erection problem during sex

I had sex today for the first time. Today i turned eighteen but that wasn't why i had sex today it was just a coinceidence. At first things were going great she was sucking my dick and it felt pretty good. But when i went to stick it in all of a suden i went limp. I couldn't get it hard again so i go another condom because she didn't want to suck it with a condom on it. I'm really attracted to her so thats not the problem. I was able to keep it somewhat hard the second time and was able to give her a good round but i wasn't even about to get off. Then i decided to change positions and let her do the work to see if that would work, but as soon as i turned over i went completely limp. So eventually she got tired of trying to help me keep a hard on long enough to stick it in so she gave up.

I feel like a fucking old man or something. This is pissing me off! When i masterbate i'm able to keep a real good hard on, if not to hard, but i don't know what the fuck happened here. I also have to say that i'm very nervous when i'm first getting to know someone, but after i get to know people i'm no where near as nervous. I'm thinking that i was just nervous or something.

Can anyone help me with this? Will this stop if my nervousness goes away? Please help.

 

the same thing happend to me the first time actually, i really knew the girl i was with, but her dad was gonna be home in an hour so we were rushing and nervous and shit, now its no problem at all. its 100 percent nerves im sure of it

 

So if my nerves come down i'll be fine right?

 

The same basic thing happened to me my first time. We just groped each other for a while until I got hard again, then she got and top and went for a few minutes before we switched positions.

It's your first time, man. Don't be ashamed of doing things to make it easier for yourself.

 

Yeah But did you cum? I wasn't even close. And i tried many different things to get hard again and nothing worked. I really don't want this to happen again.

 

I took a guy's virginity once, and the same thing happened. He was just really nervous. A few times later, he was fine. It happened the first 3-4 times, though. Dude was scared his mom would catch us. haha

 

Yeah i'm starting to think it's a combination of my nerves, and the fact that i'm not use to having to work for an orgasm. When i masterbate i like to set down and flex my legs. I think i've gotten so use to that that i can't really even keep it hard when i'm working for it.

Anyone else know what i'm talking about, and a good way to fix it?

 

well now...you'll just have to practice lots with this girl hey?
yay an excuse for more sex!!!:reddevil:

the nerves are understandable. but dont feel u have to do the same things u do on your own to get off. instead, use the fact that you're with someone to totally push u over the edge. let the passion totally take over and go crazy to and with each other! rip her clothes off and lick her all over... maybe watch porn or reading porn stories before u see her next would help? make u horny crazy and get past the nerves BEFORE u see her...

 

I think that's pretty funny because i just did that, but we didn't fuck. I just thought i'd tease her because i know she likes it. Next wednsday i'm going to fuck the shit out of her and she knows it! I had a really good hard on the whole time we did this. I think i'm starting to get use to her

 

I'm sure it's all nerves.

TOENAIL gives good advice, but I would disagree with the last part of what she says... If you spend all of your energy before you're with her, you won't have a lot left to give. You might try this: Get all worked up, but then take about a day and a half break before you're with her again, to build up tension.

We're constantly bombarded by the lie that sex is the easiest thing, and that every guy is naturally a pr0n star. It ain't necessarily so. When you're actually with a woman, there are so many other dynamics involved. When you're "alone," it's just about you, and there's no pressure. When you're with her, you suddenly feel like you have to perform... NOW! Plus, you might be worried about pregnancy, getting caught in the act, etc...

Here are some ideas:

Make it a team effort. Have her show you what makes her happy, and do that for her. Show her what makes you happy, and have her do that for you for a while. Try to just enjoy the moment, and not to "perform."

It's a hard thing to learn how to be "selfish" enough to enjoy things yourself, but to still make your partner happy. Also, you need to learn how to not enjoy it too much, or it will all be over too soon. Practice, practice.

Condoms: I'm hoping that you are using these, but they can be a big problem. My advice: waste a whole box "practicing" with them, alone. The sensation is good, but is different enough that it can be a problem if you're not used to it.

I have every confidence that you'll be a stallion in no time.

Be careful and considerate, and enjoy!

 

Yeah thanks, and condoms are a bitch. I went through three of them that night. Everytime i put one on i immediately went limp. I was so tempted to just have her take the pill, then fuck her and pull it out at the last second, but i'm not about to have a kid so fuck that. I'm just going to stick to your advice and keep using a condom. Thanks.

