Lately I've been noticing my long term boyfriend (14 yrs) acting funny when I walk in the room, he blanks his screen. Naw, thought I, not my guy. He's wonderful. I'm always bragging about how terrific and honest he is. Today he comes home, tells me our relationship has no chance unless we break up for a month, no contact. Supposedly his therapist told him this. Hmm? I have the same therapist. So, maybe I should stop being so trusting. Did you even tell the poor girl we are married? And this sudden time off, no upleading just throwing it at me like you did last time. You knew damn well you were going to do this didn't you. And how are you on-line? How many lies, and me trusting you with my heart and life. I hope she's smarter than I was.
I'm confused... Your long term boyfriend, but you're married? Wouldn't that make him your husband instead? I would be sympathetic if you posted on here anonymously about some guy who did this to you. Unfortunately, I read your other post (in the "women spending money" thread) before seeing this one... And you now look like a stalker. Maybe others would disagree, but I find it quite inappropriate to come on here to attack someone, regardless of how he "done you wrong." If you could keep it on the level of "this guy did this to me, and it sucks", I would be sympathetic and agree that it sucks. I don't know you well enough to know who you're talking about, so would have been happy to join in the "what a jerk" bitching. If he jumped in and started calling you names, I would defend your right to post your feelings if you worded it so that nobody knows who you're talking about. But your last sentence, calling out the person who you're pissed at by name... That's just not cool. I don't know you or him, but I don't want to see a place that I enjoy spending my time devolve into a mudslinging contest.
Therapists often know what they're talking about.... I don't know all the details of your relationship, and I doubt that some 14 years could be boiled down to a few sentences and properly summarize all of it, but maybe you should talk to the therapist about why they think it's the right move for you two.
Not pretty WCD your attacking one of our own. I hope you can move on and find a fulfilling relationship with someone else.
Well I truely don't know either of you and it is a free speech forum. I will leave the ethics to others. First, if you are seeing the signs then you would only be fooling yourself to ignore them. Secondly, I doubt a therapist would suggest a seperation if the person involved was expressing a desire to stay with his wife. Lastly, you have to decide if you are going to stick around and provide security for him to fall back into or not. I personally don't believe in trial seperations. You are either working on it or your not. Only you can make the decisions here and they won't be easy ones to make.
I appologize to evrey one. I was in such shock I think I some missed the fact others would read this. Again, it WAS inappropriate post and I am so sorry. We usually say husband and wife. We aren't married for financial reasons. I have been feeling something was wrong and asked repeatedly if we were ok. He kept assuring me we were fine. He asked me to do some things and I'm working on it. But I thought I had more than 2 weeks leeway and he never suggested a marriage counseler I did. And suddenly we are a "can this marriage be saved" I loved him with all my heart and trusted him. So I didn't follow this up until after he dropped the bomb. This is the second time he's blindsided me. I'm broken. And it is, of course more complex than this, just for those whose curiosity and asked. I'll leave this here for a few days, then delete. I am truely sorry. My life as I know it was just ending. I won't be posting again. Sorry
Well...I know who your bf/husband is. And I wouldn't touch this for anything. Wouldn't be right for me to really comment on.
Then, why'dya even bother to post, sweetbabyjames? Publicity whore or fifty-one year old busybody/yenta? In Texas - a yenta?
Jesus, it's not like he's the only person who's made a post without any real reason behind it. Do you go around attacking everyone who does it? Why do you even bother to post about other people bothering to post?
No, but what's the point of saying, "Well...I know who your bf/husband is. And I wouldn't touch this for anything. Wouldn't be right for me to really comment on." His last sentence, being "Wouldn't be rightfor me to really comment on." Means he just shouldn't have.
:leaving: I'd kick the therapist in the ass, tell him to go to hell and get a new therapist for myself! Seriously though I don't think it's a good idea that you two see the same therapist, it gives the therapist too much control and puts him in the center of your arguemnts. Your bf was probably lying though. Bustramp
Love you too man!! Since I know of the people involved; albiet indirectly. It was asked of me to read this thread...so I did. I felt I shouldn't make my feelings about it public and said so. Therefore my post about not commenting was meant for them. Soooo...being a free speach forum you have made your peace loving self heard. Feel better? Peace...
Baby James wouldnt touch it because he knows the story behind what the lady posted .....thats all , and it involves 2 dear friends of his. Its Called Loyalty....not being an attention hound !!!
The boy friend had an appointment with the therapist on thursday. This isnt the only time this couple has had problems....they have split before. Theres 2 sides to the story people.....remember.
