So, about a month ago, me and my best friend start sleeping together. This was the first time she'd ever done anything with a girl. The thing is...she doesn't believe she is gay. Or even bi. She is convinced she is totally straight...and I don't know how to respond to that. She used to say, way before our whole thing, that she would kill hersef if she was gay, so I know that accepting herself will be a struggle. But I just don't know what I can do to help...it hurts when she sits there and talks about how she's completely straight. I don't know what to say to that. It just hurts. SO yea. I don't know, that's my current issue, heh.
Ok...this is easy.....its not your issue , its hers , she just finds it easier to deal with whats happening once its over and you guys arent in bed anymore , by pretending its not happening. Shes telling Herself shes not gay to make herself feel ok about whats going on in secret , its a form of denial because she doesnt want the label of being Gay. Its not about you...its about her not being able to handle being called Gay.
yeah, don't let yourself feel hurt over some mental machinations she's cranking through. it's a huge paradigm shift for her. and this relationship might end up not working out because she can't quite get a grip on what she wants or needs. be patient with her, be loving, caring and understanding. above all else, don't let her attempts to get a grip on this new concept hurt you. good luck and hugs to you.
Let her deal with it. I was with a guy when I was about your age. He said the same. But we had sexy for several months and he still claimed he was not gay. After about a year he realixed he was and finally came to me and we had a long discussion about his denial.
She may have very deep issues with it because of an unaccepting family or religion, so it may just be very hard for her to accept.