 

Just nerves, it'll go away, my boyfriend had a similar problem the first time, but now we wnjoy a healthy sex life.

 

Desert Nightmare - The first time is alway difficult - you are nervous, you have never been there before (inside her), you are not sure what to do, you fumble with the condom, etc. Here are some suggestions - go slowly - do a lot of foreplay - touching each other's genitals, massaging each other, sucking her nipples (and she yours), kissing, talking, romantic music and lighting, and then have her roll the condom onto your penis. Make sure it is a lubricated one so it goes easily into her. Start with the missionary position (man on top) and put a pillow under her butt before you enter her. Start slowly and vary the thrusts - do nine shallow ones then one deep one, then eight shallow ones and two deep ones and seven shallow ones and three deep ones, and so on until you are doing all deep ones, at which time you should blow. Or stop and stay still inside her for a minute and start over again. This is one thing where experience really pays off. I figure I have made love 8,000 times over my life, and it is still great. You are just beginning.

 

Thanks for this advice i'll use it. But now i've got another problem. Well actually it's more of her problem. She doesn't want to go more then like 5/10 mins max. She cums quick and is satisfied. I no longer to cum then 10 mins.

Also i really don't have a good place to fuck her. I'm eighteen but i don't think my grandparents like the idea of me doing it in the house at least. So thats another stressful factor on both of use. She says that after she cums her pussy feels sensative which i can understand even though i'm a man, but that happens to my penis as well. Do you have any advice on how to fix this problem?

 

1. condoms are a MUST even if she IS on the pill - neither of u want STDs!

2. after she cums, just play with other parts of her other than her clit...finger her (if she likes it), play with her breasts etc etc. maybe even lick her clit VERY gently and work her up into a frenzy again.

3. maybe u should move out of home...then u can shag all day and night long

 

Desert Nightmare - Go slow - go slow - go slow - helps both of you. Most women cannot cum with only a man's penis inside her - they need manual stimulation - and 25% of women never have an orgasm. So consider yourself lucky. Also, try to find her "G spot" - I have discussed at length how to find it in other recent posts - look for them.

I don't know where you live, but if it is not too cold outside, go on a hike and take a blanket or sleeping bag and find a secluded spot, get naked and do it like our ancestors did - outdoors.

Regarding your sensitivity issue, make sure you have enough lube on your penis/condum - use KY jelly or astroglide, and afterwards, thoroughly wash your organs and then put skin cream on them to soften them up. Another idea is olive oil - not only does it feel great (and is good for jacking off) but it is good for your skin.

Now get on with it. Cutted

 

Well with the outside issue thats not going to work. I live in alabama and it's extremely cold down here right now. The only place that i can think to do it is in the back of her SUV and lay down the back sets, or in my room where i probably shouldn't because of my grandparents. Thats about the best we're going to be able to do right now.

The funny thing is that niether my grandparents, or my real parents ever talked to me about sex, and they expect me to know. I think i'm just going to fuck her in my room and if they walk in on us then i'm just going to say, "well you never talked to me about this so what did you expect." Know what i'm saying, or do you have better advice?

 

Hahahahah, just don't give the grandfolks a heart atack!

 

Well damn, i was sort of hoping for that.

 

Desert Nightmare - your two choices could work - in the SUV on a secluded road, with the heater on in the SUV and inside a sleeping bag or under some warm blankets, or at your grandparents home when you are sure they are not there and will not come back and interrupt your lovemaking. By age 18 most
American men have had at least one sexual experience involving intercourse, so you are on track with the rest of us. Also, what about her place? No privacy?
You might also go on a date, rent a cheap motel room, and go at it there.

A forum like this is also a good place to get advice, because you can do it more or less anonymously, and take or leave the advice. I was fortunate in that when I was only a year older than you, I went to Europe and met a woman in her late 20s who told me she wanted to teach me all she knew about sex. I was 19 but looked sixteen. She was a schoolteacher and I suppose always wanted to fuck one of her students. Over a week, she taught me everything, for which I was ever grateful, and I have tried to pass on my learning gained from her and many years of sexual activity (perhaps 8,000 fucks) to others who might benefit. It is something that is difficult to talk about with your parents or grandparents, and in school the sex education you get merely gives you the basics.
Carry on. Cutted