ever upset anyone...or does he want you..the real you..with ideas and hopes and opinions..sure they may challange his, but isnt that better then just yes dear yes dear yes dear..ofcourse you know whats best for me dear..i was so silly to ever think i could think for myself dear..

 

there's many different levels to being a hippy so don't worry if you can't be at level 9... btw, i'm a level 3

 

not to mention...a lifetime to be a hippy
sometimes ya gotta be a level 3 a few years while u plan the transition to level 9

 

so true soaringeagle... even if you can't be any level but just imagine yourself being a hippie and loving everyone is great

 

exactly..its not what you wear or where you shop, but what you feel in your heart

 

... or imagine in your head.... there's no question of an open heart if you're close minded

 

I loved reading what you all posted. I have another shot of hope. I'll just be a level 3 for a while. And right now, I'm ok with that. Thank you all so much, you have no idea how much I appreciate you.

 

yuhhuu might be sellin, but Ih aint buyin.

 

well ya get a level 7.5 hug!!!!

 

do whatever makes you happy, not what makes other people happy. hippie is just a label anyway and anybody who labels themself that is an idiot and probably not a real hippie at all...

 

ok, this may sound like a really dumb question, but what are u talking about level 3, level 9 etc. i dont understand it...

 

I suppose they are discussing different levels of hippydome. I suppose level 9 could indicate a higher level of commitment. Level 3 shares the same ideals but is not so commited. I suppose a level 9 would be much more likely to dress in a more typical hippy fashion.
Anyhow, I don't think that dressing llike a hippy matters anyway. I have very short hair and do not even own hippy clothes anymore. However, my opinions and ideals have not changed. It is actually easier to have a positive effect on people when they don't prejudge you & automatically discount your opinion. I sneak up on them and begin rubbing off on them before they even know what hit them.

 

for instance, jimmy buffet is level two

 

lol...jimmy buffet is a level 1.5...maybe. don't get me wrong, i do like him. at least he's got a little in him. lol

but yet again, i'm so quickly losing hope. i swear, i just can't do it. my uniqueness used to be the thing that i loved the most. now it seems to be ruining my life.