In Islam, Why is it, that a woman must remain virgin before marriage and not the man? ( or do they have to be virgin for the "first" wife ? ) And why is it, that a man is allowed to have many wives but a woman is only allowed to have one husband? Why must she be faithful and not he? Just some questions I was wondering about conscerning your beliefs, and I'd like to have answered.
Of course he has to be faithful. The main reason for polygamy in ancient times was to care for the widows of friends who died in war. It's not a matter of a bunch of dogs looking for a bunch of wives simply because they want them. I'll have to go check to see if a man has to be a virgin for his wife. I do know this offhand, though- a woman can divorce a man who doesn't satisfy her physically. ...Just saying so it doesn't seem like a totally phalo-centric legal system. (EDIT): Actually, I'll have to check that for you later, my books are in my car, and I just got home from the night shift, so I'm feeling kind of lazy at the moment. Don't hold it against me -Thanks. Have a grouvai day ~Kharmi <(^_^<) <(^_^)> (>^_^)>
But I thought she needs to be virgin to marry? And isn't lust a sin? Then why would Allah reward a man with virgins after he participated in Jihad?( did I get that right? ) And why wouldn't women get this reward? just a bunch of more questions....
she doesnt have to be virgin to marry, most of Prophet Muhammad's (pbuh) wives were not virgins when he married them, they were divorced or widowed. Lust is a sin.. Men like virgins.. at least we do, i dont know what is the case in the west... Women will have whatever they want in heaven, but they werent promised "men" because it is usually shameful for women to be eager to have many men.. but men like this... but if they loved to have men in heaven, why not?! They were promised beautiful male servants... why not male mates too
They were promised "beautiful male servents"? ; Now wait....wait just a seconed here... Men are allowed to have virgins, women allowed to have beautiful male servents....is this not lust? Is sin allowed in paradise here or am I just missunderstanding? ( and thanks for the answer on the virgin thing. )
That's a funny point. I mean, when you look at sin, it really means just one thing- greed. So, it's ironic that a person would enter paradise at all if they had any interest in what has been promised in it. Still, the idea of paradise seems to give people a reason to behave decently... Unfortunately, a lot of people wouldn't bother being decent if they didn't think they could get something out of it. What a world.... Assalamu Aleikom <(^_^<)
ryupower in actual fact I have many friends who are muslim and at least 2 or three out of about 20 men remain celibate on the grounds that their religion asks them to abstain from sexual relations outside of marriage - still it dont stop them from looking at p0rn all over the internet and hoarding a whole ton of it but if a woman bought Just17 magazine theyd beat the crap out of her
Columbo: That might be the case with your friends but their behaviour do not reflect their religions values. (BTW: You have 20+ muslim friends?) Ryu: There is no such premise in islam that says that one can only marry a virgin, the prophets (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) first wife was a widow, 15 years his senior. Secondly, women tend to be more of an incitement to men than what men is to women (biologically speaking). I know that you view lust as a sin, would you care to elaborate on that because I can't understand how a system which is a apart of our selves is a sin? The prophet Joseph (peace be upon him) felt inclined towards the woman who tried to seduce him but he controlled his feelings and ran away from her. By your reasoning, did he sin by doing this? Is thinking a sin as well? In islam, we are not punished for having a sinful thought unless we say or act it. On the contrary, the one who was on his way to sin but then stopped is acually rewared for this act, he stod up against his natural lusts. (BTW: The beatiful men servants are just plain servants [you know the kind that you can boss around but not sexually!], and they serve men as well)
Hi cabd! Glad you're still alive. ( you're not on 6 in the morning like you said you'd be. ) In lust being a sin I believe that if say, a good looking person comes walking by, you go thinking something like: "ooooh...sexy...", it is sin. Or if you fantasize, etc... That is totally disgusting. The "looking for" part the "enjoying" part. That is sin. In Joseph's case, I don't remember it saying anywhere that he lusted after her, he just didn't fall for it and didn't seem to have much trouble controlling it, maybe he did maybe he didn't, it doesn't say. I believe it was more "no" then "yes". Because if you're led by the LORD and have Him in your heart, you'll soon realize that it's all in the mind and that God's glory ( following His word ) provides a shield for you. If one really ought too love God/Allah they for sure don't want