need advice.first time was freakin weird

okey so few days ago i went to my boyfriend's house and aparently i lost my virginity.but it happened kind of weird and i don't know why he did it like this. so the point was that we didn't really have <sex> because he used his hand[not his penis]. and we were all dressed up,i had my pants down and that was it.and after we were "done" he just took off his shirt and we were kissing again. then he washed his hand and that was it.
so...i never thought first time would be like that or whatever. i didn't ask him why he did it like this,cause even though i trust him i feel kind of embarassed cause it looked like he knew what he was doing but i had no clue.
do you have any ideas or something?i am really confused

 

hmmm.... That's not actually sex. That's just messing around.

 

why did he do it like this?

 

Maybe he didn't have a condom, and doesn't want to risk getting you pregnant. Is he still a virgin or has he ever had sex before? Everyone is different, and goes about sex in different ways.

 

no,he's not a virgin

may be he didn't have one..but couldn't he wait for next time so he would have one?..i dont know.. :/

people if you read this please write what you think cause i really need help.write whatever comes to your mind when you read it

 

If you are going to be sexually active with someone, you need to be able to communicate with him. Don't wonder, ask him directly. He won't think your silly or anything. But sex without condoms is a no no understand?

 

Oi, I think she understands about the condoms. She's just confused about why he fondled her with his hand rather than loved her with his penis. I would agree with asking your boyfriend why he did what he did but that's difficult so it's no wonder you're here too asking the forum. There could even have been a total miscommunication and he might have thought you weren't ready for penetration (penis/vagina style).

OR it could be that he was just nervous. Whether or not a boy/girl/etc is nervous doesn't always have everything to do with virginity. Even if he weren't a virgin, it doesn't mean that he had reserves or might have been nervous. Again, it's up to you to talk to him about this. This is another one in hundreds of possibilities. Try not to accuse him or get overly-emotional even though I'm sure it must have meant a good deal to you since you're troubled by it. You have every right to get the answers you deserve - however, you can only do it by speaking to your boyfriend.

If you're asking us if this is "normal" or considered sex, then personally I would not consider it sex. Touching, fingering and other activities are foreplay to me, but can be just as intimate, loving, hot, sexy etc. Im somehow getting the sense that you feel cheated of your 'first-time', and if that's the case, I'm sorry to hear this and it IS lousy and you SHOULD feel comfortable speaking to him about it. Though, again, be gentle - remember that you had every choice to leave or stop while it was going on and it took two. If something went wrong, it's not entirely his fault. Please be calm about it and resist playing victim here.

Sure, he has more experience. But by how much? Don't over-think and go nuts making false assumptions. Talk to him. I hope you (and him) find a resolution.

 

Its called foreplay. Some think it counts as sex but i dont.
Anyway nice one, you got touched up lol.

 

It was casual finger fucking, it is a common thing to do when you are just kissing & fooling around, the big event is yet to come along, this was just some fun, don't worry so much about it.

 

yeah, that wasn't The First Time
maybe he want's to take time, or give you time, you know do it step by step, which is nice. ( and it shows that he cares about you)
I think he just didn't want to go all the way because he thought you might not be ready.

so maybe next time you're in bed with him tell him not to stop

 

thanks guys!!!!! i feel much better!!!
peace!

 

Hey so_what?...I'm am wondering, what was it you were actually worried about?

 

well you see..it looked kinda weird to me,may be cause i have these stupid stereotypes in my head and the "right" way for the first time or whatever.i thought about it and now it's okey plus it was nice to read other people's opinion.

 

If anything going into a vagina is sex, then I lost my virginity to myself.

I'm a total champ.

 

did u have sex w/ anyone after?

 

That's what I really have no idea about women/girls who say they are virgins but yet have likely broken their hymen masturbating.

Yea yea, I know. It's not SEX if it's not someone ELSE doing it, and there are different types of hymens, and some women just aren't born with any or much of it or it ruptures naturally through time... but really? The whole "virgin" argument is so waffly. Just seems so circular.

Like a clit.

Which is what "virgins" should be using more.


Hmmmmmmmmmm?

 

Right. Hey, So_What, it was a totally normal expression of sex and intimacy you had with your boyfriend. It doesn't make you wierd or slutty or not a virgin anymore in any way. It is perfectly normal. Just make sure you like what he is doing in the future, don't do anything you don't want to do. Check yourself, and see what you like and what you want from him or any other guy.

It's okay to wait; it's okay if you want to do some stuff now but not have sex; it's okay if you want to have sex. Just be good to yourself. Don't let anyone make you feel you either should, or shouldn't, do anything. Life is long. These early experiences are important. It's not that you can't get over a bad one, people can and do, but if you stay conscious now of what you want and don't want, that will be a great way to start your life as a sexual being. Enjoy!

 

It's called foreplay/messing around. If it arouses you, then when you actually do have sex, it'll be much more enjoyable because things will be more... wet.

 

anywayz my virginity is gone lol