What do you not allow in your house for your kids?

I'm not talking about food - we've had a lot of discussions about various diets and so on.

I mean things like those godawful Bratz Dolls or music with explicit lyrics.

For instance, when I was a kid, my mother refused to let me watch Ren And Stimpy cartoons cos they were so violent. The same is true of the Power Rangers. I had little to no interest in these shows but it wasn't the same for other kids my age who simply couldn't understand why I didn't watch them religiously like they did after school.

My friend (who lived on a quaker commune for a few years) didn't have a tv till she was 11. It just wasn't a priority - there are better things to spend one's money on.

I was allowed ONE (and only one) Barbie doll and ONE My Little Pony and was instead encouraged to read and build forts for my entertainment, using my imagination. (I ended up burying my barbie in the garden when I was about 9 years old. )

SO what do you guys forbid, restrict, steer your kids away from? And why?

 

When mine were growing up...I didnt allow toy guns ....I know im going to hear a lot of things about how stupid that was...but I didnt , and they all grew up with a healthy respect for real guns and the damage they can inflict.

 

I also have never encouraged guns or violent toys of any kind....

 

violence. violent toys, cartoons, movies, people. I have no problem with real guns, and teaching children a healthy respect for them, and when they are mature enough, the proper way of handling them. I do have a big problem with toy weapons of any sort. Weapons are not toys, they are tools, and should be treated with utmost respect.


but I do not forbid anything. I tell my kids why I don't like certain things, and it's up to them to decide for themselves. I have been known to get rid of certain toys I didn't like, but the kids always have the option of getting them back if they miss them and want them in a reasonable amount of time, after three months it goes to the thrift store.

 

No toy guns for us either,or anything violent or military like army toys. Killing people isn't a game. I let Kali have Barbies when she was little but we talked alot about her unrealistic shape and how materialistic she is so when the Bratz came along my kid found them as vulgar as I do. Early on I felt like the best way to handle the materialism and hidden sexist messages in toys and cartoons was to point it out,make conversation about it rather than ban it outright. My son is a little young to understand yet but as he grows we will talk about the macho nonsense and violence they target to boys and also how bogus the female roles children see are. Also we don't freak out about toy gender,like my son has a play kitchen and my daughter had tools,that sort of stuff is real life and why should it be segregated.

 

My husband "won" the toy gun argument, so my son has a toy musket for dressup. (sigh) He uses it to "hunt bears, and shoot animals for food" when he & my daughter play together. And honestly, in that context I haven't had the problem with it that I thought I would.

I avoid Barbies, (though I don't have a problem with Kelly dolls) Bratz and a host of other dolls that seem disproportionate for one reason or another. My daughter has a few Waldorf dolls that go everywhere with us that she can mother, and an American Girl knockoff for when she wants to dress & undress a doll in a myriad of outfits. My son had a doll when he was younger too... it was really odd to see him breastfeeding it while I nursed his baby sister, but - well, we let it go & he figured it out pretty quick

I avoid video games for my son where the enemy is human or human-like. He does have a few violent games... but they're the kind I played in the 80's and NOT the eerily realistic gore-flying-everywhere games.

I censor the television too - we watch a lot of Animal Planet, and not a whole lot of anything else. Nothing specific comes to mind immediately, we just try to spend our television time watching things that we can learn from... or watching movies.

Music issues have not come up in our house yet. The kids like to listen to the oldies radio station or to mama & daddy's CCM & celtic CD's... sometimes they'll surf the radio for interesting "new stuff," but so far they haven't really found anything that I would object to.

I prefer toys that require them to use their imagination. Things that don't plug into the wall, require batteries, or have one very speficic & obvious use. Legos are great, silks are awesome, puppets are cool... most of the toys in our home have been chosen because they can be played with dozens of different ways, depending on the kids' mood or phase at the moment.
love,
mom

 

I am a lot slacker with what I ban now that what I did almost two decades ago as a new parent. I still don't go for toy guns (I use real guns for subsistance hunting) or other violent toys and games. It always amazed me that two pony tailed little hippie boys still managed to play army or cop using a stick for a gun.

Years ago I forbid Barbi and TV, but Barbi just showed up one day and multiplied. My 6 y/o daughter now has the largest Barbi collection in the west passed down from her two teenage sisters (sigh). I still refuse to buy things like the Bratz, but I just quit worrying when one showed up.

 

My daughter is still only two months old, but I don't plan on forbidding anything.
I had toy guns and knives when I was little. I haven't killed anyone yet, and I'm not overly violent. I played gorey video games and I don't try any of that in real life.