to do anything unpleasing towards Him. Then again, this may contradict Islam, I'm not sure, but if it does let's not dig deeper in it. Let's keep the piece. ^^ You believe in the validity of the Gospels right? Jesus addressed the issue of lusting like this: " whosoever looks at a woman to lust after her, has already commited adultery in his heart." And you probably know He said that. And don't give me the biology line... I know of guys that are much purer than I have been or certain other girls. The whole biology thing is based on evolution. I don't think it's "biology" why many guys are like that, but society that has programmed them to believe so ( also giving them this *excuse* ), the society that bases its belief on evolution and that we're all just animals. It would have been unfair of God/Allah if He would have made man more prone to sin than woman, IMHO. Well, OK, about the virgin thing, I was basing it on the Ancient Jewish Law which Muslims, as far as I know, follow. I may have been missing out on stuff there, but nvm. But a woman does have to stay virgin until her first marriage right? I didn't get an answer if men have to stay virgin/cellibate as well. Anyways, Thanks guys for your replies! I have been wondering about some of these questions because I was studying about sexual purity and marriage regulations. Polygamy, for instance, though IMHO, adultery,something unclean, -it was allowed in the OT ( not supported or encouraged though ), this confused me, because it is highly condemned in Christianity ( conscidered adultery and unfaithfulness ). I read notes on it ( that God would want the people to see for themselves its consequences ), but that didn't satisfy me. So, since nowadays most Jews condemn it, I wanted to ask Muslims for a REASON this was allowed, and why it was allowed ( You believe Allah/God is just, no? ), and not condemned, etc... since you have strict rules to follow that list lust as sin and all ( or so it seems? ). So now I know a *little* more ( the part with the widows ), thanks again! --- SORRY FOR THE LONG POST BUT I GOTTA SAY SOMETHING! -----
Oh MY. Yeah, that's the biology "excuse" I don't support....:/ Maybe not all are religious Muslims ( there are many "Christians" that are in truth Agnostics, but they think they're Christians because it says it on a piece of paper.... ) But that's still sick... BTW: what's Just17?
Thanx, I am sorry about that, I've been really busy with school these days. I dont really understand what you base this statement on. From where do you derive this "belief", from your own self? In Islam we have to refer to an authentic source, otherwise ones words may become unheared. Claudia, do you agree that thoughts like these could come automatic, without any involvment from your self? If you do, then how can something that is programmed in our genes be seen as a sin? One of the companions once said that he rather fall from the sky than to say some thoughts that entered his head. The prophet answered him by saying that this was correct faith. Difference between the Quranic and the Biblical story. I agree. The Quran says (interpretation of the meaning); Say: "If ye do love Allah, Follow me: Allah will love you and forgive you your sins: For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (3:31) But love demands action, this is why we dont believe that Allah loves everyone. That would contradict the whole meaning of love. I believe in the scripture sent to Christ (peace be upon him) but I deny that the present Gospel we have today is the same as the one which was sent to him. The present Bible has been interpolated, changed, edited so many times that it can't be called the same scripture. Note the words: "whosoever looks" that means one has acually looked at this in order to feed his lusts and this is forbidden. Because this is an act but lust it self is not, we all have lusts for different things and we get sin if we don't controll them but not for having them since the latter would be impossible. No its not. It's based on a different type of research, just studying male/female hormones makes the whole thing pretty clear. The evolutionists have from this tried to form different theories but the premise it self doesnt come from this theory. Well how is that? Men are told to guard their chasity and refrain from "unpremissble sigths" and women are told to wear a veil. That means both have laws adjusted to their own gender, since men are more, well you know, there is a greater emphasise on them guarding their eyes and since women tend to accumulate more looks than men (by the millions) they are told to wear unrevealing clothes. This is justice. We follow the Quran and the words of the prophet (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him). All our religious views are based on these two sources. Well yes, but the same goes for the man as well. Well now you did! I dont have so much time right now, is it ok if I answer this a little later. Dont be sorry, always interesting to hear what you have to say.
