What should you do if you've found the one you want to spend your life with but she isn't really talking to you right now, and she's seeing someone else... To me the only thing to do is just to be patient, and remain who you are until something happens and then see where it takes you... but... Where do you draw the line between giving them their space and abandoning the relationship? I know I've got the rest of my life to think about this one but how would you get someone back? I need some ideas here. I mean, other than loving them.
'getting them back' (as in activly fighting for her) will only get you resentment. thats incredible that youve found 'the one' and im happy for that, but you need to remember that it takes two to make that happily ever after. your right- all you can do is stay true to your feelings and wait until/if she comes back to you. in the mean time, take this oppertunity to date around while she is. you may not want to think about it, but there may be someone who you will love as much and who will return your compassion. do whatever you feel is right in your heart, and go for it. good luck!
Thank you Diet Coke Tree ~ You speak from the heart and as much as it saddens me I realize I find it a little easier to let go now...and life is not so bad. so thanks
Pmeth, how is that bad at all? If she's completely shallow and has issues dating someone younger than her, then you should set your sights elsewhere. Age is just a number, so I say you should go for it. And rainbowrandolph, dietcoketree has good advice, but there's also nothing wrong with letting her know how you feel and seeing how that plays out. When I was 16, I fell in love with a guy who was at the time dating someone else and I let him know I was interested in him, then found out that he was also interested in me and things between he and his gf then were shakey and not the most serious. We became very good friends over that period of time and didn't do anything to dishonor his relationship with the girl he was with and she broke up with him, so he took a week to himself and then asked me out. It worked out fine and we had a great relationship while it lasted. But don't waste all your time trying to get this girl, do date around and see what your options are. Pretty much, I'm just saying the same idea that dietcoketree has. Keep your options open, but don't quite give up on the original goal unless you're absolutely sure it's best. You never know what could happen.
Well here is the thing i dont know her htat much , thats what i mean ouch .. I dont have time to spend with her , how can i Love someone if i never see them...Thats why i dont call it love .. i call it a crush that prob would never work ... thats why i mean.
Ramona ~ Do you still talk to that guy? OK well I could tell you the background between me and this girl, but basically you both are right. I am lucky to be able to feel as deeply as I do for one person. Luckily we did get to exchange feelings, and if I trust what my instincts tell me we will get back together. WHAT ARE SOME NICE THINGS I CAN DO? I really didn't take it too well at first and I think i pissed her off a bit, so im going to think about what I can do to make up for it.
Yes, I do still talk to him. He lives quite a distance away (he moved to California less than a year after we broke up, then moved to Dallas this summer and he visited me on his way), so we don't get to have a lot of contact anymore and after we broke up, things went a bit sour for awhile (a big hooplah that involved him falling in love with my best friend, but hey, such is life, it happens), but we've been talking a lot more in recent times. And the best thing you can do is just continue to be her friend and don't push her for any more than that. In due time, things will work out.
I would have examined why she isnt talking to you. By now you have been in and out a few relationships and still keep lines of communicato avail to other woman just in case. I am not sure what kind of message this sends her. To me it sets up disaster and bad karma if you really believe she is not aware of these kind of actions that to me dont send the message to her that says "I love you"... I would stop second guessing it and be bold in confronting her. If she is still in a relationship.. yeah laying low is respectful. Is the status of this relation stable, solid, and happy? If you want to be taken seriousely I would say demonstrate you heart through your actions rather than building other things that you know you will abandone if she ever comes around or if you cant stop thinking of her. Love is not casual. It is not a game. It doesnt change minute to minute or change based on what ANYBODY else says including family, friends and strangers like us. You need to trust your instincts and decisions for once in your life and prove to her why she can trust you. Personally if I were her I would not trust becuase I know how strongly you feel and change your mind. We all need to live and move on, but not if what we do can hurt others in our efforts to fill a void. I know I am late in offering my true thoughts on this and I hope that this new love you found out of town ... that your bro told me about ..I hope she is the one. Whatever you each do ....remember you are MEN who need to make your own choices and not base it on anybody elses thoughts, perceptions etc. Either way it seems to change moment to moment so mostly trust yourself, be true to yourself, and know what you want. As for me I just think that "action" , "proof" is needed becuase words no longer mean a thing. If I were in her shoes I would make him prove it through actions. We tell ourselves the biggest lies
Rainbowrandolph - we really need some "backstory" (as we say in Hollywood) to really understand your situation. Did you ever date this woman? Is she only a casual acquaintance? Know her well?
