Question about meeting girls as a single parent.

Ok, so I just recently became a single father of a 1 year old, I packed up and moved in with my cousins in center city Philadelphia. Everything is cool, I make enough money to take care of my son, and I am completley over the ex. So I already met one girl, and she knows I have a son, but my question is do I tell a girl right away I have a son? Or like, after a date or two. Also, should I let a girl play with him and get to know him? I mean he's only 1 so I dont know how that would affect him.

 

Just tell the chick on the first date. It's usually not that big a deal. I dated a guy (briefly, but that's because he chose to go back to his ex) who had a daughter. Mind you, he didn't have custody of her. If you can afford a babysitter when you head out on dates it's probably not gonna be a huge ordeal

 

Yea your right, honesty is the most important thing. Only reason I asked is because Im not quite ready for a real relationship yet, this girl I met is just like a, you know, whatever kind of thing, I met another Korean girl who I kind of like but Im just not ready. Oh yea, and I only have joint custody so I will have my son 3.5 days just like she will. Basically, Im young, and have spent the last 3 years with this girl so Im trying to get out and meet some new people. Thanks for the advice, Im really excited

 

daym Jim, thats crazy

 

Realyer, yeah, tell her right away. No reason to be anything less than honest.

Put "up" with it? Most of the men I know love kids. Even other

people's. :crybaby:

Anyway, Relayer, I would tell her. Most people don't have a problem with dating parents of little kids. It gets harder when they are teens, but your little guy is still young, right?

Is your baby-mama still in the picture, or are you the lone parent?

You are a nice dude. A nice chick would be happy to be in your company, and the company of your child, too.

 

Maggie, you are too kynd!!! Yea, she has joint custody with me, I have him Wedendsay to Saturday. Thank you for the advice, I did tell her last night, its cool because this Korean girl is like all into classical music and sports just like me, Im so happy to be meeting people I actually get along with and share intersts

 

Good luck. I'll light a candle for your sucess at love, when I get back from my Mother's Group meeting this morning.

I hope things work out. You deserve a nice girl.

 

Your the best Maggie! I quit all the drugs too, well I occaisonally go boozing and bonging, but I gave the opiates up and Im trying to just focus on the boxing and the running. Now I run up the art museums steps everyday like Rocky lol

 

Yea just be upfront. The only drawback would be if she hated children but that would be her choice. I would just let it come out with the natural flow of communication before you even ask for the date. That way if she excepts its all on the table before it starts. You never know when you might want more of commitment from a once casual relationship. Congrats on giving up the opiates, I am sure this will bring positive changes in your life. As far as the kid I would say he will be too young to remember most of it anyway. I probably wouldn't just bring any girl around my kid but after getting to know someone it would be alright. You are lucky, the older they are the more confusing it is for them(with the whole new Mom/Dad issues).

 

Be upfront. Any woman who is scared off by the fact that you have a kid isn't a woman you'll have a future with anyways.

BTW, kudos on being so involved in your little one's life. I can tell he's important to you. Most women will love that quality in a man.

As far as introducing women you date to your son to play with and get to know, I'm not sure how I'd handle that. The single moms I know are selective about who they let into their kids lives, reason being that they don't want their kids to become attached to someone who could be gone before they know it. Little one's need security and seeing partners come and go may be upsetting to them. But you know your little guy better than I do, and I'm sure you'll make the right call in that area seeing as his well-being is an important issue to you.

 

I can tell you from experance I have full custody of two wonderful girls ages 4 and 3 and I dont really date alot but the select women I have dated do not have a problem with them. They are the most important thing in my life and if a girl couldnt accept them then dating them wouldnt be a option. BTW since they are always with me except when I am at work they see that I have kids so if they wanted to date they already know what they are getting into.