I think I need some advice...

Discussion in 'True Love' started by BungalowBrad, Nov 16, 2006.

  1. BungalowBrad

    BungalowBrad Member

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    Ok here's the stich.....well I work at a coffee shop/bookstore. Around august/sept i switched to coffee shop altogether. Along the same time a few new people were hired, two girls and one dude. Every was sweet I shroomed with the dude and now we're really good friends and so on. I worked with one of the girls a few times then after a while I would just start thinking about her for no reason at all outside of work and several days after I had even seen her. Yeah so I started getting a little confused because everytime I've liked a girl I noticed it right away. But i dunno I think what I'm feeling is pretty much a soul connection and I'm really startin to dig her....but it's weird, I can't even pinpoint what I like about her...I'm just drawn to her and I can't stop thinking about her. I thought I was in love with a girl in high school - this is like a whole new ballgame (sorry for the cliche). I think, but I'm not sure, if she's into me at all. My only qualms with this situation is that she is 3 years younger than me (not too big of a deal) but...we work together! If this get screwed up it would be weird. If I make an attempt and am denied: weird. Even if things *do* work it might be weird working together!

    I dunno. I just got off of work & we closed together. It was kind of weird because I think we were both like "i want you but...." I don't know. my thoughts are pretty disjointed at this point in time.

    Some advice would be fantastic. I'm really at a loss as to what to do and Its really kinda tearin me up because I feel so restrained but I don't even know if this is valid because I'm not even sure what these feelings I'm feeling are.

    yeah. i guess that sums it up. thanks
     
  2. soaringeagle

    soaringeagle Senior Member

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    hanf out with her sometime after work, but dont assume the connections what u think
    if it is what u think though ya wont hafta do anything it will just develop organicaly
     
  3. Fastswitch

    Fastswitch Visitor

    Lay off the shrooms long enough to realize that women as a rule want more than a guy likin' them. Called 'committment'; you know, the woman with the beady eyes and white mustache over the words, "Got Committment?" Scary! Maybe it is real precisely because you cannot pinpoint it. Because you don't like a specific thing about her, maybe you're hooked by her whole person. Question: Are you worth it? Don't tell me - tell her! Next closing. If you're brave enough to risk it! Otherwise get stoned some more and forget her. Maybe that would be a favour to her. No offense, dude, just wondering. Someone's got to.
     
  4. THE MIGHTY TOENAIL

    THE MIGHTY TOENAIL Member

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    i agree with laying off the shrooms...but that's off topic...

    it's universal connexion dude. just go for it!!
     
  5. Fastswitch

    Fastswitch Visitor

    How's getting his head straight for long enough to see his plight in clear light "off topic?"
     
  6. eatmoreplants

    eatmoreplants Member

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    i don't think he was tripping when he wrote this message
     
  7. Layla Nahar

    Layla Nahar Member

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    Here's my first remark to you - "three years younger" - does that make here legally underage? if she's underage, back off & wait till she's legal - just hang out & be freinds - & if you want to do something - tell her not till she's legal. If she cares for you she'll understand.

    Next - it never hurts to take a chance on love. If you work at a bookstore, check out a book called "If the buddah dated" dumb title, but it is really good about helping you be awake and aware as you deal with intimacy. This brings up a lot of pain for a lot of people, and every chance at love is also an opportunity for spiriatual growth. So, go for love, go for growth, never lie, and do your best to say whats on your mind & in your heart. You'll never regret it if you do. And if it doesn't work out, and you work together - if you've been honest and open, it won't be uncomfortable.

    good luck & good love

    LN
     
  8. lizziet84

    lizziet84 Member

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    first of all, you need to see if the girl in question is old enough both mentaly and phisically for the relationship, if she is and you feel like you have a chance, then i think you should go for it
    don't look back a fue years down the line and go "i wonder what would have happened there"
    i don't think he was trippin when he wrote that post iether
    good luck
    {{{hugs}}}
    l
    xxx
     
  9. THE MIGHTY TOENAIL

    THE MIGHTY TOENAIL Member

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    wow! you're not even IN the relationship yet and already people are telling you you need to do a full assessment of this girl's character, maturity, the legal implications, your ability to commit (as if you're going to have children or get married or something?! well you might, but at this point it's really irrelevant!). i thought the problem was that you were ALREADY worrying too much without other people piling ten more kinds of worries onto you!

    forget all that shit!! it's just nervousness about something new and exciting. don't overanalyse it. the situation sounds fine, you don't need to add ten kinds of new worries to it.

    just go ahead and enjoy. if problems come up later, deal with them LATER. as for the issue of "if it doesn't work out and you work at the same place together it will be weird" - as long as you are kind and mature there should be no problems. work time is work time, so treat it as such. i actually think it's better to see an ex soon after a break up to get things to relax and de-weird the situation. but you haven't even gotten together yet, don't worry about breaking up yet!

    and good luck and have fun!!!

    i expect your next post to be about how much of a good tim you're having, and how you were worrying about nothing *shakes finger admonishngly at you* :)
     
  10. lizziet84

    lizziet84 Member

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    that's good advice :)
     
  11. Relic

    Relic Coming Unhinged

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    I am not sure where you live but here in the States she is of age to because she is over 18. I would say the two you should start hanging out on a friend basis first. That will give you a chance to see if you have much in common. Having some of the same intrests is very important. Once that you establish that you should feel free to give it a shot because you will know if you like her as a person or are just intrigued because she is somone new. Best of luck
     

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