Winter Paine

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by DroopySnoopy, Nov 14, 2006.

  1. DroopySnoopy

    DroopySnoopy The ORIGINAL Dr. Droop

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    I just wrote this as I was sitting here...you all got the inner poet inspired in me. :D

    Here goes.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Winter Paine

    Looking through a windowpaine
    underneath a winter rain
    I feel you
    I see you in the light

    Autumn never brought a rain
    the summer sun could wash away
    I know you
    I hold you tonight

    Walk with me
    comfort me
    in this visceral world we all need a way

    Love with me
    become me
    through this lonely night I feel you through the rain

    Whisper out
    scream and shout
    I can feel the child in your heart

    Walk these miles
    Cry a while
    Come to me I'll make this all okay

    Feel this heart
    Take us apart
    Build us into love that won't subside

    I could have lied
    Could have ran
    Couldn't deny the fire in your eyes

    Burning high
    Flaming out
    Believe in me you'll never be without

    Take this hand
    Hold it tight
    Let it comfort you throughout the night.

    -Tony
     
  2. DroopySnoopy

    DroopySnoopy The ORIGINAL Dr. Droop

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    I think maybe people are surprised I can actually be serious for a change. :)
     
  3. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    i like the very first 2 verses the best

    i thnk since i've lost touch writing serious stuff like that, i've kinda lost how to grasp it as well

    but it's still nice
     
  4. DroopySnoopy

    DroopySnoopy The ORIGINAL Dr. Droop

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    Well, for me, it's beautiful because it shows a raw emotion and vulnerability to both characters in the story, especially the ''opposite'' member of the equation. It bears the determination of the writer to protect and sooth the subject, calling her to run to him "Walk these miles
    Cry a while
    Come to me I'll make this all okay
    " and aiming to bring her to the realization that he will be her comforter and security through the rough storms ahead.

    And the line,
    ''Burning high
    Flaming out
    Believe in me you'll never be without" is supposed to represent the ideal that love is not always perfect, and that some battles will surely be fought, but that eternally, love is the strongest bond of all.
     
  5. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    I like it, and your explanation makes perfect sense. It sucks when such a call is met with rejection, so I'll just conclude for my own peace of mind that the speaker in this poem gets his girl.
     
  6. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

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    Rock on, smooth cadence and simply lovely.
     
  7. DroopySnoopy

    DroopySnoopy The ORIGINAL Dr. Droop

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    Thank you guys. I was nervous to post it at first, but I wanted to see how others viewed it. The whole story within the writing is pretty much a true to life thing to me. I have fallen madly in love, with an absolutely wonderful woman, and the night I wrote this, I could not take her off my mind, not that I ever WANTED to.

    I wanted it to convey the feeling of trust and commitment between partners, and that feeling of knowing that someone out there would walk the earth for you and your safety and comfort and happiness.

    I would like to say that every line in this story comes straight from the heart, and I only hope that others can feel the love shining through each and every line.

    Thanks guys. :)

    -Tony
     
  8. DroopySnoopy

    DroopySnoopy The ORIGINAL Dr. Droop

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    Sorry for bumping here, but I had a really rough night, last night and I pulled this out of my notebook and read it again, and it actually made me feel a bit better.

    I guess there is great power in words after all.
     
  9. J0hn

    J0hn Phantom

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    Enjoyed reading that poem. Had a dream last night that kind of inspired me to write a book. But anyway, I See so many poems on here that don't get any recognition. i have taken a dab at poetry but remain invisible. Guess this world is rather bizarre:(
     
  10. Faerie Jane

    Faerie Jane Member

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    Beautiful imagery DS. This peice is quite lovely. Thank you for sharing.
     
  11. J0hn

    J0hn Phantom

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    Just to say a new arts creativity whatever has just landed in the uk forums Art and creativity etc section. Check the huge Welcome title.


    You,me and anyone else might stand more chance of gaining recognition. Though any recognition on here is counted for and appreciated. I hope not to be the invisible man like so many talented gems on here and that someone would atleast say something. :)
     
  12. DroopySnoopy

    DroopySnoopy The ORIGINAL Dr. Droop

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    Thank you, J0hn, I will give it a look. :)
     
  13. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    i still really like those first 2 verses :)
     
  14. DroopySnoopy

    DroopySnoopy The ORIGINAL Dr. Droop

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    Thank you!
     

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