Has anyone here got married with the main reason being that you or the person your married to became pregnant? What were the results...and again, asking for the obvious reasons.
I haven't. But, to anyone who is planning on getting married because they are expecting is the main reason, it is NOT a good reason. The main reason a couple should get married is because they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Ask yourself: Would I want to marry this person if there was no child/pregnancy involved? If the answer is no, or I don't know, then hold off on the wedding.
Bullshit. Kids deserve two married parents. If yer old enough to make a baby then you damn well better take on ALL the responsibilities that go along with it, like marriage.
I agree that just because you're pregnant is no reason to get married. I also agree that kids need two parents to love and care for them. In my work I see far too many kids being raised by mothers who never hear from the fathers again. This is so sad. If you make a babe you need to take care of it. Kathi
I didnt, but I think thats why my parents did because my mother had me at 18. They got married soon after. After 13 years, they are still together and I have 7 year old twin brothers, and a two year old sister. Though (dont tell them) I think they are headed towards divorce...
Maybe so, but getting married for the sole reason of a pregnancy is not the best reason. A married couple staying together "just for the kids" isn't healthy, either. So the kids grow up seeing their parents not happy with each other and fighting all the time?? I lived it. I know.
Bullshit. Kids deserve two married parents. If yer old enough to make a baby then you damn well better take on ALL the responsibilities that go along with it, like marriage.Yes your right kids do deserve two "parents" and if they are old enough to make a baby then yes they do need to take full responsibility for the child but marriage is a VERY big step... and I agree with "sugrmag" about it shouldnt be the reason for marriage because some people only stay together for the kids and then the child lives a life of the parents not getting along... My parents are still married and they stayed together for us and to honest its getting worse and worse... Now my mother stays because my dad is sick... First it was us kids... She loves him yes but the emotional abuse can be very damaging on a child... Children can be raised in single parent homes and do fine... I have a friend that he and the mother of his child never got married and the child is a wonderful and happy little boy who just turned 4.... Both parents share parenting and the responsibilites... so it can be done without being married.... The most important thing is I hope since your old enough to have this child that you both want it.....
My husband and I had been dating for 5 months when I became pregnant (unintentionally) with our son. At first, we thought that we would simply live together and raise the baby together, but not marry legally, because we both had (somewhat silly) moralistic objections to the institution of marriage. Then we found out that marriage had a number of significant financial benefits, as well as asthetic benefits (greater respectability, more pleasing to grandparents, etc.). We decided that, since we were planning to live together anyway, we might as well get married. My husband was still in school at the time, and lived two hours away. He commutted down on weekends, but couldn't move permanently until a month before our son was born. When he finally did move down, he had trouble finding a job, struggled with depression, and hurt his back (herniated disc, still not fixed) after only 3 weeks of work. Life was (and is) pretty stressfull, but we were both determined to "make it work." I'll be honest: the first year of our marriage was pure hell. I thought daily of divorce, separation--anything to get away from it! But I really loved my husband, and I thought my son should have two parents living in one house, because, despite the wonderful work of single parents, the best thing for a kid is to have two parents, living together as a family. My husband felt the same way. We realized that our marital problems were not related to each other--they were mostly stress-related--but that we were taking external issues out on each other. We had a lot of long, emotional talks, and spent a lot of time crying in separate rooms. But we figured it out. Now, I feel blessed to be married to my husband. He is the most wonderful man in the world, and I feel like I'm falling in love with him all over again, every day of the week, despite our toddler's presence (or, more specifically, as a result of). Our son is what caused us to work out our problems, but we love each other as people. My husband is my best friend, and I am his. We loved each other before our son came along, but it never felt like this before his presence made both of us into the better people that we are today. I wouldn't recommend what we did in a general sense, because you have to be dedicated to personal growth, compromise, and compassionate understanding in order to make it work--and all of these things are hard enough on their own, without the added stress of a needy infant, who doesn't deserve to hear his parents fighting all the time. Marriage is a struggle in and of itself, but once you get the hang of it, it's beautiful. Still, I think marriage because of a child should happen only when both parents are completely dedicated to the marriage and to the child--not just because it's what you're "supposed" to do. My own experience has ended up as a wonderful success, but I have known many more similar marriages that ended as total failures. I think that if you love someone, and both of you are willing to compromise--and, most importantly, be friends--it is possible to make a marriage work well, but you have to be willing to compromise, which, quite frankly, many people are not. peace out, Alyce
