Need some advice from a mom's point a view.

Ok Here is the thing my bestfriend has her neice living with her and her mother. He she is seen as the parent for the neice. The best friend is always saying how Amber will not talk ans how her mom and Amber are always fighting. Since Amber will not talk directly to people she now is in therapy once a week. Amber is 18 and acts like she is about 8 as far as the clingy factor goes and how she responds to people. I picked he up from therapy on Tueasday and she started talking like a mag pie. She said she is scared to ask for help on home work from her aunt because evrytime she does her grand mother yells at her. That I can believe my best friends mom is not the nicest person to talk to. Then wants to be in soccor but won't join and she is in chior which she loves but she is unhappy and sad because she says none of her family comes to her concerts and if they do show up someone always gets mad and leaves because of someone else . She says it makes her sad and doesn'y see the point of being involved if no one will come to support her. She also talked to me about when she lived at home and how she was treated there. she was the cook the house keeper the catch all for blame for things her brothers were doing. She ran away that is why she now lives with my friend and her mom. I want to be there for Amber if she will talk to me but I don't know if I should tell my friend evrything AMber tells me or just the things that are important? She says she wants to talk to my friend about this stuff but chickes out when she starts to tell her. The other night I did mention the thing about the home work but she says her mom yells at Amber because she only asks for help when my friend has a paper do for her masters program and is almost to dead line. So I got a negatyive vibe on that. I just need some advice. I do not want amber not to talk to me anymore if I do tell my friend what she talks about because she needs to talk to someone and my friend agrees to that. I just feel she should talk to her therapist also. Which I have been told that he makes the sessions more about my friend then Amber because Amber will not talk to him. MOMS HELP! PLEASE!:hysterica

 

Unless she explictly asks you to tell them things then keep it to yourself. You will start to cause resentment with those she is living with. Let her talk it out with you and maintain her trust. From there you can work on getting her to open up to the therapist. Unless someone is in danger just be a good friend and try to steer her in a positive direction.

 

Thanks for the advice that is what I will do.

 

I have to agree with Haid. This child NEEDS therapy, being a freind, and allowing her therapist to do the Psychology is the best course for this child. You really don't know what is going on. Some girls this age, with things like Borderline Personality or Hystrionic Personality Disorders can really make things seem worse than they are, and you don't want to circumvent a professional therapist's work.

 

My course of action is now to listen and to try and get her to talk/vent at the therapist.

 

yeah I think she needs someone she can trust and you seem to fit that right now, so the important thing to do is continue to build a trusting relationship with her.

 

insert foot open ears