stress. stress. stress. stress.

I don't really know whats going on. I dont even know if anything is going on. Everytime I try to straighten things out, feel better, or get organized, i cant think straight. I was really happy for about a year and a half. I rarely had mood swings or ups and downs in general. I wasnt depressed or euphoric, I was a happy medium. I feel like im back where I started. I was in therapy basically my whole childhood. I dont want to do it again. I just worry so much. i worry about everything. i can't relax, im always too stressed out. i want to be dust. floating around aimlessly, bouncing into other dust particles.

 

The only way is up, just hang in there.

 

It sounds like you have anxiety. Do your limbs ever go numb? Do you have trouble breathing and feel as though you are going die?

It sounds like you are having a panic attack of some sort, whether you have anxiety or not - I'm not sure.

 

have you tried heroin? that fixed up my depression

 

Half a sandwich - I have good news for you. It seems as though you are very aware of your own problems, and you have a genuine desire to be free of them. This is the first step to freedom. Not to turn this into a religious thing, but I am a Buddhist and I believe that the path to enlightenment often goes through insanity. That is the Buddhist way of looking at things. Another way of saying it would be that only through struggling with your issues can you eventually come to terms with them and be free of them. You said you were at a nice happy medium for a while - that's great. That's something to build from. I have had issues with all kinds of stuff in my day - major mood swings, depression, the whole bit. I know where you're coming from. You can be free... but you must believe it first. If you ever want someone to talk to, please PM me.

 

Oh, and two more tidbits:
"I don't even know if anything is going on." - I think you hit the nail right on the head there. Nothing is going on. Don't worry about it.

"Everytime I try" - stop trying. The more you try to be happy, the harder it is. Just live.

 

Instead of trying so hard, try letting some of it go. As stated above, the more you try to be happy is the worse it will seem, so maybe try reducing your expectations, and allowing everything to be the way it is (for now, anyway). Depression definitely sucks... but everybody goes through it at one point or another. I wish you the best, man.

 

): can I have the other half, especially if it's pb and j?
I have really bad stress and anxiety too. I thought it was from work but then I got laid off and it's still there! I'll always find something to get stressed out about.
I found writting a list helpful. When something's bothering me I break out a sheet of paper and write down the steps to solve it and then check them off. SOmetimes seeing the stressers presented in a logical way, with a logical solution helps us fix our problems or see that they are trivial once we see them on paper.
Also...medication. I was on it for awhile and am off of it now except for a few days before my period. When I was on it it helped a lot and helped me to be calm enough to open up to new solutions and re-learn my behavior.