picky eater

anybody else dealing with a picky eater? Xander Jake pretty much blows a gasket if every meal doesn't involve macaroni and cheese. This is starting to apply to breakfast as well.( he throws a fit but I am NOT serving a.m. mac and cheese) now thanksgiving is coming up and besides cleaning the entire house "company clean" and preparing an entire thanksgiving dinner by myself I get to listen to my mother critize me if I give him mac and cheese for thanksgiving. At least he'll probably eat the cresent rolls and the pie. I really don't worry about his eating,he's 3 this is how they are at 3 but I just don't like it when other people criticize.

 

Oh my goodness yes. My daughter is 3.5 years old and has, within the past several months, gone on a major picky fit. She used to be the good eater out of my twins (she has a twin brother) and now, there's not much she'll eat. They seem to have switched personalities again, which they tend to do on a frequent basis!

She's even taken to pretending she's eating, thinks it will fool me. She'll act like she's taking bites and chewing it, but she doesn't even eat a single piece of it.

Her picky eating habits are driving me batty! I worry about her, I want to be sure she's getting enough food in her, and unfortunately, she inherited one of my traits that I had as a little girl too. Only wanting to drink fluids and shunning actual food. It's crazy!

I'm sure it's a phase that she'll grow out of, so I'm not too-too worried though.

Hey, if the kid wants mac and cheese for Thanksgiving, let him have it! Maybe just give him a tiny bit of every thing else on his plate too, and let him pick. You never know, maybe he'll try some of it. Or, maybe not.

 

Yeah, the pickiness thing is really irritating. Meleah won't eat most things. I am always trying to convince her that she can't be avegetarian if she doesn't eat vegetables. She went through a phase where she only wanted dill pickles and chicken noodle soup.

 

A lady I used to babysit had a pick eater... and she used her food proccesor to chop up veggies and pureed them and then mixed them in with his mac'n' cheese adn he never knew... but she made sure he got some nutrition... jsut an idea.

 

I used to eat all of the veggies as a kid, but my sister was he mac and cheese/hot dog/hamburger kid. My mom tricked her by giving her a veggie burger and said it was a hamburger. Good luck!

 

I have a solution for all of you.

Now, I'm not a parent, but I've watched lots of parenting shows and it has worked thus far for my nephew.

You put what you want them to eat in front of them. If they choose not to eat it, you sit there until they do...if they are there all night, you put it back in the refrigerator and give it to them for lunch the next day. Pretty soon, they'll be hungry enough to eat it.

OR

Compromise. You say, "OK, you can have some mac and cheese, but only if you eat your broccoli first" or whatever...


I'm not a parent and I don't know what your parenting styles are, but both have worked for my nephew and he's not nearly as picky as he used to be.

My sister is 16 and all she STILL eats is chicken nuggets and french fries (and always has since she was old enough to eat solids), so my suggestion is to bite this in the butt and do something about it ASAP. I'd hate for your children to end up like her!

 

I agree - my flatmate (who is a bit psycho but this isn't the place to discuss that) has two kids who are 4 and 7. The 4 year old eats almost anything (including wasabi on sushi) but the 7 year old is very picky. Generally the tactic used is a reward system - eat however much of one thing and you get dessert. Don't eat it and you don't get dessert but everyone else around you will have it, that sort of thing.

 

my kids were both very picky eaters, until I started working on food allergy/sensitivity issues. They would only eat stuff with wheat, sugar, and/or dairy in it. Turns out those were the foods we most needed to avoid. Now that they have gotten past the very real addiction to those food items (we experienced scary withdrawal when cutting back too fast, even!), they eat a much more varied, healthier diet.

making a big deal out of picky eating is a really good way to train your kids to have eating disorder. I very firmly believe in teaching my kids to listen to their bodies. To eat when they feel hungry, as much or as little as they want in order to not feel hungry anymore, rather than having to eat because the clock says it's time to eat, or eating everything I give them just because it's on their plate. And we have extended that to paying attention to how certain foods make them feel. This way, they choose not to eat gluten or sugar because they recognize why I don't want them to, they know it makes them feel bad, and *not* simply because I told them so.

 

He's YOUR kid, feed him what HE wants.....

As for the "Put the food in front of him and he can't have anything else." Uh, that may work for rare cases, where there isn't any neurological involvement, if the child ISN'T sensitive enough to start vomiting at the sight of certain foods, or if it is a food the child likes, but just knows there is dessert and doesn't want dinner. BUT, in many cases, and with kids with Sensory problems, this "treatment" is cruel and unusual. And it doesn't solve ANYTHING, it just develops the dinner table as a Battle Ground. And BEING a mother of 20 years and having had some kids who will eat ANYTHING and a child who has food texture and smell issues and only eats about 10 food (yep, one of them mac and cheese) I cannot recommend THIS treatment of a child, like Terrapin's who has Sensory and Neuro issues as well.

