Lack of Physicality

Honestly, just start saying no to her reaching below the waist if it leaves you wanting that badly. Tell her the teasing is painful, cruel and really not that fun in the end, that you'd rather that hands just stayed above the waist until she's ok with following through a little more.

 

^ I agree, probably the best bet. I was sexually abused in my last relationship, I think theres a time when you have to tae a step back and realise that it's now effecting you because your choosing to allow it. Your girlfriend is clearly not fat, and she probably says it to get attention. Just let her know that you understand that she was hurt and when she's ready to work threw it rather then dwell on it you'll be there for her.

 

Thats a good idea, I think I'll try that. As much as I want her to do that...it SUCKS when she doesn't follow through...

 

Yeah, I was with a girl for two and a half years and she NEVER let me have sex with her, claiming she 'wasn't ready' (at 20 years old). But she would regularly cock-tease. Because I loved her and respected her feelings, I rarely brought the subject up but if I did, she blatently poked fun at it and dismissed it as 'silly men with their sexual urges ... haw haw haw'.
My one regret is that I never sat her down and talked to her about how exactly I felt, in a way that it wasn't just water off a duck's back for her. You seem to be talking about it but you've got to make sure she gets the message and she takes it seriously. Not in any mean or aggresive way, obviously!
Someone has probably given you similar advise already but I'm quite stoned and after reading this, I know how you feel. I hope you two can come to an aggreement about where your relationship is going.

 

Okay, its time for an update...


We talked about it all, and everything is going to be okay. the problem has been a combination of two things...She has been exhausted with school lately. All of the stress, and her not getting much, if any, sleep is frankly just not the thing to get her horny...haha. So that is part of the problem, and the other part (which now that she said it, I do remember and believe her...) is on my side, that I've said some "mood killers" a few times...like, if she didn't let me do something, I got a little bit upset a few times, and I do remember being that way, and I know thats a terrible thing to do...I think it really all has to do with the stress from school right now, on both of our ends. Thats why she's been so exhausted, and why I've been, well frankly, an ass.....BUT, the stress is now over, and the short time left in our semesters is going to be fairly easy. Not only that, but she's coming home with me on Thanksgiving break, so we'll get to be together a whole week. And she's said that she's feeling incredable now, compared to before, and has told me that the time of stuff lasting only 2 minutes is long over with...

Not only that, we've been talking for a while, and have come to the mutual conclusion that we're ready to have sex...errr, well, more like I'M ready, haha. Because I'm a virgin, and she's not. So yea...we've talked about that, and basically I just have to make a little trip to the store...and that will most likely happen during the break, which starts in a week. So....I'm really nervous about that, now...I know I'm definetly ready, because I told myself I would save it for when I was truly in love and knew I'd be with that person a long time, and I do now. I know in my heart we're going to last, and so I want to show her how much I love her...I'm just scared, because she's done it before and I haven't...Oh well, I guess I'll figure it out...

 

wow ok I have a different opinion than everyone on this thread. I think you are wrong for not respecting her space and it does sound like you expect her to jack you off even though at the end you say you do not. Everything else you said eluded to it. If you're not compatible leave, but don't force her to be someone else, or be more physical with you than you feel comftrable.

I don't know I couldn't imagine giving a guy a hand job, that is so stupid. Either sex or if I'm not ready yet nothing more than kissing. I would move on to the next guy if somone I hadn't slept with yet asked for a hand job. I dumped my last boyfriend because he asked for a blowjob...ya don't ask for that stuff unless you're really commited and have been together a long time. SHE DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING SO STOP ACTING LIKE SHE DOES.

 

oh nevermind sorry....

 

It will all work out for you man. I know it will.

 

hey lynsey

try reading thethread before you reply...
butters made it clear that this girl IS ready for sex (she's not a virgin, he IS), and is constantly teasing him.

thats VERY different to simply "not being ready". his problem was not that she's not ready, but that she TEASES him and leaves him wanting...that she talks all sexy, but wont follow through. that she starts things...but doesnt finish them.

i really wonder whether u read his orginal post @ all..

 

Its okay, I'm not mad at all. No worries!

So, we've decided that we're going to have sex when she visits for thanksgiving break (just 4 days left...). I'm so freaking excited because I really want to connect with her on that level, because I am so in love with her.....I'm just nervous and scared too, but I suppose thats natural...

 

Glad you could work things out, man.
And because you had to wait for it, it'll be AMAZING!

 

I sure hope so, I've waited 20 years for the right girl, and finally I have her...

 

I had to wait the exact same time ... that's why I feel for you on this one!

 

Awesome, glad to know I'm not alone!

I know everything will be perfect...I'm just nervous because I don't was to screw anything up...by not knowing what the hell to do...