Lately, i have just been feeling so lonely- that empty hollow feeling like if someone knocked you over you just couldn't get up. Im not trying to feel sorry for myself, but its just something thats bothering me. All i want is a guy who will let me lean my head on his shoulder or cares about me. For some reason, i've only ever found guys that played games and stomped on my heart. Is it true that there is someone out therfe for everyone? Im starting college soon, and i keep imagining that there i will find someone that is as interested in me as i am in them, but i dont want to get my hopes up and see that its the same situation.. Anyone have any words of wisdom? Advice?
Sweetheart, What you feel is depression... created from your own lonliness and heartbreak. College will be a good outlook for you, as it will open the door to new possibilities to everything in your life. New people, new jobs, new friends. As for the guy stomping you, we have all been their before, and I fear it is not the last either. You sound very nice and sincere, as your pain crawls into me, and your fear of being rejected makes you afraid of new possibilities. One cannot live life in fear though, but rather, live it to the fullest, living in fear only makes "what if's..." Their is a certain quote that I said to a female friend in an argument about how horrible guys were. "For every man out their, their is a woman, and every woman, their is a man". Basically saying that, you are not alone my friend We all go through these stages of hurt and pain, but in the end we do finally find one person, and I truly do believe, that it is without a doubt, worth it. Take Care Drew
thanks for the advice, drew. the thing is, im not afraid of rejection- just tired of it. its as if im the one always courting the guys! i always make the initiatives. and i so envy the women that are approached, and dont have to make the effort to approach others! lol no one ever wants a relationship because of various reasons, such as:im too "weird". Am i suppose to alter my personality just so that i'm not lonely?
Not at all You should never change who you are in order to impress someone, as it would be living a lie. You can never change who you are unless you change into yourself, and this sounds more like changing into someone else, if that makes sense to you. How do people consider you weird? In What ways? Almost everyday my best friend tells me "You are the strangest person I know". But yet he still continues to be my friend, and accept the way I am, and act for that (lol). If I am to call you weird, I would first need an example of what is normal? And Yet In all this normalness, and weirdness, I notice that the people I call weird, are normal, as well as the normals weird... Make sense? It's all about whos around you, I think. I would never change my personality for anything, no matter what. It's who I am, and that is what makes me so different from everyone else. Take Care, Drew
I have advice. It worked for me, but I don't know if it will work for you...I hope it does...although I don't think it's what you want to hear... 1.) Stop looking. If you're looking for love, you'll pick a mate on the basis of hope, rather than true feeling. If you stop looking, and instead devote time and energy to self-fulfillment, you will know yourself better, like yourself more, and, hence, be a lot more attractive to other people. Also, because you know yourself well, you will know a "good" man from a "bad" one, and you will know what your heart is really trying to tell you. 2.) Make friends. Or hang out with the friends you already have. But new friends are always good, even if most of them are just acquaintences. Talk to people who attract you (men and women alike). Just because you start talking to a man (or woman) doesn't mean that you will form a romantic relationship--or even a friendship--but you might learn something interesting, or get invited to a fun event, etc. Remember that if you like yourself, other people will like you. And if they don't, they aren't worth your time. 3.) To quote James Taylor, "If it feels nice, don't think twice." Casual sex is a healthy thing, as long as you are careful about using protection. If the time strikes you as the right one, go for it, keeping in mind that casual sex *means* nothing other than a good time. If both you and your partner(s) have a good time, however, it is likely something worth continuing. Also keep in mind that casual sex is only casual when both parties go into it with respect for each other's bodies, boundaries, and emotions--and routine casual sex is problematic. The "right moment" doesn't happen all that often. 4.) You may not recognize the man of your dreams when you first meet him. Sometimes it's better to listen to your heart, not your mind...what I mean by this is that your mind is full of preconceptions--you have preestablished ideas of what you want in a mate, and that's fine, but those ideas can change, and people often do not show their true colors until you know them for a long time. So if the time and place feel right, and the person feels "wrong," give it a chance. Sometimes your mind will try to trick you. If you feel comfortable in a situation, you're OK, even if the man standing next to you is not what you had hoped for. Your instincts are wiser than your conscious mind, and you should listen to them. Sometimes, the "wrong" person is actually the "right" one, and will make you happier than you could possibly imagine. So here's my own (condensed) story: I met my husband through a mutual friend. When I met him, he was overweight and frequently drunk. He was a nice person, but his language and way of approaching the world were much harsher than what I was comfortable with. I didn't think of him as anything other than a friend of a friend. One day, about five months after I first met him, we were both naked in our friend's swimming pool (no, no...it was a naked pool party...there were LOTS of people naked in the swimming pool), and he kissed me. He was very drunk. I was very sober. He was not the type of person I had ever envisioned myself dating. Still, I figured, "why not?" and kept kissing him. We occupied the floor of my friend's bathroom (all the bedrooms and other bathrooms were already taken...I used to party a lot... ) for about 3 hours, and spend the night on the hide-a-bed. It was lots of fun, but I still didn't think of him as anyone I'd ever consider dating. Actually, at that point in time, I wasn't interested in dating ANYONE...I was having way too much fun by myself. But...for the rest of the weekend (and the one after that, and the one after that...) he wouldn't let go of me. We would be hanging out at our friend's house, and he would have his arm around me, or pull me down on his lap and hug me. I'm a very squirmy person (I have ADHD), but, despite my wiggles, it felt really nice. So we kept "casually dating" for three months, until I suddenly realized that it wasn't casual anymore--we talked on the phone every night, and didn't make plans for the weekend (he lived 100 miles away) because neither of us assumed we'd be spending it with anyone but each other. We accidentally conceived our son about two months after that, and, although the first year of our marriage was rocky (stressful), now I can't imagine ever wanting to be married to anyone else. So hang in there. The right person will come. Just make sure that you find yourself first, because if you haven't found yourself, you won't have the courage to recognize the right person if they show up unexpectedly. loving you, alyce
never mind, i found a guy and he professed his love to me. to answer your question, the college of new jersey. im going for my veterinary degree eventually ! go lions!
Me? I'm an undergrad, majoring in American history. I think I'd like to be a college professor, but it also might be interesting to be a lawyer (not the soulless kind, but the kind who fights for justice, like with the ACLU or NORML). I want to do something that involves the daily use of my brain, and makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something worthwhile. What's the point of working if you're not doing something worthwhile? And what's the point of sitting around doing nothing if you could be working for something worthwhile? I just have to figure out what the perfect job is...and I will...someday...
