Help out a n00b! haha

good luck

 

The first time is rarely be the best. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to improve.

 

Yep. I sure will have plenty of time, being that it didn't happen. Once again, I am left high and dry. All she ever does, is tell me things she wants to do, and how things are going o happen, then when the time comes, these things never do happen. I'm so sick of this. Whatever, guess I should be used to this by now.

 

oh hamburgers

 

Jeez I would be getting pretty p/od by now if I were you. I think I'd sit her down and ask her to be honest with you... that you're ok if nothing happens but you need to know ahead of time, you don't need to be told one thing and have another happen aka LYING. *ehem*.

 

Oh this break was awesome!! Not only does she talk about sex all the time with me weeks before this, getting me all excited, jut to say she "isn't ready yet", and start blaming shit on me because it "seems to be all I care about" and she "doesn't want to deal with that shit". Not only that, BUT, she won't even fucking makeout with me!!!! Tonight is our last night together for maybe a month, and, as you can see, I am typing on a computer because she ONCE AGAIN pulls this, "I'm sorry I'm just so tired" crap on me, and falls asleep. I have had absolutely NO physical intimacy with her since maybe tuesday, because every single night is another damn excuse. And, the best part is, if I ever say anything to her, I get yelled at, because its apperantly all I care about, and I apperantly "freak out" if I don't get it. Please helpme out, I don't know what the fuck to do, and you have no idea how much this is driving me completely insane. I love her with all o my heart, but I am a physical person by nature, and I can't take this shit.

 

You two need to sit down and talk this out -before- you try for somethign physical and get turned down. Tell her that all the little touches mean tons to you, even just making out from time to time is necessary for you to feel happy in a relationship. That's not an unrealistic expectation. Tell her that the teasing game is driving you crazy and not in a good way, tell her it's ok to not be ready for sex but to just freaking tell you ahead of time instead of this suggestive, teasing thing that never has any follow through.

You two absolutely need to talk this out. And before the making out thing is attempted, so it's less of a reactionary thing from you, so you're a little less frustrated with it to start off with (well, theoretically)

 

you've ALREADY talked it out butters!

the question you need to ask is...HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO PUT UP WITH THIS?

i KNOW you love her
i KNOW you want her

but DOES SHE love you?
does SHE want you?

it sounds like she's totally messing you around...you care so much about this...she doesn't seem to. And it's not like she's not ready either, because she's not a virgin and you are!

i say dump her selfish ass.

 

Brother, man I'm sorry to say this, but it just isn't working out...you should not feel guilty about a thing...you have done nothing wrong....she is not being honest with you, and that needs to be addressed.

Sorry, man, I hope it does work out for you, I know you love her...but she needs to be more considerate of you.

 

Ha, It sounds like this girl is friends with some of the chicks I've met. I've ran into this type of thing many times before; I think a lot of guys have. My first thought is that she really doesn't know whats going on. She doesn't understand that its this big a deal to you. If you all are in a solid, healthy relationship I don't believe she would do this on purpose without talking about it. I think a lot of times chicks just don't realize thats whats going on.
The best thing I can tell you is to be completely honest with yourself and her. Go on and bring it up; talk about it. Hopefully she can be honest with you.

 

Dude Butters, I really don't think your girl is ready. I saw this thread before and I was going to say something but just in case I was wrong, I didn't want to put any thoughts into your head before your big wonderful night. I knew just from reading all this that she wasn't ready to have sex with you. It's terribly obvious.


It's weird cause everytime I read your threads I know exactly what your talking about, usually people leave all the details out but you have a good way of explaining things.

I don't think your doing anything wrong, but I don't think she's doing anything wrong eiether. Girls have a different level of intimacy then guys have. I know your a good guy, you seem like a really good guy, so please don't take anything I say to harshly. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. However I get the impression that your pushing this whole sex thing a little too far for her. She's simply not ready to have sex with you. And I think there's a lot more behind it then what there appears to be. Just because you are ready to have sex, doesn't mean that she is. And that's something that you two both have to be ready for at the same time, so you two can both enjoy it. Otherwise, she's always going to have it in the back of her head that she was pressured into it. Even though it seems like your not pressuring her, maybe you are.

You have to remember that she just got out of an abusive relationship, she's not use to having sex with anybody but her ex. You putting your hands all over her and touching her is a whole new feeling to her, she's not use to it and she needs time to adjust. She's about to have sex with a completely different person. It may not be a big deal to you but it definitely is to her. It doesn't matter how long she needs, it's not fair to her that she's giving you something that she's not even ready for. She has it in the back of her head that you are only going to love her if she has sex with you. And your already upset, see? So she was right to not have sex with you because you are turning out to be exactly what she thought.

Maybe I'm wrong.....I probably am. But that's just the impression I get. The other thing that may be going on here is that you are virgin, that's got to mean something to you somewhere in your heart. Maybe she doesn't want to take that from you because maybe she isn't sure exactly how she feels about you. She really doesn't want to hurt you. I think she really enjoys your company and I think she loves the way that you treat her, but you really have to question if she really loves you or not. Your a loveable guy, but sometimes there's a higher level of attraction for somebody else then there is with the other person your with. I think that you should sit down and talk to her about it all and just tell her to be honest with you about everything, ask her if this is really what she wants, reassure her that you will wait to have sex with her when she is ready, she will tell you when she is ready, tell her to stop teasing your dick so much because it bothers you, it takes two people to run a relationship smoothly but be the better guy and just sit back and wait and let her make up her mind.

Another thing that you need to consider is that she obviously isn't a sexually aggressive person, she even told you that she was afraid that if you two had sex, then that's all you would care about, that's all you would want to do everynight and she doesn't want that. So remember that once you have sex with her, it's not going to be an every night thing, and since you two are in a long distance relationship, she probably won't want to have sex every other weekend eiether considering it's the only time you two see eachother so if you have sex everytime you see her, then again, that's like telling her that's all you care about.

Just take a deep breath man and say awww fuck it......not to her, just to the sex.....for now at least. And if you can't wait, then you should end it before she or you ends up getting hurt again. I know you really like her, and it may seem like she is the one for you but you can't agree on everything together, you need to ask herself if this what you want as well..............

And as for her telling you that she was ready to have sex with you, she probably was at the moment planning to have sex with you so for the hell of it, my guess is that something caused her to change her mind while you two were away from eachother. Thats why you should never plan to have sex, just let it happen, if it happens.

I love you man and I hope it all works out for you...... BIG HUGS.......

 

Now I feel awful...I reread the whole thread, and after CFJ's post, I realized how wrong I was. Your girlfriend isn't wrong for feeling the way she does, if she needs more time, there's good reason for it. I hope it all works out for you both...I just don't know what else to say.

 

have you read butter's OTHER post, where he says his g/f CONSTANTLY teases him even though she KNOWS it annoys him? how she talked to him about it and said she WAS ready? how she is selfish and doesn't seem to care that she upsets him?

read the other thread...i'm sorry but this girl sounds like a total bitch/.

 

Yea, actually, I did read it...my girlfriend and I talked about it for a long time the other night, (she's read it too) and it's a bit more complicated than just black and white. There's more to it. I don't really know what to say, but in a way it seems that they are both right. He has his reasons, and so does she.