We are bombarded by stories about the plight of pregnant underage young girls. Meanwhile, the universal remedy given by sex-ed experts is always "more sex education". Sex education courses opened in middle school, sex-ed exhibition on streets, and condoms distributed around colleges¡ªthey sell their remedy by all means¡ªyet the situation keeps going worse. Their theory, "once something's disclosed and made known, people would no longer feel curious and that thing would no longer be attractive", is as ridiculous as it appears to be reasonable. They claim as long as young people are fed up with rich knowledge of sex they themselves will set up a rightful principle. To uncover the secret curtain of sex they observe it to be a leisure activity that people can do without additional thought as long as condomed. This is just like in order to uncover the secret of a mine you lead people to step on, and in order to uncover the secret of electric shock you lead people to kiss the socket. The point here is, sex, is never anything that loses its attraction once made known. It is one of the strongest seductions to the kind of animal, human being. There is no lack of people who risk jail term or even lives to commit a crime called rape. If the sex-ed experts' theory is true, I can honestly take it they are all sexless, because sex is most no secret to them. The result of this kind of sex education (or encouragement more exactly) is a tragedy, daily displayed in hospitals. Then what education should take the place? A Chinese proverb says " it's easy to go from ordinariness to luxury, but hard to go back". It's easy for human to go from conservative to indulgent. But never back. To teach conservativeness takes good effort while indulgence is born in. Virginity is precious and important to a woman but not minor detail as feminists claimed. It's physiologically connected to the affection between her and her husband in the future. Why the birth rate in western countries keeps being low? It's because their divorce rate keeps being high. No one wants children in a marriage which can break up easily. Why the divorce rate is high? It's because women in those countries have slept with different men since small. Hence the physiological affection between the spouses is very week, so is the marriage. Woman will have super strong affection with the man she first time has sex with, but less strong with the second and descending with the followings. An old Chinese saying, "being spouses for one day then owed each other for a life" testifies this human's biologically determined trait. Unfortunately many women had no idea of this when they gave their first time arbitrarily. So, the very education we need, to contend with the teen pregnancy and the high divorce rate, is not to teach children sex, but chastity. Man and woman are by nature different. To LEAD women to liberty in sex is against the nature and against the benefit of women itself.
Super - You picked a very tough subject. Teen pregnancy in America has a different face to it than in other parts of the world, say in impoverished or more rural based countries. In many parts of the world, where the survival rate of babies beyond infancy is low, birth at younger ages is a hedge against a family not having enough members to provide workers to support the family. A girl may lose 4 of 5 children she gives birth to, and sons are more cherished, so she may have to have several children that survive until the son arrives. However, I'm assuming you are talking about teen pregnancy in America. In my opinion, unwanted teen pregnancies are based on two things, and I might as well say it is the result of the failure of two things. First and formost, it is from the failure of family, especially parents. The second would be a failure of peers. I'm sure you're smart enough to connect the dots in how each affects a young girls life. One of the worst offenders of the high rate of teen pregnancies are parents. You're very correct in one aspect, a huge part of sex education relies on having the parents get involved in teaching kids what they need to know about sex. But have you ever met many of the parents out there?? They are not only the last people you'd want to go to about sex education, they are some of the reasons young girls have the attitudes they do about promiscuous sex. American parents are among the most ignorant when it comes to being role models about sex. As far as peers go, well, that's the hardest influence to counter. In my life I've learned that the best, and sometimes only thing I personally can do to help keep someone from getting into trouble is to just speak up, have your say, and hope it makes an impact. Always be truthful with people, but like you said, it's a hit or miss proposition if people will listen to you. Good post. Shows some unique sensitivity on your part. By the way, my state has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the US.
I reread my post and realized that I made satements, but didn't offer a possible solution. I believe a partial answer, because there will NEVER be a complete answer, lies in making parents more involved in a more responsive raising of their children. Deadbeat parents have an entire phonebook list of community, local, state and federal agencies who are more than ready to relieve parents of their responsibilities when it comes to just about any part of raising a kid. Start making parents pay for using these services in a more personal way. Right now all they have to do is, well, actually just do nothing and someone from some agency will intercede and the parent doesn't even have to lift a finger. WRONG!!!! Go to jail, provide compensative services, work it off, anything, just quit making it a free ride to handle the responsibilities of raising their kids. For teens, they have sex education classes, how about a 'look out for your friends" class? You see, no one should ever have to teach me how to look out for others. Not an answer, just a statement. Thanks for the post.
