My Defibrillator Broke.

Does anyone know how to perform self CPR.

 

yes i do! you have to take a cucumber, and then you stick it in your ass!

 

Don't forget to plug the cucumber in first!

 

...and use lots of Astroglide... you know the kind that also has massage oil in it.

 

I feel like going to the park and using the teeter totter.....

 

I'm fonder of the shit 'n spin actually

 

I officially love this thread so far.

but, you may want a second cucumber (plugged in first of course) to suck on. Just a thought. Generally increases the chances of a successful defibrillation.

 

he could just hook one end of a set of jumper cables to his dick and the cucumber, and the other to closest power source.