Terrapin, he's YOUR kid, give him what you want and let your mother know "You had your chance to raise your kids, THIS is my kid and I'll do it my way. NOW, the issuse is CLOSED or I will leave the room WITH MY CHILD." THIS IS PROPER TREATMENT of pain in the ass parents and inlaws, and I recommend it much more highly over trying to force children to eat something they don't want to. (I know you would never force a child in any way, you are too sweet.) I had to do this with MY inlaws as well. It worked. Rather "offend" an adult who should know better than harm a child who knows nothing other than "that brocolli will make me vomit if I have to even look at it."

The mouth is an ORAFICE, trying to force something into an orafice of anyone,physically OR emotionally, much less a child with Sensory issues, is tantamount to assault. And starving them, if they won't eat what YOU say they should is about as bad.

Annie, I doubt your sister has eating problems because she was "allowed" to.

She most likely has Sensory and neurological issues, none of which can be solved by force or intimidation OR even "comprimise."

Kids don't refuse to eat, if they WANT to eat something. Not unless they feel it is the ONLY way they can have any control in their own home. Usually, kids who were forced to eat as children (either through intimidation or force) are more likely to develop REALLY serious eating disorders in adolescence. IF a child refuses a food, chances are, they have a good reason, an allergy, food intolerance, texture or smell issues, ect. Kids DO NOT refuse food just to piss people off, UNLESS they feel it is the ONLY place where they will get the attention, and in that case, it is the parent's fault for making the dinner table a battle ground.

ANY Occupational Therapist will tell you, food is a very complicated issue, if simply suggesting a food begets a strong reaction from a child, it is best to allow them to have what they DO want (as long as it is marginally nutrative, meaning mac and cheese, not candy) because that strong reaction is not "spoiling" but may signify a situation where force is only going to make the situation worse.

Terrpin's son appears, from her desription, to have Sensory and Neurological differences from the some other children. HE isn't not eatintg to piss anyone off, or to get attention. If the only thing he will eat, at the present time, is mac and cheese, then there is a good reason for it. It may be the ONLY food his sensitive system will allow right now, and Terrapin is sensitive herself to realize this.

When I make dinner, I always include at least one thing that Sage will eat. I make enough for everyone. Who cares if it isn't the "Traditional" food for a certain Holiday? Put a big ass bowl of Mac & Cheese on the table, and invite ALL, including your son, to partake.

I also always have other foods available. I always ask Sage, "Would you like to try a little asparagus?" or "Do you think a small bit of gravy would make your potatoes taste better?" On rare occasion, she will actually TRY the new food, but usually she says, "NO." And we move on, give her the damn potatoes or mac and cheese or jelly sandwhich or bowl of rice or pasta and THEN make NO BIG DEAL out of it. THAT is what would cause a problem that would be harder to fix that what we already have.

Offer, accept what the child says, and MOVE ON.

 

AMEN!!!!!!!!

:hurray:

 

with extremely sensitive children (like mine, like Maggies, and others) and with myself, I have found that the same sensitivities which cause me to gag just thinking about certain foods, much less putting them on my plate (heaven forbid my food touches each other on the plate) or in my mouth... oh, lost my train of thought... Anyway, eliminating certain allergens from my diet and lifestyle in general has made it possible for me to actually eat food that before would make me puke. It's like the sensitivities are exponential, and too much of any of them adds up and makes it impossible for me to tolerate things that otherwise wouldn't bother me. The book Maggie and I suggested in that other thread helps explain this much better than I ever could. Once you get rid of some of the things that bother you, other things don't bother you quite so much anymore.


gee... I feel like this isn't making any sense. And I hate harping on the gluten intolerance/sensitivity issues my family faces. But, eliminating gluten, in particular, there are other problem foods for us, has enabled us to function much more like normal people in many different ways. I know that my pickiness as a child was entirely due to the fact that I am allergic to so many different things. I know that my parents' refusal to address those allergies is what most likely led to many of my adult health complaints, not to mention my social awkwardness and overly sensitive nature. Ingesting food that is bad for us doesn't just affect our digestive system, it affects our entire body, which in turn affects our moods and our actions. When people crave a particular food item, or will not eat anything else, it's usuallly a sign of addiction and that particular food should be avoided. When I stopped eating particular foods suddenly, I experienced a withdrawal reaction that is worse than what the food causes me to experience, making me think that since I was no longer eating it, it couldn't possibly be the problem.

Here's a really good website on the subject of food sensitivity and how it affects different people in so many different ways.

 

Maggie and mamaboogie have good advice there
I think kids are more in tune with their bodies than adult; if something isn't doing them any good they'll know about it and their parents will too in they listen. I doubt very much a child would die of malnutrition from mac & cheese or whatever; it still has protein, carbs, calcuim and such. Of course children need nutrition but it's not always that simple.

