Take the bone off a porkchop...microwave the chop until it's slightly warm. Wrap it around ya and go to town Big Boy.
How old are you? How long have you been masturbating? Do you prefer porn or imagination? Why are you........ You see, an eighty year old asking your question would require a different answer than if you are 13. Jeesh!
take a lightbulb out of a lamp stick the head into the lightsocket start jerkin...just as ya cum..flip the switch zzzzzzaaaapp now thats fun kids..don't try this at home i will not be held responcible for anyone dumb enough to actualy try this
Check out "Advanced masturbation" - 40+ different techniques demonstrated. Also, try olive oil - very smooth on your skin (although messy) and good for your skin.
