What's Your Personal Ad?

If you were going to post a personal ad, what would it say.

 

Please get my owner out of the house

Hi I'm John's cat and I'm getting real tired of him being around... please would a female of his species (presumably human) get him out of here so I can scratch up his furniture. He's a nice enough character, always keeps me well fed and happy but he won't let me do cat stuff... like climbing on tables and sharpening my claws on his furnishings.

He's about 5'10 tall... (I measured him when he was sleeping- shhhhh! don't tell him!) and he weighs about 185. He's got brown fur on the top of his head that reaches down to the middle of his back and has a little fur on his face... he keeps that closely trimmed though.

A nice evening away would give me a chance to get my claws into a few things here. He's a bit of a health nut- although a dinner date would probably be ok. You might want to suggest a good hike- he likes long walks. Maybe you can take him to your gym and give him a tour- ANYTHING to get him out of here.

P.S.- don't tell him I placed this ad- he doesn't think I can type.

********************​

Unfortunately I lost the cat in question...

 

SWM - NO FOOTBALL! mellow laid back loves nature and tecnology in harmony with each other. must love little furry creatures with big sharp teeth and not hate all tecnology.
be willing to walk and able to enjoy what can only be experienced by doing so, but not emotionaly attatched to physical exercise as an end in and of itself.

=^^=
.../\...

 

That's one amazing cat.

My add would simply say:

"Crack addict in search for hamster. "

 

SWF, 5'9, busty and athletic, looking for friendship, a drinking buddy, someone to watch Raider's games with (next season of course), snorkel and run with ( and eventualy to).
May develop into more as time progresses.
You- Must like dogs,travel, be educated, employed, tall and chivalrous. Those who play games, produce drama, do not like sports and will not take the cosmo quizes for my entertainment need not apply.
Me-educated, attractive, adventurous mermaid looking for my prince Eric.

 

Thirtysomething SBM 6’2” athletic, sports-minded, college educated, home owner, seeking 25-35 SF interested in Backpacking, Mountain biking, Tailgating (New England Patriots games) enjoys traveling and pets, or spending a cold winters night snuggled up in front of a fireplace watching ESPN Classics or Texas Hold em’



Hotwater

 

We're playing you guys this weekend...I wish you luck. ya'll need it.

I would respond to your personal, despite the patriots reference.

 

Hi,

I'm posting a personal ad because I'm retarded. If your reading this ad then your obviously retarded too! Yay for desperate people! (no I don't do personal ads...)

 

Clears his throat (are you delusional) :H

Rivers (untested in playoff action)

Merriman (Steroid driven psychotic) did you see him last week during the halftime interview of the Pats - Jets game, topless wearing some sort of apron

Marty Schottenheimer (couldn't win a playoff game to save his own life)

Tomlinson (Seymour, Wilfork, and Ty Warren) will put an end to his dancing around.



Hotwater

 

Oh I dislike the Chargers, I just dislike the Patriots even more. I'm in San Diego though so I have to exuberate some sort of home town pride.

 

marty schottenheimer was a coach for the KC chiefs, and that playoff comment was right on the money......... he had the best teams ever, and he couldnt get them through even the first round (with a first week bye even)

 

Entirely understandable

I guess I'm just so caught up in action, anyone even suggestion the possibility of a patriots loss is suddenly public enemy number 1 :&

BTW: where did this dislike for the Pats emerge from ?

Hotwater

 

hmm probably because tom brady is such a douche.......??

 

as long as it's understood that he's a douche bag with 3 super bowl rings :H



Hotwater

 

bwace yoself gul u aint weady for dis
i tote big guns

lets go fo a boat wide



and id use a pic of mr potato head as my profile pic mhm mhm

 

"Well mannered SWM zombie seeks understanding hippy chick with food to share"

 

well groomed, 5'7, supportive, generous, assertive, intelligent, adventurous, loyal, non-religious, reliable, fiesty, practical, hard-working, playful, witty, stubborn, independent

likes: beach, cooking, sleeping in, sports, travelling, dogs, games, science
hates: fungi, aniseed, spiders, salad, bible bashers, other religious nuts, most people actually.

 

God this is going to sound soooooo petty and girly. I was rooting for my boyfriend at the time's team, which was the patriots. After we broke up I started to regurgitate at the mention of the pats...immature eh?

I hate the eagles too because I was supossed to have a football date last weekend and he never called. I found out today it's because I don't put out grrrrrr

 

Well at least in regard to the Eagles we're both on the same page


Hotwater

 

tarzan seeks jane ....object monkeybuisness .....