Why is it that when someone cheats you feel like you have to know every detail even though it is so painful? Does it somehow help you get over it? Is it better than not talking about it at all? Or does it only pour salt on the wound?
If my partner cheated on me...I wouldn't want to know anything. It does no good and ends up haunting you. Period.
I think it is human nature to want to know everything, especially after in comes to light that something is going on behind your back. I don't think it really helps you to get over it. Not talking about it just makes the resentment build up inside you. I don't think anything really helps you to get over it, that is why cheating is so looked down upon.
That's odd I wouldn't want to know anything about it. You just gotta make a choice either you can't forgive him and you never interact with him again or you forgive everything and never bring it up again. If you can't do the later it's not fair to be with him-for you or him. sorry ): (hugs)
I really don't know why you'd want to know everything. Perhaps some sort of validatioin that if they didn't do this and that and the other that it's not as bad as something else (sex as opposed to kissing, or whatever), to see if they have a shred of respect for you left, maybe, or because you are appalled that something was hidden from you, so when it is discovered, you want to know every detail.
for me (its happened) i really wanted to know what she was thinking when it happened. I like to think about every angle of it and before i make any decisions about it, i want to know the details. Also like gypsy_girl said, since something was hiddin from you once its really important at least to me, that they make sure that now you actually KNOW. It would be even worse if after they hid it in the first place and then hid something from you even after admitting to it.
yea I agree with that. i guess i'm just that kind of person. i feel like if i didn't know exactly what happened i could never get over it because all those little questions would keep popping into my head. and i feel like after lying to me, he owes me at least that much honesty. but, at the same time i hate picking at it, because it makes him so angry and uncomfortable, and he is clearly sorry. I guess it just takes time either way. i don't see how you could just find out about someone cheating, say "ok." and forget about it. without asking any questions. i just feel like i have to know what happened. and more importantly who it happened with, so i can kick some ass.
See when m ex cheated on me, I found out through my brother who was oblivious to the fact that I was going out with his friend, the conversation went thus: Me: So how come X never comes over here any more? Bro: Oh, he's usually at college, or at his gf's house Me: Oh, OK then My brain: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH And that was it, that's all I ever found out and to be honest, I don't want to know anything else, all I needed to know was that he was seeing someone else, I didn't care who it was, it angered me enough just knowing that
KMarie~ Many people want to know the gory details so they can examine the situation. Infidelity tends to make the innocent party question who they are sexually, physically and emotionally and if they are "good enough" to be loved. The first thing some of my friends say that have been cheated on is "why did he do this to me" When someone has an affair or fling they rarely take into consideration how it will affect their partner. They live for the thrill of the moment, and feed off the "I am such a stud/hottie" energy. The rest of my friends say "finally, I have the closet all to myself" as they pack his belongings with a smile on their face. I fall into this category. I love my husband, but if he cheated I dont care about what/why/when/ or where it happened. I have heard all the lies and excuses (from ex's), so nothing he says at that point will matter. I will say that you get to a point in your life where it doesn't matter, because you will either forgive them or you won't. It is that simple; details are no longer relevant.
For me the details are very relevant. My bf cheated on me, and he told me, on his birthday party. We were dating like 2 months then and before that i said to me that i wold never forgive such thing. But the timeing, the moment he picked, discrasing him self while all his closest friends, and family was here, told me that he is sorry, and than i wanted to know the details, because if it happednd with one of his ex that would be the end. But he didn't cheat on me with his ex, but some random girl wile he was very drunk, so i forgive him.
When i was cheated on, i wanted to know everything. It hurt me at the time, and we split up over it, but it was just something i needed to know. It didnt make me understand why he done it, but it helped me understand how it happened if that makes any sence.
I would want to know everything. But I'm already psycho, so maybe it is just me. I would most certainly want to know why. Not because I think that I could have prevented it or it was my fault in the least bit. I believe everyone is in control of themself and people choose to cheat, it never "just happens". But at the same time I'm sick and twisted and would want to know every raunchy detail.
when my bf cheated on me i just wanted him to admit it. He wont to this day. The girl who he cheated with was the one that told me and I had her explain it too me exactly how it happened. I wanted to know. I think most people do.
for me this isn't the case. i don't want to know a lot of details unless it's after we've settled the issue that caused the cheating and we're okay with each other (either continuing as a couple or as friends)... then i like to hear about it purely in the laugh-and-share manner that one does with partners and friends over any relationships they've had with others.
This is pretty close. A scorned partner, depending on how they feel about the relationship after finding out, will want to know where they failed that their mate sought intimacy elsewhere. They blame themselves for their partner's infidelity, which is sad, really.
K marie, I'm new to this forum and I find it wonderful where individuals of varied pursuits get to talk about might-be-sensitive things; candidly, explicitly. As to this matter, being cheated elicits enormous amount of pain. You'd feel like you're dumped, duped, betrayed; apparently so. And many other words that could never ever accurately express even half of the pain you're feeling inside. The "curiosity" to know the details of the infidelity is pretty normal, I suppose. As you wanted to have your fill on the questions circling your mind. I attribute this instinct to the fact that, you were left clueless on what went wrong and to demand specifics on what really transpired behind your limited knowledge is your damn right. But this really depend on the persons involve. As to the fact that we are varied individuals, our emotional meters may also be at great variance. To some, they might choose to remain innocent of the particulars, as they refuse to allow pain go much deeper. Heartbreaks last as long as you want, and cut deep as you allow them to go. Challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them. As ironic as it may sound, but in relationships, try to be grateful when you're hurt or crying. There you are given the chance to measure the importance of the person and of yourslef as you grow. Gurl, whatever happens you deserve to be happy. Life doesn't end where heartaches begin.
I guess you can only stop questioing it and wondering when you know everything. It like when someone dumps you... you have to know why so that you can get closure
sometimes its because you really care , but if you dont care about the one who cheated you then its very ok and it will not affect on you
