Ok, my daughter is 2 years old, and I seriously cannot take her out in public. Anytime we go to a store, she will ride in the cart for 5 minutes before she freaks out and starts crying for me, and reaching for me.and when Im alone with her, I dont want to let her out of the cart because she wont listen to me, and runs off, and I dont want anyone to take her....so I make her sit in the cart and she freaks out. I usually have to leave the store right away. She screams so bad you can hear her in any corner of the store, and she screams like someone has just spanked her or somthing. Then the other day I took her to the mall in her stroller, and she did the same thing to me. Thank god is was so busy that it was harder to hear her scream...but it was still embarassing! It would be one thing if she would walk with me and hold my hand, but she wont. and since she started walking, I have always made her hold my hand. So my question is, what can I do to stop this? I find myself trying not to leave the house just because I know this is how she will act. She never used to be like this before. I dont want to give into her, but then again I dont know what to do. I dont want to spank her or anything like that, but I'm losing my mind! When we are at home, and she does somthing she is not supposed to, I LIGHTLY slap(more like a tap) her hand and tell her no. Now all I have to say to her is, "do you want me to smack your hand?" and she stops what she is doing. but if I do that to her in a store, she cries so hard and loud! Please help. I'm at my wits end!!!!!
I'm feelin' ya. Mine has usually been pretty good in public, but he has his moments. Some of my friends' kids are just like you described. I think it's very common and normal. Here's a few tricks: pacifier bottle (of whatever) fatigue - take them to the store when they're so tired that they just sleep (of course that can backfire) food toys - something distracting like a shiny pinwheel a cell phone (grandma's voice can calm the craziest kid) a toy cart to push around - mine is big enough to put his stuff up on the checkout counter now. (He thinks he's hot shit.) Hope that helps!
Ah I feel for you. I too am the the father of a brand new two year old. I've consulted some professionals about this. Their advice: "Take to aspirin and call me in a year".
I work with children...and all are very different, but if I had yours this is what I would try. I would find something, like a toy, a treat, something tangible that she really enjoys. It could be something that she has already been exposed to like a favorite toy or a tangible treat like M & M's. What you'd want to do is, set up a reward system for her for being good. Reinforce her with the item only when you are "at the store" and you want her to be good. Don't give her the item any other time-at all. That way she will make an association between going to the store and getting her special treat when she is on the outing. It will take a few times for her to make the association, but it has worked. You just have to make sure the item you are using provides enough motivation for her to want. Otherwise it will not work. Remember to not give her the item during the day, etc. It has to be when she's being good, and on the outing. Both conditions must be met. Do not negotiate with her. You are the parent. Respectfully, uh oh!
Why do you think it's called the Terrible Twos ? I am a Survivor, having raised seven two year olds who have all since moved on, and presently the grandma of another 2 year old. There is hope! They do grow up! Here's what I learned..... two year olds are just beginning to realize that the world does not revolve around them and they don't like it, not one little bit. It makes them very insecure and scared. Since they haven't fully developed the power of reason and verbalization, the only thing they can do is act out, and hope it forces the world to return to revolving around them. They're really not trying to be "bad", they just can't process their emotions and verbalize them. When children are able to speak in complete, coherent sentences, around three, their behavior improves. Personally, I don't believe in rewarding children for good behavior with objects or food, because that, to me, is bribery, and sets the child up for a career in blackmailing you. Praise is all the reward a child needs. Distraction works really well, while you push your cart, sing and play games with her. Hand her the items to put in the back (not eggs, of course!) and let her help count and choose fruit and veggies. Make it a game! "Here are the plums! I need 6 plums! What colour are the plums? PURPLE! Let's count them, 1,2,3,4,5,6. Six purple plums! YAY!" Make your trips to the store short, have a list ready so you don't need to wander around. Toddlers have extrememly short attention spans. Let her help make the list at home. "DO we need eggs? How many eggs do we have? Let's count them, 1, 2. Yes we need eggs! Let's put them on our list!" When you get to the store, let her help find the items on the list. If you have to go for a long shopping trip, find a babysitter. She, and you, will be much happier. Don't leave the house with her until she's been napped and fed. Little tummies get hungry easily, tired and hungry toddlers are grouchy toddlers. We've had this discussion here before, but I think toddler leashes are wonderful tools. It allows the child to walk independently and not get lost. It's especially great for shopping trips, because the child can take things off the shelf and put it in the cart herself. She feels important if she can choose her own cereal and put it in the cart. When she starts to get fidgety, distract her with another game or song. When she's been good after a trip, tell her. "I'm so proud of you! You did so well today! What a big girl you are! It's fun taking you to the store when you help me like that!" And remember, "This two shall pass!"
