Hi. My name's Julia and I'm 19 years old. I'm a single child and my dad left us a few years ago. We never heard from him since and it almost killed my mom. She doesn't keep in good health these days. It doesn't help much that this 'scandal' has put a 'label' on our family in this town of ours. People don't say much, but you can sense it. We've never had much money, but it's enough to get us by for daily life.Almost everybody here are regular church goers, including me. I guess the only things that make life worth living is my mom, my best friend kelly and our pastor. He's always supported us when he could and I even had dinner with his family many times. He visits my mom from time to time to see how she's doing and he was the one who encouraged me to join the choir when life was feeling low for me. He even got funds from our parish members so that I could go on a class trip. The most unexpected, I'd say the most surprising and confusing incident of my life was when I was hardly 17 years old. I was babysitting our pastors daughter and he came and asked me to stay for dinner while his wife and two kids were leaving to visit an aunt in another town. I agreed to do so cuz I was hoping he'd reccomend me to babysit some of his friends kids. It was quite fun, he ordered pizza, chinese noodles and it was a real feast for me cuz I never had the luxury of eating such food on a normal basis. I was feeling extremely shy and out of place cuz he lived in a mansion and had such fine clothes that I could only dream of. I was offered red wine which I at first refused cuz I never tried alcohol before, but on his insistence I gave in and had a few drinks, even though I found the taste quite bitter. I started feeling quite dizzy, but at the same time over-talkative and cheerful. After dinner was over, I asked him to take me home but he asked that we go to his studyroom to discuss my future, as he put it. I didn't say no cuz I was keen on talking about getting a reccomendation. When we reached his room, he asked me about my mother, my financial situation etc. We chatted for a while when suddenly he opened the drawer and gave me some money. He said he felt so sorry for me and wanted to help me out. I didn't know what to say, so I kept quite and smiled. On that he started making advances towards me which I resisted at first. But as I was quite drunk and rather confused and didn't realise its implications, and since I was rather pleased with him for giving me money, I did let him come close to me and take my hands into his. But after a little while he put his hand on the back of my neck and started pressing it hard downwards and thus making my mouth bend towards his legs. In the meantime, he opened the fly of his trousers, took out his half erected 'tool' and almost forced it into my mouth and asked me to suck it. At the same time he abruptly slipped his other hand into my blouse and started pulling them hard. Oh! It was a suffocating experience and I disliked it immensely. But I don't know why I couldn't get out of his grip and leave the room. Maybe it was the alcohol that affected my judgement and inspite of getting annoyed, I couldn't resist him forcing me to do all those things. Then he pulled me towards the sofa set, made me lie on it, took off my underwear and hurriedly unrolled a rubber on his fully erected penis and started poking it into me. At that moment I got frightened and spontaneously resisted hard, but he continued with his attempt to insert it into my '****' and in that struggle, even without full insertion and only after a couple of strokes, his penis discharged within the condom. Oh! It was a very unpleasant and hateful experience. Yet, I have to admit it wasn't as horrifying and frightning and painful experience I'd expected it to be. He got up without uttering a single word and I also hurriedly put on my underwear , tidied my clothes and hair and cameout. Then I was dropped home by him. Aftermath: He later told me that if I did as he wanted, I could get presents, money, things for my mother, so that life would be better for all of us. If I ever left town or him, he would accuse me of stealing church funds. Besides, this story would have killed my mother for good. On top of that, it was so long ago and it would be just my word against his, the most respected and loved man in town. I told my best friend kelly about it once but she called me a liar and a tramp. We haven't talked since then. I guess moneywise things are good, but I still feel miserable about this. I don't know what to do.
that was rape. call the cops. while u could have gotten presents he has earned a place in prison, where he clearly belongs. great ay to start my morning by the way
That incident could be described as prostitution in court, I think. And you'd get jail for it. Besides, as you said, it's your word against his. You're in a fix for sure. And your poor mom... You could blackmail him but who knows how it'll turn out. Very risky, maybe something will happen to you.
fuck man, tell the cops, tell anyone, Church leaders are in a risky position at the moment and they know it, when it comes to this sort of thing. Justthink who else he could have done that to, or will do it too
If it's a rich church, ask the clergy for a lotta money and you wont press charges. Heck, better to get some money than being broke, social outcast etc.
How can this poor girl get justice when she has no way of prooving that he raped her? She's on thin ice. Better to cry wolf to church and earn a bundle.
As dispicable as it sounds, such a figure of public respect willcertainly have sufficient connections to whitewash his actions and make you look the guilty party. The only way to expose such behaviour is to find other females from the church who might have indeed moved away and get them to agree to testify against him as well. Hiring a private dtective could be one route, but that is an expensive option. If you could stomach it, I would suggest some form of small recording device with which you might tape him making his advancements should you be alone with him again. Keep it with you at all times and make an unimpeachable record which could be used in court. Im so sorry that you have had your trust betrayed so attrociously by a supposed representative of Christ.
The problem is that if you try to blackmail the church, when it all comes out (because it will eventully, I doubt that you're the only one he's done it to), it will look like you lied to get money... and that's not justice. You need to tell the police, as soon as you can.
You could also see it this way, he cares about you and he's just a man. I mean, he was the only one who stood up for you. You're getting money to support yourself and your mother for something you'd otherwise would give for free to a bunch of guys who'd ditch you after a few months. So you have stability. Doesn't sounds that bad.
That's just horrible Piratedude... how can you try to excuse rape? Is it because he's a pastor that yer sympathizing with him? That's... that's just despicable man...
Nobody else seems to care what happens to her. It's a win win situation and I'm sure by now she's used to pleasing him and it's no big deal.
There is no excuse nor justification for predatory sexual abuse of any kind. This man holds himself up in front of the community as a man of god and then indulges his predelections for young easily threatened girls. He's an adulterer and criminal quite frankly and at the very least should be reported to a woman's advocacy group for further investigation.
I understand. If people here don't believe me then how can I proove it otherwise. I'm just a girl who doesn't know what to do about this. I guess I'll have to rough it out. Bye.
Ignore what people here have said, just go and tell the police. Nothing bad can come of telling them, and a whole world of good can. As for proof, you'll be surprised what forenzic science can do these days, discover bruses, skin iner nails, etc..... but you need to go tell the police as soon as you can... Do it right now, pick up the phone and tell them. It's for the best, both for you and for every other rape victim in the world. You can't let him get away with it, stand up for yourself and tell the police. To everyone that does not believe her... that's fair enough, you can't trust everyone that's on the internet.. but lets say that she has been raped? (which I believe she has) And lets say that she does not go to the police because you didn't believe her... how does that help anyone? Even if you don't believe her, how can you justify that? Julia, go to the police!!
