How would you feel about dating a single mom?

Hi guys! I have a question for you. I'm soon to be divorced and I have a son who is almost 2. I'm worried about dating again. I won't be able to have late nights or spend the night somewhere, with the exception of every other weekend when my son is at his dad's.

Would you guys have any problem dating a single mom? Do you think it would be difficult to be a dad to her child if things got serious? Would it bother you that your time with her has to work around her time with her child?

 

While I'm not a man, I was raised by a single father and saw some of the issues he went through in dating single moms.

I think a big factor, at least when you get to the point of getting serious, is going to be how you act as the middle person. My dad dated one woman who would defend her children when they were being completely out of line... I know, that's worded poorly, but, for example, if dad asked one of the kids to do something completely reasonable ("it's your turn to do the dishes" level of request) and the kid responded with either "yeah whatever" or "you're not my dad", dad's girlfriend would be like "oh, he's just in a mood" instead of telling the kid that she expects him to respect the man of the house and go do the damn dishes. No man in his right mind is going to put up with being treated like that.

On the other hand, dad has dated women who seemed like they were out on a hunt to find a new daddy for their kids... Trying to move way to fast to get someone in there to play a stable role in the household, while he wanted to take some time to see whether he was compatible with the woman.

Also, I think that, for a lot of men, their hypothetical response to this sort of question is quite different from how they actually wind up acting when they meet a woman that they really click with. So, regardless of the answers you get here, don't feel daunted -- there are plenty of good men out there who are happy to date a single mom, as long as you're willing to work with their visitation arrangements with their own kids! Probably quite a few will be a bit skittish early on, particularly due to stories of situations like I mentioned above that my dad went through, but it's probably for the best for the kid to move slowly anyway!

 

i'd have no probs with it at all

i like kids

 

If you date a nice man you find compatible and he respects and likes you and your son,there shouldn't be too many problems,given that he's only two.For sure,it's more difficult to find "you"time.I was a single dad(still am,but they're grown)and I just gave up tryin' to find anyone.But I was much older than you when we split.There are some good ones out there---just watch closely how they relate to your son.You should be able to tell immediately wether they are worth foolin' with.

 

I am a single father and live full time with my two girls ages 4 and 3 and I dont have a problem dating single moms I actually enjoy it because that just means we have more in common.

 

I wouldn't, personally.

 

I know this is probably only for the guys...But I wouldnt mind dating a single mother...I love babies !!!

 

I think it takes a special kind of man to date a single woman.
My stepdad did it and I'm thankful for him everyday of my life. I hated him at first....but he was fresh after my parents divorce.

I'd say that if you are going to date again, be sure that you keep your son from knowing him and attatching himself to him unless you know for sure it's going to be a serious kind of thing. My uncle has introduced so many women into my cousins (6 years old) life and she gets attatched and then he dumps them. It tears her apart.

 

Don't sweat it. You are only narrowing out immature people that you wouldn't want to date anyway.

 

all i can say is tell the man upfront. within 5 minutes of the conversation, or not long after. some will have a problem with it others wont.

 

I think there is alot of truth in this - I went naievely into a relationship with a mother of two children a boy 11,a girl 14,thinking that there would be no pressure to form any kind of bond with them and that my main interest was in their mother.I was hoping that I'd remain as being just her lover - but then I found out life just isnt like that.Unfortunately since the break up of her marriage she'd had a string of violent relationships with men who to some extent had made the children extremely insecure.To begin with things were ok because I was mainly just there to be supportive to their mother - we'd always have alot of fun and for her - being the fighter she was,I guess our meeting was a welcome break.But it did gradually begin to dawn on me - the importance of priority.The children must always come first and that was a hard lesson for me to learn - not being a parent it is quite difficult to comprehend.Mostly after I met her two children - we'd just go out to places and have pleasant days out - castles,disneyland,walks in the woods etc and everyone was happy.The problems only began one christmas when they went to visit their father and didn't come back for a year.Their mom kind of slightly fell apart which is understandable as there was no explanation for them not coming back.I felt some pressure then to be more supportive and ended up moving in.And I think that was a mistake on my part - because from that time on there was no space between us and I kind of got swept into all her problems rather than being someone with an outside point of view.The kids did evntually move back - cos they'd lived with her all their life,and I think living with their father was something they just had to try.There was never any hard feelings between me and the children,and it wasn't really until we split up that I realised later that year that I wasn't just missing one person - it was three people,and it had certainly taught me alot about relationships.For sure though,I'd say that if you love a single mom,you must be prepared for responsibilty and know when to remain passive.But for sure - it can be complex.On the other hand I know plenty of families with new partners that are very happy.My sis for one is now married to another woman and has two kids - they couldn't be happier - the children are doing well at school and always alot of fun

Horses for courses.whatever that means!

 

I have dated a few single mothers while I was a single father and I married one and went on to have several kids together. If you think being a parent is a tough job try being a step parent. It is a tough place to be when you are becoming serious about the woman and trying to figure out where and how you stand as the male adult figure in a blended family. If the father is completely absent it seems easier to find your spot as an adult authority figure, but in that situation I've found the mother more apt to put pressure on the man to fill the "father" position.

In any case care should be taken in becoming attached to a child and having the child attached to you. As Rg Paddle said to have repeated partners come and go isn't good for a child.

 

I'm a chick, but I wouldnt have a problem with it,

 

I know I focused a little bit towards guys in my original post, but it's not meant to be geared entirely towards guys. *hint, hint, nudge, nudge*

 

I don't want kid's at the moment, so I would not date a single mum. If I wanted kids, it wouldn't bother me. Depends on the guy.

 

I am a single mom and I just divorced a dad with two children and I am not sure I will date any men with children anymore. Being a stepparent is so hard, especially when the kids are older and have been raised differently than the way you want to raise your child. I hate to say that because I am almost discriminating against myself, but its such a difficult situation.

 

I don't mind dating a single mom. Actually, I've noticed that I'm attracted to women that appear to be good mothers. Maybe I tend to trust them more as they appear to be caring. Also, I've noticed that single moms tend to be down to earth. Trying times have caused them to seek their heart.

 

They are called blended families, and they can be difficult, especially with older children as you have mentioned. I don't know this from experience, but I've listen to an expert talk about it, if that counts for anything?

 

I dated a single mom for a little while, it was a blast. Wasn't always easy, but what relationship is?! She was probably one of the most mature and down-to-earth people I have evered been with.

So yea, I would totally date a single momma.