at my ex's request, i have tried to be a friend to her, which is hard because i am still in love with her. we call each other on a fairly regular basis, and usually hang out pretty often, maybe once a week. a lot of times, however, for random periods, she will bail. sometimes she'll want to hang out every day, and sometimes won't pick up my calls. she rarely returns phone calls she says she will, and will sometimes make plans with me only to not show up (with no excuse). i dont want to come off as clingy or annoying, but i feel like my time and effort is being disrespected. what should i do/say to try to rectify the situation without damaging the current connection?
Give her lots of space. You say you're "still in love with her" -- what are the chances that you do things that make it obvious that you still have strong feelings for her? I tried to stay friends with my last serious ex. He was still "in love" with me and seemed to have this silly idea that being friends would be a way to have a better chance of convincing me to get back together with him. Each time he did something to try to win me back, I would stop talking to him for a while, until it got to the point of me telling him never to contact me ever again. So, not really knowing any of her side, all I can suggest is that you pay close attention to your behavior. If you need space to get over her, you're better off telling her that you need to take some time off -- maybe a 6 month break -- before you can be a good friend to her. Giving yourselves some time can wind up being better for your friendship than trying to maintain it now if you're having a hard time getting over her.