I think it's time that the American public stopped making icons out of people like Britany Spears and Paris Hilton. Why do you girls wish to emulated these personalities? Parents certainly are responsible, but this sort of thing is also like the way cigarette smoking was romantized in the early part of the twentieth century. It's time to apply pressure to marketers that this sort of thing is no longer socially acceptable, if you realy want to make a change. When multi million dollar athletes are held accountable for their acts of sexual predation, and promiscuity and sexuality in underage children is no longer used for marketing everything from soap to macaroni and cheese, maybe then you will see a real difference.
Perhaps you should learn more about what sex education is trying to achieve before you talk absolute right-wing nonsense like this. Your agenda is perfectly transparent and made more so by your misrepresentation of the subject. No-one has ever said that rape would be stopped by sex education. They may have said it might lower the teenage pregnancy rate at one time, but meanwhile back to your agenda, do you want children with aids, ghonorrea, syphilis, genital warts, and a myriad of other sexual disease, or shall we prevent those diseases with condoms? Thats the issue simple as that. Do you want a return to pre-1960's levels of sexual infection, or do you want to use condoms? ! Because sure as night follows daylight, youre gonna have kids experimenting with sex, then youre gonna lock them kids up in assylums like back in the 50's. What a pathetic argument youve got For Your Information, the idea behind sex education is to prepare children for the fact that they will or might encounter sexual activity during childhood as ALL children experiment to some degree or other sexually, even you did. If that sexual experimentation goes beyond masturbation and includes one or another form of penetrative sex, it would be a lot better to have informed young people than to have misinformed uneducated children. The idea of responsibility and the facts of the law are also taught - It also prepares them for post adolescent life and adulthood. You say nothing of that but blithely pursue the dogma whichever right wing or christian organisation you have been misguided by HA HA HA I absolutely garauntee at some point in these forums you'll be saying abortion is wrong ! I'd say, catholic, neo-con, or extreme right wing.
What about men? Does the whole weight of the problem under your theory fall just on women. Why not tie penises in knots wouldn't that also solve the problem. Chastity, is only for women in your understanding?...guess again. It works both ways. And women are no longer subservient aspects of the society. They are full partners, as should men also be.
Sentient - Whoa! Did we read the same post? I didn't read one line in Super's post that hinted at a Christian agenda. Nor was there anything that suggested a right-wing agenda. The intent of what Super said is something that is shared on both sides of the political fence, but he wasn't making a political statement. Before you start labeling people as one thing or another, realize this, common beliefs and feelings are to be found in theological AND sectarian thought. To scoop all ideas for or against teen pregnancy into either camp exclusively is narrowminded and inaccurate. Re-read it with that though in mind.
Gardner - Am I the only to see something? To me there is a very male aspect to what Super wrote. I read in the unwritten lines a sensitivity to the 'adventures' of women under the influence of men from this person that indirectly speaks to the role of men AND women in his addressing of the consequences of teen sex, teen pregnancy and the end product of either situation. Before you tie penises in knots, I suggest you find out more as to where Super is coming from with his thoughts.
Timetraveler, thanks for the reply. This post I wrote originally as an essay targeting the situation in my country China. I'm sorry I did not mention that in the first place. I acknowledge the causation of infant mortality you talked about in rural based countries; it's literally true in many rural areas in my country. However in modern cities of China the situation is more likely to be identifed as that in the westen contries. Fortunately it's not yet been that worse. My country's brought in teen pregnancy from the west, and it's now importing the remedy which makes things worse. I hope that would be stoped. Decade ago there's hardly a word teen pregnancy in the Chinese dictionary. I consider sex education a universal issue and some of my points may apply in your country too, because the United State is the country from which China derives those things most (forgive me to say so). Thanks for your informing me of the situation in America, I think that's what the Chinese should be wary of in the future.
I agree with you. Chastity is both for men and women. I think I made some misinterpretation in the post and I'll revise them.