 

I have two boys age two years and 4 months. Toy guns or knives are not allowed (we threw out a sword and a lightsaber already) Video games are also not allowed (to my husbands dismay) nor will they ever be. Not even the "educational" ones. We have plenty of books, puzzles, ride on toys, musical instruments, a kitchen set, cars, trucks, dolls, trains and stuff like that. ​

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Three of my girlfriends have daughters close to my sons age and they're starting to get into Bratz and shit like that. They even have bratz bookbags and TVs! I refuse to buy it for them. ​

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I don't allow negativity in my home.

 

RE: Bratz - Ian has to watch himself at work, because every time someone comes in to buy Bratz fabrics, he wants to go off on a tangent about how they have no noses, are totally disproportionate, etc. I saw that new Barbie bust toy, with the big head and hair, and I was disgusted to see that they redesigned her face to look more like the Bratz! As if she wasn't unrealistic enough!

Hear, hear!

 

in my home i don't allow disrespect we are equal. Absolutely no negativity whatsoever. My stepdaughter has a tendency of Sighing or trying to over exadurate things . our car broke down so she was making noises ahhhhhhhhhhh argh ohhhhhh ah hmmmmmmmmmm this is a long time 5 min i finally had to say . " I think that is enough " you are 10 years old. You need to have a little more respect for daddy and i . Please remember that we're fortunate to have a car to fix right? Shes like i suppose... I just stopped. and ignored. I can't step over toes and over my husbands boundaries i just let things be and let him deal with her because its his child , but when it comes to just me in the car i say something and tell him after wards and he'll deal with it. That way there she knows she can't treat people the way she does sometimes. Over all shes a very good kiddo!!

 

We have ruled out guns and other elements of violence like superheroes or the military. However, DS will find a stick or build legos into the shape of a gun. He is constantly playing superheroes. There was a good article in this month's issue of Mothering Mag about good guys vs bad guys and little boys. They suggested that you ask the child questions about what they are playing so you can explain things to them but not discourage them. Most of the time Dakota's guns just shoot water.

We also discourage any corporate logos. Although he is developing an atraction to Lightning McQueen. And he did have Thomas the Tank trains for a couple of years. He finally got tired of them. I encouraged him to play with them because they are not battery operated and he had to actually get involved with playing with them. We discourage anything with noise or batteries, or electric. I think it's much better forhim to play with toys that you have to play with instead of just watching. Fortunately, having a boy, we don't have to dealwith the whole Barbie thing.

We encourage people to buy things that require the imagination. For Yule, DH is building DS a board that will be covered with switches to flip and dials to turn and things like that. He had the greatest time when we put the holiday lights outside. The lights are on a dimmer switch. He spent close to an hour watching what it did when he turned the dial or flipped the switch on and off.

His favorite thing is legos. He can turn them into anything he wants them to be.

Kathi

 

growing up my dad absolutely refused to buy us any videogames, even when we tried to get him to buy a supernintendo from our neighbors because it had a jeopardy game with it. my stepdad on the other hand loves to buy videogames and computer games so my two younger sisters play those a lot. my brother had guns but there was a very strict rule about not pointing it at people. the girls never wanted toy guns (one was a major tomboy, but has always preferred sports and cars and action figures, the younger one is a complete girly girl and likes to dress up and watch cartoons and eat lots of junk food... something my mom didn't really allow with my brother and i), but my 14 yr old sis does hunt with my stepdad now. my mom and dad were relatively poor when we were growing up so we didn't really have the money for much stuff anyway, my mom and stepdad now have quite a bit of money to spend on the younger ones though, and i think that in itself has made a big difference.

 

We avoid anything "Licensed" to movies, TV shows ect. IMO, Disney, Looney Toons, Cartoon Network ect have ENOUGH money, and refuse to pimp out my kid to advertise for them, at MY expense. So, we have left stores with no shoes or clothes, when there were really none with no logos on them. I did break down ONCE and buy Sage a Little Mermaid lunch box, because we were in a hurry and she needed a lunch box the next day. But, we got a generic dinosaur thermos and back pack.

NO BRATZ. Sage hates hates hates hates hates them. It amazes me that you can go into Target, and not be able to find a wooden checkers set ("duh, we only have those at Christmas." Checkers is a SEASONAL item all of a sudden?) or a plain baby doll, but they have an entire AISLE, both sides with Bratz crap. Sage, when she was about 2 and a half said to me, "I hate that Stawberry Shortcake girl. I hate her toys, I hate her dolls, I hate her clothes, I hate her toothpaste, I hate her game and I HATE her TV show." When I told her 'hate' was a pretty strong emotion, she said, "Yeah, mama, but I really hate that stupid doll." I don't know where she gets her emotional vehemence.