awwwwww..... I already posted it, Jesus saying " whosoever looks at a woman to lust after, has already commited adultery in his heart." Ah, OK, I based that on the Old testament. Jesus said that just lustig after someone would be sin. He said that you already commited adultery. In fact, if the Koran has the same story ( don't know if it was altered ), check it out again! Like you already said, if you don't control it. If you let yourself get tempted. If you don't rebuke the thought right away. Though I repent if a thought just pops in my mind, because alone that thought gives me a feeling of impurity. I don't understand why you guys actually think God/Allah let the scriptures be changed. Are you saying that man is more powerful than God? ( or why would He let His word be changed? ) Proof the male/female hormones thing! Against common beliefes, testosterone is NOT responsible for the female lebido, estrodiol is, and the location of the female lebido was recently found out to be in the brain. But that was a new study. Of coarse evolutionist claim it! Look at monkeys! It gives people an excuse to sin. NO EXCUSES MAN, IT'S SICKENING ( one's responsible whether they like it or not. ) How can sin, which is in our genes, be seen as sin? So God purposely made woman be under more bondage than man, and He PURPOSELY allowed man to be more sinful? -Well, OK, if this is your belief... Ever thought about this being a historical thing? Back then women were only judged by looks, people back then, like they do in the mid-east still today, had arranged marriages and men and women never really got to know each other before they married. So there was alot of emphesis on female looks. You could ask many western guys and ask them if girls running around in revealing clothes is really soooooooo extremely tempting to him ( don't get me wrong, I'm not justifying it. I hate it when they run around like sluts as well, sorry for the expression but it's true no? It probably is tempting, then again, if a guy were to walk around like that, or if a guy runs around without a shirt aswell, it is also pretty tempting to many girls, but many aren't as open as guys, and don't want to talk about it out of fear the people will think they're perverts or something. NOBODY should wear reveiling clothes. ), if they're Christians, they'll most likely be like "no, I hate it how people always pretend we can't control ourselves and only think about sex" or something like that. ASK SOME OF THEM. I had enough telling me that. It's all in the mind man, the body influences but your mind AND spirit can control it. Yup, I know about that.: - ) ( emoticon number's up ) I just thought the ancient Jewish LAW ( 5 books of Moses ) was followed by Muslims aswell. So why do you think Allah did this then? I still think it is more unfair to give one more of an excuse to sin then the other. I still think the whole thing is social/historical. Not trying to blow up your views or anything, just like I said, this is MY opinion and I don't want any flames lol. OK, thanks for answering my original question! YAY! : D OK, thanks that's fine. : - ) it is? XD Wow, check it out, this has become even LONGER than the last post, God bless whoever bothers to read all that and answer my questions. In fact, may you all be blessed! ^^ -- *OFF TOPIC* --And people here, especially you cabd, you guys know arabic right?You should!You need to speak it every day! Anyways, could somebody please take a look at this guys question? http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=203808
Could be as simple as this as well: Sexual diseases were rife back about 2000 years ago with no chance of a cure - or even alleiviation. To insist women were pure was one way of knowing they would not spread sexual disease - back then it was thought women were responsible for the transmission of sexual disease
Who told you this!? Virginity is sacred for both men and women before marriage and breaking this, whether your a guy or girl is deeply punishable. No differences in islamic law between males and females on this one! This is a complex one but basically it goes something like this: It is very important for a man to continue his family and expand his family should he have the financial means to support them. However, what is UNDERRATED and nearly ALWAYS IGNORED AND MISUSED IS THE ISLAMIC RULE THAT: The First Wife (or wives) Must give full, consented of free unpressured mind, permission for the second marriage to occur. If she doesn't then it cannot go ahead.
hmm what about slave girls or right hand possessions their virginity isnt sacred , mohammed and the early muslims had the habit of raping captives but I suppose that doesnt count somehow
Assalamu Alaikom I could say something, but I don't see that there's much more for me to say about it than has been said months ago; and, anyway, this board has been pretty boring for a while and I want to see where Rayan's gonna go with this. Hey, jonny, it's been a while. How ya doin'? Well, have a grouvai day.
well things are so so hope things are well with you it has been very quiet on this part of the board hasnt it
