Hey all, let me tell you my story. I'm an 18 year old male from England who started chatting to a girl from New York online a bit ago, and over time feelings started to develop and I planned on going over there to visit. As time went on my happyness turned into pain, pain from the distance, I guess I came to the realisation of how near impossible this actually would be. I went into a mad state of depression and even had to see a doctor about it, so we stopped talking for a few days. The pain calmed down a bit, but I didnt want to make a mistake against her and break her heart so I told her I couldnt stay commited even though deep down inside I didnt want anyone else. She accepted, her feelings for me didnt change, she still kept on saying that I was the only one for her and she wasnt interested in other guys, and it stayed like that for a while until the other night... I found out she is now in a relationship with someone else, this has left me heartbroken because I still had strong feelings for her and never wanted what we had to die... Even though it was so painful. I feel as if I brought it up on myself for being selfish for her love. Everything we could of had is now all shattered and I hate this feeling, I cant believe she told me she wanted me and only me and now this happens. What if she was the one.
I know the feeling, man. But seriously, you're young. 18. Plenty of other girls out there. I promise.
Play in your own back yard and you see the results, hear the results, taste the results, feel the results, and smell the scent of God, Harry, and St George. Beyond has good advice!
The only other advice I can think of, is go out where you live now. Go out with friends, and meet people that live where you do. It'll be much easier than trying to do a long distance thing. (Trust me. My boyfriend is over 2000 miles away, and it's about the hardest thing I've had to deal with.) I only recommend...well, I never actually recommend a long distance relationship, but I say only even consider having one, if you can see yourself being with this person for a very long time. Years and years, and even years after that. If not, why waste the time and energy?
Thing is, I dont think I have the desire to be with anyone local right now, I dont know, I am just feeling really misreable. You see, NYC is a place ive always dreamed of going to for years, and then to find someone who feels right and lives in a place where ive always dreamed of going, could be magical... You can probably think of many reasons alone as to why I started feeling pain over it. I guess one of the main ones was that I was afraid of putting my life on hold for someone who I've never met in person and would be a long time before I did so. I don't think there is anyone local for me.
If you think she's worth putting your life on hold for, then do it. But don't regret it years down the road, when you think back and realize you missed opportunities.
It's just the fact that I guess we'd have to meet first to know if it was truely right I guess... She has found someone else now anyway.
Then, dear boy, try to move on. There are many other girls out there. You have the internet, you have access to the whole world! You'll find someone that's right for you.
But meh... what if she was the one... I feel like I may of thrown that away, even though we wouldnt truely know until we met.
if she was willing to see someone else, she WASNT the one. as much as you may have wanted her to be. it sounds like she was nowhere near as committed to this as you were. also maybe you should be careful giving your heart away so easily...having to go to a doctor for depression because things didnt workout with someone you met on the net...maybe wait till you've met them in person to get that serious. you have to take care of you...not that you shouldnt care for others, but maybe wait before getting THAT attatched and reliant.
No it was all my fault for being too afraid to commit to her, even though deep down inside I only wanted her. Maybe she would of not fallen someone else if I was better. I'm just upset over the fact that she told me she didnt want anyone else and always pleaded me to trust her on that.
Don't blame yourself. It has nothing to do with you not being "good enough". At the time, I'm sure she didn't want anyone else. But things change. Life happens, and things change. I'm sorry this happened to you, but be glad it happened now, and now 6 months after you moved there to be with her or something like that.
