If the only way (back) into your lovers heart is by bribery, that is.. So just why DO we feel the need to shower our partners with gifts on special occasions AND when we apologise? It all seems pretty shallow to me.. Jewellery, chocolates, and flowers just seem like a badly thought out way of pleasing somebody.. So how do YOU make up or celebrate with your partner?
I think a long , heartfelt letter means more than anything. Just the fact that the person would take the time and the effort to write to me would mean so much more than letting go of the few moments it took to pick up flowers or sign a card.
I love books and the last month, when my bf gave me a nice whan and h wrote "For my angel" on the first page - I started to cry! I felt so special!
As far as making up goes, my husband and I rarely ever fight. But if we're ticked at one another, usually all it takes is to look at one another with a certain look and we start laughing because really, why bother getting upset over trivial things? Life is too short. We also communicate, we say what's bothering one another, and talk through it, get to the root of the problem, and find ways to resolve it. But another way we might make up is by making love. That's always a winner. We don't make up by using material possesions. To me, being honest and communicating takes the cake.
I have been with the same partner for 30 years, and have never been given flowers, candy, or anything else really, and I feel supremely gifted everyday. We are quite non-materialistic, and have never bought each other presents, for any occasion. We have both made each other cards, bookmarks, etc. and homemade gifts. If we have a disagreement, it is usually resolved quickly and easily, and there need not be any bribery, or buying of forgiveness. Honest Communication is the gift we can give each other, and it's alot more earnest and effective than a dozen roses or a box of candy. ( I do love flowers and candy, though. Sniff-sniff, yum-yum)). It is better to give these gifts when everything is going good, rather as a substitute for working it out. There is no substitute for being real, and being willing to talk through our problems.
blaaaahhhhhhhh I hate I'm sorry gifts, they're fake and stupid and remind me of what the person did wrong. I like flowers though, just to say hey I was thinking of you or hey great time...in fact that's kinda a requirment. I need the flower sending type, overly affectionate (without being creepy or stalkerish) type of guy or else i can't be manogomous because I know I won't be happy.
gifts on special occasions, I love it. I've never had an I'm-sorry gift. But the special occasion stuff, I love it, it's sweet and romantic, shows thought and caring and consideration. I don't mean gold jewelry, but something that's meaningful to me, that's just awesome.
I don't really care about gifts...Just spending time with my partner and being together is enough of an "I'm sorry" or a "You're special" gift. *shrugs* I don't really like flowers...they just end up dying anyway.
this reminds me of the saying nothing says i love you more than a hunk of carbon mined by waged slaves in africa refering to diamonds
Yeah, I cringe every time I see advertisements for diamond stores...Who could possibly be so amazed and flattered by such an expensive thing...where the money could've gone towards something else...like a charity, or a homeless person...etc..or even nice things for yourself like groceries or going out to dinner or something...diamonds and jewelery are such pointless things to give...People shouldn't have to prove their love with materialistic things that cost a bunch of money.
My husband and I don't really fight, and certainly not badly enough to haveto really "make up" afterwards. He's never bought me flowers, though he's never hesitated to pick a couple daisies or something and stick them in my hair. He's never bought me jewelry or chocolates. I never got an engagement ring and our wedding rings are plain silver bands... well, I also got diamonds and white gold, but that's because it's my grandmother's wedding ring and just one of those 'family things'. We've never gone to any incredibly fancy dinners, never really had a honeymoon, and we don't give each-other Valentines' gifts or anything. So I guess I'm with you on this one. We just don't see why we should waste so much money on things that we don't need when we already know we love each-other. We prefer to talk about what's going on instead of fighting... and the fact taht he works and pays rent/bils, and I stay home to take care of the housework, cooking, etc. is enough to say "I love you" every day.
You can't win your way into someone's heart by bribery. You may regain their affections, but if you have to bribe your way in with material goods (especially if we're talking fancy jewelry) that's prostitution, not love. When my fiance and I fight, we do not use material possessions to make up. We talk. And talk. And talk... Until we've resolved the issue and any other underlying issues that may be the real reason something relatively petty sparked a fight. On the other hand, we do enjoy giving to one another, both for special occasions and just because. The price is irrelevant, it's the thought that counts -- like when he notices that one of my favorite authors has a new book out and picks it up for me, just because he knows I will like it. Oh, and I do like getting flowers, too... If he buys the living plant instead of cut flowers, they don't just wind up in the trash can (unless you forget to water them, of course!)!
