I need some help pumping up some words

In other words... you mean GOOD WRITING. That's a talent and a skill, has to be practised and worked on. You need a good vocabulary to write wel, if you have that, you're A for away!

 

Thanks for the advice Sentient, but I think that a theosaurus has been extinct for many millennia. In the light of DNA research I could be wrong, but if anyone spots one around the Central Park area, send me a PM. Hopefully I can catch it in time.

Mary Poppins makes a good point about good writing. It's important to read good books too to help build on the good vocabulary. I was reading Lord of the Rings by JRR the other day, and I found it unexpectedly difficult. It still looked brilliant, but I prefer the other stuff he wrote after he had the gender operation, the stuff about the little boy wizard with the scar on his head.

JRR Rawling had perfect opportunities to pump up some words in Flowership of The Ring when Gandalf fell off the bridge. Instead of little Frodo shouting 'Gandalf', he could have yelled "Gand-aaaaaaaalf!!!" and it would have been more dramatic and pseudocontemporary.

 

I read a book about a kid who stuck a bike pump up an elephants arsehole once and inflated it to the size of a planet then it flew off the bike pump and blew all around the universe and had a great time looking at everything.
Is that they type of book you mean?

I dont get you! You sound like a word nazi, or a punctuation commie
next you will be telling us to buy "Correct Punctuation of Her Majesties Noble Language" by Arfur Smalldik

 

You read books about sticking things in elephants' arseholes and you're calling ME a word Nazi? I think you need to lighten up a bit. Try reading Jason Dork's new book. Don't keep going on about people's spelling though, because we did that about a year ago and it got a bit boring. Maybe the fashion has just reached your village, but that's understandable when you've just joined civilization. Welcome to the forum sentient.

 

I didnt really read a book like that and I'm sorry for calling you a word nazi but I always like to get off on the wrong foot, it helps me to become a better dancer.
Do you tango or foxtrot, or shimmy
I can do the Charleston, really !
but I prefer the lambeth walk, oy !!

___________________________

 

Thesauruses (thesauri?) are tools of Satan. There's actually very few synonyms in the world. You might get two words that means very roughly similar things, but there's usually only one word that describes exactly what you want. So I guess it's okay to use a thesaurus to find words that are similar, but you should always make sure you know what the word really means once you've found it. "Flammable" and "inflammable" are synonymous and interchangeable, but most are not. Think of it like colours; "ruddy" and "scarlet" and "ruby" and "vermillion" all describe red things, but you'd never describe someone as having "ruddy" lips, or a room as having "ruby" wallpaper. It's the same with other words. Sadness and depression are two very different things, as are contentment and euphoria, so the words shouldn't be swapped.

Chances are the word you pick first will actually be the right one, and it's usually better to go back and see if it's as applicable earlier on as it is now.

 

"Her Majesty's", not "Her Majesties". Welcome to the possessive apostrophe.

(and I regularly read Burroughs and am currently reading Finnegans Wake, so don't bitch, there's a big difference between creative use of English and laziness/ignorance of it)

 

I can't tell if it's intentional (Tolkein fans swear it is, but they would, wouldn't they?) but it's a very wearing read, creating an incredible sense of hopelessness in the reader as it goes on, which mirrors the themes of the book. I'd argue strongly that it's just coincidence/uninspired writing though.

 

I agree with SC on this. I don't think that Tolkien realized the effect his trilogy would have on the public. If I remember correctly, I read an interview in which he said that he wrote Lord of the Rings as an experiment for a language he had created, and that people would be far better off reading younger authors (Jason Dork, for example).

LOTR suffers in many ways, because it wasn't meant as a novel. It was originally written as a series of linguistic notes, but some Cambridge students thought it would be a great laugh to sell it as a book, and see if any mug would buy it.

Like Hamlet, most people partially read it, and pretend to enjoy it, some even go as far as to pretend to understand it.

Of course, Shakespeare knew how to pump up words, so even though his shit is a bit dated by now, it still sounds like heavy shit and that's due to diaphragmatic pentameter, which produces a lot of phlegm so you should always have a bottle of water handy if you read it out loud.

BTW, Sentient, I think you've sussed out by now that noone's perfect here, so just fire away and don't worry about spelling too much. Everyone's on different levels of intoxication, so even though we might not understand each other, I'm sure we'll get there in the end.

 

You really shouldn't write when you're high.

 

Normally when I'm inubriated I tend to watch films. Yesterday I watched this film about penguins and it inspired me so much, I started pumping out words.

The film showed a tribe of Irishwomen who lived with this group of old penguins, but the penguins were really abusive? Anyway the leader of the penguins started attacking one of these Irish girls for talking to an outsider and I felt really bad. I shed a tear because I always thought penguins were good, and shit.

The penguins treated the girls like slaves. It was really Orwellian, very dystopian, and almost Solzenychian with traces of Machiavelianism and thalium radiation poisoning in it. Some of the girls escaped from the penguins in the end and one of them stayed because she coldn't afford a travelcard and went doolalee. The film is called The Magdalene Sisters if anyone is interested.

It will have you pumping out words like a rapper on crack if you see it, but it will make you hate penguins.

 

That is the only time I write, thus the high volume of errors.:dupe:

 

Great movie BTW
obviously youre not high now due to the small volume of errors in the above post

 

I just noticed the movie. I thought Daffyd the only gay in the village was from Wales not Canada and BTW can someone actually help me pump some words up.

I'm fed up of people calling for hugs when no one's done any work, or shit. Work first, hugs later.

Newcomers, you're asking people to give you assessments of your twobob stories and you can't even pump a couple of words to help the forum. In your shoes I would be embarrassed. Come on, people, don't be selfish. You can all do a lot better than that.:toetap:

 

instead of saying "how about that" you could kind of yodle like this "owowowowowo" and say " now then now then guys an gals owzabouts that then " and have a photograph at the end of the word which shows a policeman (thats slang for "pig") with a banana up his arse?

 

I like that. It's inextricable. No, I mean it's inastickaball. No, sod it I don't know what I mean. I am totally lost in a sea of words. They all flow around me taunting me with their wordiness. I mean full respect to Sir Jimmy Saville and all that, but he looks like a walking cadaver these days. 'Dear Jimmy, can you fix it for me so I can learn to seriously pump some words up? Perhaps you can send me one of your midgets to help me.'

Can someone help me with this one... The word TIXYLIX. How can I pump it up?

 

I saw Jimll fix it once and this old lady aged about 90 went on there and said can you fix it for me to find some foscils or something, well anyway he took her to this quarry where the workers always found foscils and he took her to the demolition tower. Then he said, now then now then we have a wonderful treat lined up here, but first I want you to press that button, so she did and this almighty fuckin explosion blew about 3000 ton of rock sky high. Then he said to her - did you realise you just did that?
and she said "did I? , well I'm ever so sorry! !
and jimmy saville looks at her and says
"now then I dont think anyone was expecting to see you get a bang like that "
and she said
"neither was I at my age luv"
Everyone I know absolutely cracked up at that !
I still laugh now when I think of it!


>

 

That's the thing about Jimmy. He aaaaaalways was good ay getting his rocks off.

 

Did you ever see "the office" by Ricky Gervais
I saw this episode once where this geezer who was a bit of a chauvenist jack-the-lad
was smoking in a bar and this woman said "do you mind not smoking by me" and he said "well sit somewhere else" so she said "Well I'm pregnant" and this guy says
"So why should I give up smoking just because you allowed some pathetic tosser to blow his beans up yer arse"?

which was nice
but well funny - I dont know why I told u that it just sprung 2 mind



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My paranoia is making the room spin.