There are things that you couldn't pay my brother and I enough to eat (especially bananas), and my parents have always respected that. We had to try everything, and they would offer it, but then let it go. So I would do the same with my children. If it's a serious problem then heavy handed tactics won't fix anything, or it's just be a quirk they get over soon enough if left alone.
Life is too short to fight like that.

 

In my days of desperation with my oldest son and his finicky eating habits several years ago, I tried the whole have your child eat what is put in front of him, and if he doesn't eat it, give it to him for the next meal. It didn't work for us at all and I felt positively horrible doing it. He just kept refusing to eat, and when he finally did eat, he vomited all over the table. I said never, ever again.

Now it's like, I put what we're eating in front of the kids. If they eat it, fine. If they don't, fine. They all know that if they don't eat, they can't have treats and mommy won't be doing short order cooking, so I give them the choice. I refuse to force them to eat, it's just wrong in my opinion.

 

Danny goes through phases now and then when he'll only eat toast, or he'll only eat oatmeal WITH raisins, or whatever. During the day, we just eat what we want, whenever we're hungry. At night we all sit down together for dinner, and I make a variety of foods, and Danny usually tries at least a bite or two, even if he doesn't really like it, or its unfamiliar. If he's still hungry, I make him something else. I don't think food is something worth fighting with your child about. I save my "fighting" for things like forks in electrical sockets, running in the road, putting paper in his brother's mouth, etc. Why fight about food? Food is just fuel to keep our bodies going. It's not a toy or a punishment or a way to show off our kids. Just fuel.

 

I don't personally know your sister, or why she only ate chicken nuggets. I doubt it is due to choice. My youngest child doesn't eat "only" chicken nuggets, but has a limited diet, (and we did try a gluten free diet, for a while, and while it worked for a while for my oldest child, for a while, it didn't seem to make a difference for Sage, althoiugh I have seen kids where it is the difference between night and day, like Mamaboogie's kids and herself.) Sage has complained, to me, that her food is kind of "boring" (and that is not a word my children ever use lightly or often) and she WISHES she could like other foods. She is ALWAYS offered other foods, and we have her enrolled in a Sensory Integration Program, to help with this. I find it hard to beleive, parenting 4 kids, and seeing many others, that a child CHOOSES such a limited diet. From what I have seen, these kids are either Food Intolerant, and things like a gluten or dairy free diet would help (worked for one of my kids, not the other with serious neuro isseus, all kids are different) have SND, like Sage has, or have Control Issues, where they feel the only thing they can control, in their lives, is what enters their bodies. These last kids (especially girls) have nearly ready made Eating Disorders. Annie, what does your sister eat now? Only nuggets? Does she have and ED? Or did she outgrow the food problems? Does she eat normally? Did she suffer from malnutrition? (My Sage is on several Food Based Vitamins, with amino acid supplements.) t would be interesting to know.

I see where you are going with this. I know some familes who seem to think that kids "won't like" anything other than pop, hot dogs, nuggets and candy, and feed their kids accordingly. This is silly, as children should always be offered diverse food, but allowed to choose, and to refuse, too.

 

smiling mama, what you see in your boy is completely normal. And yours is a healthy response. Really, one wants to save the Battles for rare and really dangerous situations, and, of course, as you know, never, ever make the dinner table a Battle Ground.

 

First off, I have to state again that your children are adorable. Skye isn't really a picky eater, he eats almost anything I put in front of him, or at least he will try it, which is all I really ask. If he doesn't like something, I'm not going to force him to eat it, I just want him to at least try it. My problem seems to be more of the "how much" question. He always seems to eat a little bit, then he trows the food on the floor and wants to play. I keep him at the table until everyone is finished, and even though he acts like he's done, I know he's still hungry. Should he not be having the snacks between meals? I don't give him crap snacks full of sugar or anything, it's usually something like bananas or apples or such, but is this what interferes with meal time? It doesn't really seem like it to me, it seems more like he is just to busy to stop and eat. I don't know. He doesn't get a ton of snacks, but he does get some.

 

Toddlers often will eat 8 or more times a day. This is healthy and normal. I don't think a baby whose tummy is only the size of his fist needs to wait until meals if he is hungry.

Most todddlers only eat SMALL amounts of food at frequent intervals, they are still, techinally, babies. There is nothing wrong with letting him have healthy snacks, landscaper. You're doing a great job.

Let him decide his intake at meals, with the occasional reminder "Hey, dude, you wanna eat your food?" when he finds the dog walking by, or a dust mote or his fingers are more interesting than his food. Then let him tell you, either in words or signs or whatever he does, that he needs a snack, whenever.

 

makes sense, funny you should mention the dog, hehehe. Feeding the dog is one of his favorite things. It's gotten to the point where we have to put the dogs in another room and shut the door during mealtime! It all started when I started teaching him to give the dogs their treats.