Hi. My name's Julia and I'm 19 years old. I'm a single child and my dad left us a few years ago. We never heard from him since and it almost killed my mom. She doesn't keep in good health these days. It doesn't help much that this 'scandal' has put a 'label' on our family in this town of ours. People don't say much, but you can sense it. We've never had much money, but it's enough to get us by for daily life.Almost everybody here are regular church goers, including me. I guess the only things that make life worth living is my mom, my best friend kelly and our pastor. He's always supported us when he could and I even had dinner with his family many times. He visits my mom from time to time to see how she's doing and he was the one who encouraged me to join the choir when life was feeling low for me. He even got funds from our parish members so that I could go on a class trip. The most unexpected, I'd say the most surprising and confusing incident of my life was when I was hardly 17 years old. I was babysitting our pastors daughter and he came and asked me to stay for dinner while his wife and two kids were leaving to visit an aunt in another town. I agreed to do so cuz I was hoping he'd reccomend me to babysit some of his friends kids. It was quite fun, he ordered pizza, chinese noodles and it was a real feast for me cuz I never had the luxury of eating such food on a normal basis. I was feeling extremely shy and out of place cuz he lived in a mansion and had such fine clothes that I could only dream of. I was offered red wine which I at first refused cuz I never tried alcohol before, but on his insistence I gave in and had a few drinks, even though I found the taste quite bitter. I started feeling quite dizzy, but at the same time over-talkative and cheerful. After dinner was over, I asked him to take me home but he asked that we go to his studyroom to discuss my future, as he put it. I didn't say no cuz I was keen on talking about getting a reccomendation. When we reached his room, he asked me about my mother, my financial situation etc. We chatted for a while when suddenly he opened the drawer and gave me some money. He said he felt so sorry for me and wanted to help me out. I didn't know what to say, so I kept quite and smiled. On that he started making advances towards me which I resisted at first. But as I was quite drunk and rather confused and didn't realise its implications, and since I was rather pleased with him for giving me money, I did let him come close to me and take my hands into his. But after a little while he put his hand on the back of my neck and started pressing it hard downwards and thus making my mouth bend towards his legs. In the meantime, he opened the fly of his trousers, took out his half erected 'tool' and almost forced it into my mouth and asked me to suck it. At the same time he abruptly slipped his other hand into my blouse and started pulling them hard. Oh! It was a suffocating experience and I disliked it immensely. But I don't know why I couldn't get out of his grip and leave the room. Maybe it was the alcohol that affected my judgement and inspite of getting annoyed, I couldn't resist him forcing me to do all those things. Then he pulled me towards the sofa set, made me lie on it, took off my underwear and hurriedly unrolled a rubber on his fully erected penis and started poking it into me. At that moment I got frightened and spontaneously resisted hard, but he continued with his attempt to insert it into my '****' and in that struggle, even without full insertion and only after a couple of strokes, his penis discharged within the condom. Oh! It was a very unpleasant and hateful experience. Yet, I have to admit it wasn't as horrifying and frightning and painful experience I'd expected it to be. He got up without uttering a single word and I also hurriedly put on my underwear , tidied my clothes and hair and cameout. Then I was dropped home by him. Aftermath: He later told me that if I did as he wanted, I could get presents, money, things for my mother, so that life would be better for all of us. If I ever left town or him, he would accuse me of stealing church funds. Besides, this story would have killed my mother for good. On top of that, it was so long ago and it would be just my word against his, the most respected and loved man in town. I told my best friend kelly about it once but she called me a liar and a tramp. We haven't talked since then. I guess moneywise things are good, but I still feel miserable about this. I don't know what to do.