What if I were a communist? Joking I'm not communist though I'm Chinese. I'm sorry I didn't mention that my post was originally written to target the situation in China. I'd say decade ago in my country we had hardly sex education and we did not worry about children encountering sexual activity because there were none.
super, i agree with you, you seem a very sensible person i also thought it was interesting that promiscuity whilst young weakens women's sentimental attatchments to their future spouses, and whilst thinking about it, i've realised that this is obvious! comment on this thread though- i find it amusing that insults thrown at you included 'right-wing' and 'Christian'...assuming you were in a western country. well that's assumption for you (using second-person now) i also found it funny, although sadly so, that the idea of chastity and being conservative was called bs. chastity has never gotten anyone pregnant. being conservative (in behaviour, not necessarily politically) has never gotten anyone into trouble...people turn to conservative-type people for help. not you? who drives you home when you've been drinking? who mops up your vomit? who looks after your kids? these seemingly old-fashioned behaviours WORK. yes, it is bs that in order to stay dry you have to stay out of the rain. sorry to spoil your fun (!) you may buy an umbrella and raincoat, learn physics and tell everybody how clever you are, call staying inside 'bs', talk about it until you're blue in the face... but who are you kidding? everybody knows that you're still gonna get wet somehow. sex education, in my opinion, should be taught in science. what about the issues? no sex, no issues. pre-maritial sex is something people choose to do- in choosing to have it, they are voluntarily complicating their lives. you know where this fits into my rain analogy don't you? don't, do, it's up to you. but don't insult a method that has worked since the beginning of time, because one day you may need to use it.
Don't hate men just wish they were also held responsible in sexual and reproductive discussions. Why is it they aren't?
If only people would utilise the marvellous PARAGRAPH BREAK I might be able to wade through this fucking thread!! As it is, I'm not bloody prepared to do it!! Christ!!!
Super - You've got some good points and some that are not quite on target. One of the areas you're off target about is what motivates young girls to have sex in the first place. I'd go on record to say that the first sexual experiences by girls is not a pleasant one. It is physically painful not only during the act, but for a time after. To think that a girl would look forward to a painful experience doesn't fit in with your statement that seems to paint a more fictionalised picture of losing ones virginity. More accurate might be that a girls willingness to put up with the pain is because she seeks and/or receives an emotional bond that is far better than a physical (painful) one. Women are emotionally wired that way differently than men. The problem that China is experiencing that comes from the West is that young Chinese girls have become more independent than girls have ever been in previous generations and are now being able to seek more emotional freedom and to be at least somewhat equal in their relationships with men, something unheard of in China just a generation ago, whereas now a girl can actually expect to seek a more balanced emotional relationship with a man. Before, the man was the king of any relationship. Her giving of herself physically is the price that girls are willing to pay for the emotional bond. And since China has next to nothing to compare this to and to be warned against, teen pregnancy is the most obvious result. And it is. The remedy you refer to, but won't speak of, for this western invasion is abortion. You're absolutely right to be very concerned about the way promiscuity among young girls has been adopted by the youth of your country, first of all because you still have the old cultural and community laws to contend with when dealing with the problem. In America we have become numb to the situation. In China a girl may be killed for the family shame. Close behind are all the emotional, health, financial and hundred other consequences teen pregnancies bring with it. China should be VERY wary of western influences. Also, divorce really has practically nothing to do with the reasons a girl is promiscuous at an early age. In some cases it may exist as a punitive backlash for some feeling of abandonment by a father, but that in itself is not usually the primary motivator for first time sex. Gardener - Have you ever been to Asia? What Super wrote makes perfect sense in China. Don't fall into the trap of assuming everything America does is the world norm. Pixie - Promiscuity at a young age does NOT weaken a woman's sentemental attachments. Quite the opposite. Women don't usually seek physical sexual pleasure during their first encounters with sex. Womens sexuality and her physical pleasure with sex increases with age and experience.
Timetraveler, you are very considerate and knowledgable. I'm convinced of most what you said. Thank you very much As to whether promiscuity at young age will weeken women's sentimental attachments, I have some different opinion. I read a long article written by a biologist. It trys to prove the strong relationship between sex and setimental attachment in women. I think the many evidences it gives and its arguements make sense. Anyway, I quite agree with you that "Women don't usually seek physical sexual pleasure during their first encounters with sex...". I should admit in some dgree I hold to the old ethical laws because I think not all old things are bad and have to be wiped out. And those laws do hold something good. I don't want to become numb.
