Like the title says, I have recently fallen for one of my friends. She is just amazing in every way and I feel that God brought us together for this purpose, however there is one problem. She and her Boyfriend are back together. This is more of a ''I don't want my friend to be hurt again'' subject. I am very sure that she has(d) feelings for me, but I didn't think much of it until it was to late, of course. The thing is, it does not make sense why she is back with him, everyone agrees. He was semi-abusive, she said that he raped her, and he ran into the back of her truck...and i was ridin with him when it happened. She also says that he is a phyco. The last thing I want, even before I had feelings for her, was I did not want her to be hurt again, but like my friend ''T'' says ''she'll figure out the mess she's in'', but I don't want her to be hurt and I know the reason she is back with him is because he was her first and only sex partner and she obviously wants him for wither sex or attention. Question is: What could I do to help her? Being a friend is something I don't even feel comfortable being around her after all she's said about him negativly and then goes back out with him, but I'm hers so I feel entitled to help out even if I don't have her as a g/f. (sorry for the read)
be a friend be open to the now...listening...dont put your expectations on it dont presume to know what god / the universe has planned for you REPORT HER BOYFRIEND for raping her and being abusive to be help...to be an open vessel for love...you cant include your needs...god is always there; you are always loved. you dont need more...if you are open, you can give her what she needs. be clear and honest in your beliefs about her boyfriend. show her she is worth more. REPORT HIM!!!! rape should be dealt with!!!
so basically, I should be a friend now and slowly but surely work my way to her heart? If that is the case, that is what I was planning on doing. God is indeed here for me as well as others, but I just want to give love, not just sex, to this girl; something I'm sure she could really use more than she knows.
Jeremy - Why don't you tell her that you have strong feelings for her but will respect her decision to continue seeing the other guy, and will remain a platonic friend. Tell her that if she ever decides to break up with the other guy, you will be there. I was dating one woman (for several months) but she was moody and our relationship was not on a steady course. I met another woman at a party I threw at my house (my girlfriend was there too), and we communicated by e-mail after that. She respected my relationship with my girlfriend, but implied she would be there if we ever broke up. One night soon after, we did break up in the middle of a date, and I called the second woman up on the way home, and she said "come on over". So i did, and we have been together ever since (over two years).
I call this the Parachute Technique. The best way to break up if you don't have the decency to feel a bit of guilt. Don't feel bad, I've done it several times. It's always nice to know when you call "NEXT!" someone will answer. However, I DON'T recommend waiting around like a goof. It's not an easy position and I've never done it myself, I could not fathom doing it. Would you? Besides the fact that someone did it for you? How can you recommend something you yourself have never tried before if that's the case? Jeremy, move on. Be a friend but at some point that chick needs to screw her own head on her shoulders. If she's senseless to continue in an abusive relationship, it's frankly her problem. However I would agree with the other person who said that you should report the abuse if it comes to serious life-threatening circumstances, abuse or rape. Otherwise, keep your wee-wa in your pants, and your nose out of other peoples' business.
I would but she tells everyone, us, her buisness. Almost as though it is for attention. I don't know. The situation is different from what I thought it could become.
Just be the second one who has sex with her. Bring that topic up since you know her for sucha long time, its no big deal. Tell her to try to have sex with u and tell her that she will enjoy it and you are goign to be better - theres only one way to find out .... if you will do nothing- nothign will happen.
let her know how you feel and then tell her that it's up to her to make her decision whether she wants to stay with him and be your friend or if she wants to be with you and be rid of him. i'm sure it's difficult for her because this dude is the only guy she's had sex with, but you have to let her know that it would be better for her to get away from this guy.
