I have feelings for the wrong person...

I have developed a huge crush on a girl...and she is 20 years younger than I am. She is a friend of my son's and I have just developed such a fondness for her. She will come to see my son (Adam) and they willl hang out and stuff....but she always comes and hangs out with me...and I swear I love the attention, and sometimes she will sit in my room with me...and just hang out for hours and we talk and stuff. She is only 19...I mean good grief...what is wrong with me, maybe its just that she makes me feel so young again...and she will stare into my eyes with her big brown eyes...and I just forget everything else that is going on around me. She has such a sweet pure genuine sprit...and I think its just a fleeting boyish crush...and I am sure she does not feel the same way, but it just makes me feel so good...I sound like a little school girl or something. I'm not some pervy old guy who macks on young girls...my son plays guitar and his friend and he are trying to start a band...so they hang out and jam at my house...and that seems to attract lots of their friends...and my son and I are very very close...we discuss everything...but this. I just keep it to myself...and go on about my life.

So my question is...is this normal???

 

Is it normal?

Sure! There's nothing wrong with the way you feel.

BUT

What you CHOOSE TO *DO* about it...that is where something inappropriate could happen. To be honest, it sounds like she has similar feelings...maybe a crush...if she hangs out with you heaps. HOWEVER, she is young and there is a power relationship here because you are older and her son is your friend. DON'T follow your dick on this one! You could mess her up big time if you took it any further. It's not fair to do that to someone so young. In fact, I think it would be healthier for both of you if you try to tone down the friendship even and make it clear where the boundries are...so she is not so emotionally attatched to you (which it sounds like she is) when nothing is going to happen. Please respect where this girl is in her life and don't abuse the situation.

SECOND REASON not to do anything...your SON! Have you considered that he sees her as more than a friend? And even if he doesn't...that is just WRONG to go near your son's friends in that way. No way is that okay! You could fuck up your relationship with your son BIG TIME.

THIRD REASON...I am curious...are you married or currently involved? Another VERY GOOD reason not to do anything!!

So no there is nothing wrong with how you feel...but you are still in control of how you act. And there are three people's lives you will potentially fuck up if you act on, or keep encouraging this (yours, your son's, hers), possibly 4 people's if you're married. Please, please think with your BRAIN and BACK OFF!!!!

 

Yes, it is normal. Do not beat yourself up or terrify yourself because of an attraction you feel. I agree with MightyToenail. Please respect anyone involved also - your son, your spouse (if you have a spouse), and HER (if she is attached to another boy).

Affairs do happen. They're painful, some are not. Some last long, some don't. Some last a lifetime and we never act out on it. While others do.

Enjoy the way you feel. You're only 45! My partner is twenty years older than you. Don't feel dirty or bad. Treat her and respect her like an adult, and keep your distance if you feel it is out of bounds and like you're stepping on anyone's toes.

 

Well first off...I would never do anything about it...but I do enjoy the attention...I'm a good guy...but I try not to date or mess around with anyone younger than my daughter...LOL...and she is 26.

Oh an ToeNail...I am single...been divorced for 8 years...still looking for my soulmate...or my lifemate I guess....but its hard to navigate the waters of love.

I really appreciate the words of support and understanding.

I'm so crazy tho...I get a new crush on some girl/woman every week or so...I just LOVE women, I don't have many guy friends...but that's okay with me.

 

Then have fun.

However, I'm not sure what your situation has to do with "true love" in the stereotypical sense.

 

That doesn't sound like much fun....

 

I think the two of you can have a very special friendship with out giving into your crush. Have fun and enjoy the attention!

 

I would never date someone who was younger than my daughters, and certainly not someone who was a friend of theirs.

 

Hanna: I guess you are right...its not really a "True Love" topic...

How come my picture is not showing up on my posts...I want to be seen!!!!!!

 

if it is a pic in your signature, you need to click "show my signature" when you post.

 

This situation is just one of those where you have to shrug your shoulders and say, "It happens." If it's like you say, a boy crush, it'll be fine as long as you don't do anything stupid, like make a move on her.

Oh, and there's no such thing as "the wrong person."

 

Oi Chris

I see you in your gallery. Just fix your signature and link it properly in your User Control Panel. Welcome to the forums.