I, personally, don't have a problem with Barbie, as my girls were raised with womyn with good role models and good values. I can understand why people don't like the doll though. IMO, Bratz sexualized CHILDREN, while Barbie IS an adult, so children can pretend grown up things with the doll. (I know my Barbies were always banging each other, Ken, and mostly GI Joe, and I think it was a proper channeling of sexual energy for a 10 year old girl, but kids get started earlier on Barbie then before.) On that note, Sage has never played with Barbies, but my other two dds and my son have. ("OK, Lennon, you're 14, it's time to stop playing with Barbies, son. Put her dress back on. her" )

We also don't allow guns. Lennon did want some "historic" swords, when he was about 10, for the Renn Faire, so, letting him know they were not to be used on people or randomly played with, we allowed one or two WITH CosPlaying. He's been pretty good about the whole aggression thing, so I am not worried.

The only thing I have totally "Banned" is Marilyn Manson music and things like that. (I know I am gonna hear it from people.......hey, there aren't your children... ) I'm sorry, but Demon Worship just doesn''t cut it in our house. I think it is an extrememly TOXIC and NEGATIVE energy to bring into a home and a child's life. Again, this is MY opinion, your milage may vary. Only Sunshine asked for this stuff, when she went through and extrememly rebellious period, at about 14 or so. I told her, "I can't stop you from listening to it somewhere else. But, I cannot allow Devil Worship crap in my home." (That includes T shirts, posterts ect.) She tried to bullshit me into "He really isn't a real Devil Worshipper. That's an act." IMO, that's WORSE. I'd respect him more if he was NOT a poser, then. In the same vein, no OuiJu boards, for similar reasons, negative emotions and negative, lost spirts, I'd reather not have in my house, especially around children who don't know how to handle such things. Although, we did allow Sunshine to get a Tarot card set, with the understanding that she properly learn how to use it, repsect it, and not just "play" with it, and let us know if any negative energies were being caused by it. So far so good. (In fact, I think she has lost interest.)

 

we do not allow our kids to sleep out.

 

Do you mean outside, or at freind's houses? I am not familar with the term. It is scary to let your child sleep in a home, if you are not absolutely sure the parents, siblings ect are healthy people who would not harm a child. I can understand.

 

MM is a Satanist, but Satanists don't worship Satan. And, his music is extremely gorey. He's one of my favorite artists. He's pretty sadistic. I guess letting my mom read his biography is what persuaded her to get off my back about listening to him. His childhood was a pretty raw deal.
I think it's good that you didn't give in when she tried to persuade you. I knew a mama that said she wouldn't allow her daughter to have MM cd's, but she gave in after a good hour and a half whine session from the daughter.
I never much cared for the Ouija board. But, I did have tarot cards. I had to buy them myself. My mom said she didn't care that I have that stuff, but she wasn't going to be the one buying it for me. I went through a lot of that rebellious stuff. I thought I was a witch, I tried to join the church of Satan, I was gothic, I was punk, I was the type of kid no parent would want to deal with, but, my mama and papa dealt with it. Lol. I guess they knew it was just a phase.

 

Oh, it is to sleep over at a friend's house, at sleepover parties etc. It's not scary for me, it's just something my husband and I decided after thinking of our childhoods.

Yeah we dont know what goes in in the home... or who they have over, or whatever.


I mean we allow them to sleep over at my best friends, aunties, and grandparents... lord knows we looove that!

 

I plan on not allowing war toys... so no tanks, no guns, none of that crap. I don't think it had a bad effect on my husband or anything like that, I just don't see how it could be a positive thing.

I also have a big hate on for violent video games. So... because it seems that most video games are violent, there will be no video game player thingies in the house. If they really want to play a specific game they can rent the player and the game, with parental ok... as long as its not violent. I do plan on allowing those "v-smile" things if they really feel that they NEED a video game thingie.

One thing I will be a complete hard nosed freak about is bike helmets. Absolutely NO riding the bike, rollerblading, quading, or sledding without proper head gear. If we catch them riding their bikes without their helmets, it will be one week without use of the bike for the first offence. Second offence loses them the use of their bike for the rest of the summer... I've thought about this a bit,eh? haha