I've heard people say this frequently, but I was reading another post earlier and someone had mentioned being in love with the 'idea of a person' and I started thinking about the meaning behind it. I guess it varies on a personal level, but what does this mean to you? How can you tell if you are truly in love with a person or if you are just in love with the idea of that person?
I have been deeply in love once with a man I was with for 3 years. For me atleast, Love isnt something that can really be defined...I think it takes alot of time.....but it's something that I just knew. I knew I was going to fall in love with him and I knew I was in love him 3 years later when we broke up. For me it was less "magical" so to speak, and more deep and real. It had less to with how he made me giddy and smiley and more to do with a knowing and understanding of each other....more of a bond that we had that grew in 3 years together. I dunno, I dont think love can be defined in one way....Im sure it means different things to everyone.
the whole idea of love or being in love with someone is rather complicated. i'm sure this will turn into a long thread of each idea of its own. love is complicated but i must say that it's probably the best and worst feeling in the world. it's one of those things are that are unexplainable. yet when asking someone in a relationship or just getting out of a relationship in which love was found at that time, you will get different answers. sometimes, i believe that people are in love with the idea of a person that they think of often or whom they first fell in love with but then that person becomes indifferent than that idea. just like people in abuse relationships, they are in love but to us, we find it impossible, so it all varies. who knows if i'm even making sense. but ever-lasting love is like the first time you felt it over and over again but with the same exact person, now that's amazing and true love. but then you will just get in the arguement on what true love really is. i think i shall stop and who knows if i really answered your question. ramblings mostly, sorry.
I agree with both of you on different levels. And I know this is a hard question to answer, seeing as though everyone has a different idea of love and what it means, etc.. I guess I was just wondering about people saying they are in love with the idea of a person.. I mean, I have often found myself thinking that also. It just seems like a fine line sometimes, ya know? Like for example let's say that you meet the most absolutely perfect person for you. And you feel something for them that you have never felt before.. and you start to believe that you are in love with the person.. Couldn't it just be that you are in love with the idea of this person because you have never met anyone who matched what you wanted so well? Ahh, I don't know.. I don't even know if this makes sense to anyone else. Maybe I'm just crazy, hah..
I think to really 'love' a person and not just the 'idea of a person,' you need time to really get to know that person, but not only that, you also need time to get to know yourself 'with' that person, because being in a relationship changes both you and your partner. Love is something that grows between two people over... time. The love a person has for another will always be unique to them, because we are all inherently unique, as such the love between any two people will also be unique. To really be 'in love' with a person I am not so sure about, being that most folks often fall 'head over heals' really before they know the in's and out's of that person, and as such perhaps most people do fall 'in love' with the 'idea of a person' rather than the person themselves. Does that make the emotion any less real, of course not, if you feel it, then it's there, then it's real. After all reality can only ever be what you perceive it to be. In any event a 'deeper love' usually replaces the 'giddy love' that most of us would equate to being 'in love', however that does not necessarily mean that we are no longer 'in love' with the 'real' person, just that the love has grown, deepened and blossomed to a point where it masks the initial 'buzz' with something much more subtle yet often far more beautiful.
i know what you mean, i fell in love wit' me best friend and she felt i was in love with the idea of her...or how i saw her, not how she saw herself...and i think at the time she was right, but then i saw her flaws and who she really was and not just who i wanted her to be, but my feelings never changed...so i was in love with the idea, and with her.... well, perhaps not even, maybe i was infatuated with the idea, and in love with her....at anyrate, it doenst matter as we'll always be just friends.
I've heard people say this frequently, but I was reading another post earlier and someone had mentioned being in love with the 'idea of a person' and I started thinking about the meaning behind it. I guess it varies on a personal level, but what does this mean to you? How can you tell if you are truly in love with a person or if you are just in love with the idea of that person? __________________ I am not sure I have ever been in love with the "idea of that person" but I have heard those say that some are in love with the idea of being "in love" if that makes sense... I have been truely in love once in my life... it was amazing... I was 24 at the time he was much older and we had the perfect relationship.... and I became pregnant... and needless to say he wasnt wanting to be a father again so he left... That has been over 10 years ago now and I still miss that kind of love.... I dont necessarily miss him... but I miss being in love.... There is a BIG difference in loving someone and being "in love" Love has many different levels and is amazing if your lucky enough to find and stay with the one!!! I still believe in that kind of love and will continue to look for again.... and I wont stop till I do find it... The main thing is to be true to yourself and believe it will come and it does... and if by chance it leaves.... Just learn from it and move on.... We all deserve to be happy...
Thanks for replying everyone! Shakra, everything you said really made sense to me. That helped me a great deal, thanks.
