Vasectomy

My fiancee wants a vasectomy, and I want him to get one too. but we are only 20 years old so I'm not sure how well the doctors would take to that idea.

He has a kid with his ex; would that be reason enough for them to allow him to have one done?

Though I'm on birth control, I still worry every month and I'm sick of it. Not to mention I really dont want to be on this shit the rest of my life until I go through menopause.

Someone, help, ideas...something.

 

BTW, please dont talk me out of it because I'm "young and might change my mind" I know what I want and dont want in my life, no matter how old or young I am.

 

If the first doc says no, go to another. that's what one of my friends did, he got his done at like 25 with no kids

 

Have you considered an IUD? It's very reliable and no one has to get their balls mutilated. Not that I'm against getting clipped but... Ouch!:ack:

 

Yeah!! I'm a member now!!!

 

It's his body and no doctor has the right to refuse him the vasectomy!! I fought with the doctors at a state hosital when my last chilkd was born, I was 26 - they said I was too young to decide to be sterilised, I insisted, took it all the way to the Head Matron or whatever on the board. They did it in the end.

Don't take no for an answer.

 

P.S. Do NOT consider an IUD - IUD can cause - as they have in me, growths in the womb later in life. If I could live over I would have been sterilised and never used contraceptives!! They are not good for women!! Full stop!!

 

Before we got married, my hubby had a vasectomy at 19. The doc gave us both a long talk to make sure it was what we wanted, but pretty much gave us no problems. I just told him that because of my health problems getting pregnant would be a really bad idea (which is true).

We are now both 27 and still happy we did it, but I've got the maternal urge thing going. I want a baby really bad, and sometimes I wish we hadn't done it, but my health issues are still a concern and when we end up going "I'm so glad we did it!" after a harrowing visit with unruly children, I think that is kind of a telltale sign that neither of us are ready for children, and probably never will be. But my point is, I didn't want children then. I do want them now. But it's not a big deal.

If he gets one, make sure he goes for the no-scalpel kind.

 

Some places will give him a hard time, some won't. It's really just a matter of finding the right doctor. If you get turned down, just keep hunting.

It could be a lot worse, you two could be looking for a tubal for you. Comparatively, vasectomies are much easier to get, on top of the better healing and all.

My partner was able to get a vasectomy when I was turned down for a tubal, from the same location. He was never asked anything about having children or not previously. I was 20 and turned down, he was 26 and given one easily.

I've spoken with others where one or both of the hetero couple had to search through doctors a good bit and gotten a bad run-around some places... but if he knows what he wants, he should just keep at it. Eventually he'll find a doc who respects his wishes and will perform it. Maybe you two will get lucky and find that one first off, who knows? Good luck!

 

IUD's arn't that bad in my wife's experience, they also make her period lighter with almost no cramping, and the progestrone in the IUD is good for her body.

I'm curious, could you tell me more about your experiences with IUDs?

 

I really don't mean this to be nasty. Honestly I don't. I see that this is ultimately your decision, but before you make any decisions that have the potential to impact the remaining 50+years of your life, be sure you've had a decent period of what I want to call "healthy stability" in your life.

The eventual decision you make is yours, but I think it's worth considering if your "mind, body and soul" are in the "right place" to make such a final decision. I'm not suggesting you forget about it if you they aren't in the "right place," but I would suggest you set the idea aside till you feel you've had a long enough period "healthy stability" to be sure you're making a decision from the right place. If you think you are ready, then consider it.

 

Vasectomies are reversable, by the way. The problem is, the longer you wait to reverse, the slimmer the chance of getting pregnant, and by 10 years after the vasectomy it's pretty much nil, from what we learned.

 

my husband just plain refused to get a vasectomy. so i had to get a ligation. pfft. what a weenie he was about that.

 

The decision is totally yours... well, his in this case since they're his "boys" but it's nice that you're involved in the decision (and if he's your fiance than I guess you definately should be involved). I understand what you mean about people saying you're young and might change your mind... I'm 25 and would like to get sterilized or my tubes tied or something... anything so I can stop taking birth control, but alas, I havn't had kids so they won't do it! Pisses me off.... what happened to my right to choose what I want for my own body and life? Gar! Anyway...I'm going next month for an IUD. I don't understand why people think that you might change your mind, you either want kids or you don't, obviously if you thought you might want them you wouldn't take such a drastic step.

I know someone who got a vasectomie done and they are going back soon to make sure it "took"... It worked but they were told to come back after 3 yrs to make sure it didn't reverse itself... I guess that could happen...

 

i dont see why they wouldnt do it, i think they most definitely should, but being absolutely completely objective and realistic id urge you to get him to think very long and hard about this before he does it. Also to not let your own problems with birth control get in the way...
Because realistically, you COULD not be together in the future and he may want babies

I know exactly what you mean though, so dont think im having a go. If its really what he wants then god for it and good luck, i say! I have no desire to have chilren in my life either, for at least another 10 years

-Maxi

 

I think you should ask yourself if you would be prepared to have a hysterectomy, and if the answer is no, I would advise gainst your partner getting a vas

 

A hystorectomy is the REMOVAL of the entire uterus. A Vasectomy is simply the cutting of the vas deferens, which lead from the testes to the penis, so that sperm cannot get into the semen. Semen is still made and the man stil has ALL his organs. Hystos are done to treat DISEASE, Vasectomies are done for birth control. A Vasectomy is NOT Neutering. Nothing is removed. A man still makes the exact same amount of hormones as he did before the procedure, only sperm cannot reach his semen. A hysto with oophrectomy is the removal of not only the uterus, but the ovaries as well, this is, essensially, surgical castration of the female. This is ONLY done in cases of cancer or very serious ovarian diseases. It is NOT meant for birth control. Doctors who perform hystorectomies for birth control can lose their licences.


The recovery from a Hysto is a minumum of 12 weeks, is major abdominal surgery, causes intense scaring and internal scar tissue, and can seriously effect the ability to have an orgasm. A Vasectomy recovery is about 4 days, is minor, in office surgery causes virtually no scarring, and does not effect orgasm. The two procedures have nothing in common.

More progesterone than a healthy womyn's body makes, on her own is NEVER "good" for her, it, in fact, predisposes her to depression, blood clots, heart disease and myriad other illnesses. Her body makes JUST ENOUGH progesterone which is best for her. Although some womyn do OK with a regular IUD, many have terrible side effects, including scarring which can lead to permanent sterility and many doctors will never implant a hormone coated IUD in ANY womyn. My doctor is very particular about who he considers a candidate for IUDs and never, ever uses hormone coated ones in any womyn.

 

Well she has had one for almost five years, she loves it and plans to get another one. The one she has was recommended and inserted by her midwife after our son was born. It also allows her to function during her period, unlike before, so I can't complain.

 

okay maggie youre right, they are different so a tubal then, but my point is, if shes willing to give up her reproductive ability, and can honesty say that she is, then I think a vas for her partner, providing thats what he wants is perfectly okay, if shes not, then I think they should reconisder their plans