Too Smart ... Too Pretty

Once I was told I was "too smart to be a girlfriend, but too pretty to be taken seriously."

What do you think about that concept -- not just in relationship to me (PLEASE do not relate this concept to me!) but in relationship to the way men think about women and women think about themselves?

 

pppffff I have yet to meet a girl like that!~ haha

 

someone had their head up their ass, is my call

 

I think men are always gonna say and think that kind of stuff. The important things is that we have to find our own sense of self seperate from what men think of us. easier said than done, I know. But really, they will always see us as less than them, or more (depends on the man) or as objects or toys or servants or goddesses or baggage or whatever the trip is. The trick is to learn to know who we are inside and keep it and not let somebody else's trip change or effect that sense of who we are.

 

My current girlfriend of over two years is movie star beautiful, has a Ph.D and an MBA, and is head of her own multimillion dollar business. Many men would be intimidated by women like that, but I love them that way. We can each be strong in different ways. My late wife was a nationally ranked tennis player, and had a masters degree.

You have to be strong to survive with women like this, or they will eat you alive. You have to learn when to push, and when not to.

Suncatch, that may be your problem- if you have a weak guy, you will dominate him until he leaves you.

 

Uh ... wow. Except for ihmurria you all proved my point.

Men think smart women are intimidating and pretty women are property.

Thanks.

 

Don't hold this all on men
lots of women feel the same way - and enjoy it at that
and lots of women understand that men that feel this way - and exploit it

 

well, I'm sorry for thinking that men who think like that have their heads up their asses, and tha tthey aren't by any necessity the majority

see now, this is why I liek dating nerds. 1) I get along best with 'em 2) they appreciate intelligence and 3) they're usually happy as all fucking hell that a woman is interested in them.

 

Thats a pretty retarded thing to say to someone. Sounds like a guy being an ass to me.

 

whoa, that's kinda how I feel about my girlfriend
shit, am I a nerd?
whoa

... how come I didn't go for a smarter chick? *scratches head*

 

Well, "men" don't think anything of the sort. Some men, possibly, but certainly not men in general.

I'm crazy about a girl at the moment that is both beautiful and smart. I can't relate to women that aren't intelligent, and I'm not interested in girls that aren't pretty.

The first thing that attracted me to this girl was that she looked smart and was at the same time beautiful.

Intelligent men, I think, are naturally going to be attracted to intelligent women. I know a guy that is a computer scientist at NASA that was married to a girl from Central America with a ninth grade education. She was pretty, but not smart. They never got along. No wonder.

And "men" don't see pretty women as property. That's a stereotype. Maybe some men think that way, but most certainly don't. That's a totally false stereotype that comes from feminism, and that's all it is. I have, in fact, never known a man that thought like that, or that saw any woman as "property".

In fact, how would you like it if men stereotyped women as being x, y, and z, and those stereotypes were false?

So some guy said that to you? So what? Tell him to take a hike and keep on looking. It doesn't mean he's representative of the male sex in general. He's not.

And I disagree with cutted who said that men are intimidated by smart women. Maybe some men are, but not me. I'm turned off by women who aren't smart.

 

Sorry, DQ ... in case you haven't noticed, men DO stereotype women as x, y, and z.

Women do it to themselves a lot, too, by playing along. I'm not blaming either gender.

And I have been treated as property. I noticed it even before I became a feminist. Why do you have such a strong dislike and disregard for feminism?

Also -- ihmurria, I was not dissing you, I was agreeing with you.

 

I don't like the way that you completely disregarded his whole argument

what he observed/revealed was a strong argument against what you are saying

 

Maybe you have been treated as property, and if you have, that's wrong. But men in general don't treat women as property, pretty ones or otherwise.

And some men stereotype women (and themselves), and some women do that to men and to other women. That's true. But it doesn't mean that most people are doing that.

I have such a strong dislike and disregard for feminism because it attempts to unnecessarily pit the sexes against each other and stereotypes both men and women in an exaggerated, inaccurate way. And, if you carry these ideologies around with you in your head that analyze male/female relationships in this way, it's going to affect the way you look at the relationships you enter, and yourself. Some of these things you believe are therefore going to become self-fulfilling prophecies.

I started a thread a little while back where I asked if most people agreed with or believed some of these stereotypes about men and women. The vast majority didn't. http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=207887&page=1 Welcome to the real world.

 

the trick is ya gotta find a guy smarter than you will ever be so that they're not intimidated. Or one who has 'their thing' they excell at. Secure and healthy men like smart and beautiful girls.

 

Exactly.

 

I posted this extreme generalization as an oversimplification.
I don't personally believe it. Just wanted to see if anyone could make a discussion about it.
Instead a few people just reinforced the point.
Guess I didn't help either.

 

Okay I am a guy and I didn't even have to read the rest any guy that says that to any girl just wants to have sex that is not a concept it is a con. they guy who says that is trying to have sex with the girl he says it to without having any relationship issues or any commitment. Kick his ass.

 

I did not say that all men are intimidated by smart women, but only some guys. I get this from some of the smart women I have dated (which is close to 100% of the women I have dated). And I have twin daughters who went to top colleges and had very high (identical) SAT scores and grades from a great prep school, and I have had discussions with them about this issue. The older you get, the harder it is to find guys who are attracted to smart women who are not already "taken".

The thing is, as you go from place to place in life, from high school to college to graduate school to professions or jobs of responsibility, you meet people who have made a similar journey in life. And when you meet those people,you see that you have a lot in common, and may become friends, and sometimes lovers. It is so common that people who feel out of step in high school go on to college and careers and find people of like mind and values, and are much happier.

If a smart woman is caught in a situation where there are not enough smart, quality men around them, they should try to put themselves in new situations where they will be exposed to such men - join social clubs, business groups, school groups, etc. They will be there, looking for smart women to date.

 

I had one guy not want to date me anymore because I was 'uncultured and immature' . He was an elistist snob, who ordered banana liquor and only was 5'7 so I really didn't care.
i just thought I'd throw this one in as some guys want women who will fit in their little perfect elitest snob book-club going, cigar bar lunching world.