Free love... nice idea, but I've never seen it.

The phrase "free love" is a much debated matter of opinion. Every single person in the world has a different view of what relationships and sex are supposed to be like, so free love is never the same. Let this thread be a place where people can express what they feel love should be like. I'll start us off...

 

I have determined, in the wake of several failed relationships, that being with someone who isn't interested in the things you are is Hell. I'm not saying they have to be exactly like you, however, similarites make the difference. General interests, hobbies, activities, social opinions... I know it sounds slightly conceited, but admit it, it's true. It is FAR easier to be with someone who shares your likings and dislikings.


And then of course, there's the sexual part. I believe sexual openness is very important for a healthy relationship. We as Humans are extremely sexual beings by nature. Our first impulse upon seeing someone we view as attractive is to hump them silly. But our culture and society of prudes has conditioned our brains to ignore or set aside such urges. It's my firm belief that two partners should be the ones to indulge every urge and need their lover has. Not nessecerily because something incredibly nice was done for no reason, or there is a sudden period of extreme horniness. I feel that two lovers should be open and ready for sexual attention or situations 100% of the time, because it simply feels good. Because they love the feelings, and love to feel them whenever. It's at this point, vieing for end results (orgasms) becomes trivial, and the two come to love each other on a new level.

For the record, I have yet to find a girl like this. I search to this day.

 

I'm not quite sure what on earth free love is.

Do you start humping freely on passerbys? Or flash freely and grin?

Or is it the "fuck and run" technique? "OOOooh yeah, baby!! You're so hot. ....Beer time!"

What makes "free love" free?

I tend to think that nothing is free, and that there is either a trade off, mutual sharing, or you get paid for sex.

 

Free love is when you love someone in the purest sense, and allow them to do whatever they want to. If they want to sleep with other people then that's fine. Experienced it once.

 

Please speak for yourself.

Which culture? "OUR" like what? Middle class white?

100% of the time and you're telling me you haven't found a girl like this before? They're out there (a handful) but you sound like a raging hormonal beast who needs sex all the time. I may be wrong and this is just a verbal reaction to a sensitive subject for you.

People laugh, cry, feel sad, out of it, like they don't want to be fucked or penetrated because they're just not in the mood. It doesn't mean they don't love you or they're not "ready" for you. If you were crying over a dead friend, and your girlfriend insisted you have sex with her right then and there, or she would blow up and become impatient, is this attractive to you?

We're entitled to our own opinions although I hope you don't mind me saying - You will definitely have trouble coming your way. Not only in having your heart broken, and being disappointed and eventually disillusioned, but also that you just might find yourself in a relationship that's all about physical intimacy and lust. I hope it is otherwise.

For your sake, I hope you find her.

 

Okay. This is not my idea of free love, and neither do I agree it is the "purest".

 

Why? You've never loved someone (or had someone love you) so much that you felt they should be 'free' to do as they pleased as long as it didn't hurt them?

Free love is completely selfless, which is why I say it is the purest form.

The phrase can mean a lot of different things I guess.

 

I'm hardly ragingly hormonal. And I certainly don't need it all the time. What I was reffering to was not nessecerily a needed act, but rather a certain frame of mind, a way of thinking that isn't so caught up in overthinking things and harboring hesitations. It's a sensitive subject for me, but only in the way that it's how I feel, not something that hurts on the inside.

I'm all too aware of this. Forced actions is against everything I am. I would trust that person has a certain level of common sense and emotional compassion in a situation like that. I mean... sheesh, that's like a worst case scenario.

Trust me, I don't want to be with a person like that. However, there are just certain elements that I value in a partner, that may just be too complicated to put into words.

Thanks... I think.

 

Hmm...I'm not sure. I feel that free love is loving people and that you should feel okay to show them love however you want. It doesn't have to be sex necessarily, but I sure hope it's involved

 

Best of luck. I understand where you're coming from this response. I think maybe you were swinging too far in another direction to make up for a negative experience. Know what I mean? The whole being ready 100% of the time is unsettling. To me, anyway. Though it may make sense to you. I do hope you find happiness anyway.

 

If it's really love, it's not free, and can't be. Love takes work and sacrifice. It's that simple.

 

Although free love is a loose term, I am not sure it should mean free as in cost.

 

free love? HA! No such thing. Nothing in this world comes for free.

 

to me free love means that i can LOVE EVERYBODY unconditionaly free love
doesn't always have to be about sex..you got it all wrong...

 

free love.
hmm..
i understand free love as freedom of movement and decisions. freedom from people and prejudice. to me it means freedom to do whatever you want in your sexual/emotional relationships. like you wake up next morning and leave him and same day you're flirting w/ someone else..and may be sleeping w/ him.
so,for people that love adventures and are windyheads than it can be fun or whatever,but if u wanna be with somebody than i dont know how can free love become a part of your relationship. i would break up w/ my boyfriend if i knew he slept with someone else,because he believes in free love and things like that.
idk.i think free love applies more to free people.i mean-single.
may be it's just the way we accept different things

 

This is why I don't like the terminology. Libertinism is much more accurate and it blows the Christian concepts out of water.

Personally, what I look for in a relationship are mutuality through communication, the freedom to say "no" and "not now", a volunteering interest in the other's subjectivity (wishes, likes, dislikes, fears, heterogeneic flaws, etc.).

There is nothing mathematically impossible in attaining those things outside of a monogamy. Essentially it's all a matter of friendship, and people confuse it with possessing someone's body due to our Christian bourgeois prejudices.

Like, Hannah, has probably been with people who didn't give two hoots about her, and she associates that with the notion that they weren't monogamous.

"Free" is another word I abhor...Unless freedom is meant in the existentialist sense, and that is, "freedom amidst constraints". But you say "free" and people like Charise are going to take it to mean "do whatever the fuck you want whenever you want it and there are no consequences to your actions by the way."